I have been thinking for awhile and observed for a while, it appears to me more and more that dating these days to most people is a chore and not a magical experience. This is the same for friendship as well.
I was talking to some women that are at least 10 - 20 years older than me today at a company where I was dropping something off there. While waiting, I start having conversations with these ladies and they all seem to be OK with everything, very out going, no expectation, no games, just regular every day conversation.
Then I went up to another group of women who are somewhat at the same age group or maybe a little younger. The atmosphere just change drastically. Conversations were dry, showing signs that they are being very irritated. They seem uncomfortable with everything. So I stopped.
Then I am thinking to myself in terms of social interaction is concern. I realized that people are treating social activities like a prescribed chores with step by step instructions and people must do what is written on it. I very rarely get into any in depth conversation with anyone. At best, random bantering for hours with no real purpose in the conversation. If I do have a nice conversation with someone, it doesn't last long, unless if it is about business matter.
For example, I noticed that I cannot start a conversation with people unless I make some ridiculous comment first. If I try, it leads to a dry one word answer with a dirty look on their face saying "Why are you even talking?!" or they completely ignore you.
I feel as though I have to be someone that must execute everything little thing perfectly to have a conversation with someone these days. It seems very robotic to me when I read dating tips or relationship articles about how man and women should do this and that. Watch out for their body language, eye contacts, touching, cross arms, cross legs, sneezing, pick their nose, etc.
Have we become a nation to converse with one another systematically like our jobs?
Shouldn't social activities be an adventure and magical?
I often think about my friends that date a lot, do they actually feel those magical experience? or do they just date because they know the formula? However, I do noticed that they are never satisfy with their partners. There is always seem to be something wrong with each other.
So I am guessing they initially attract to one another based on what makes them feel good, rather than what is logically possible with them.
What are your thoughts?
- Yes, like a Chore40% (2)80% (8)67% (10)Vote
- Nope, I get that magical experience every time.60% (3)20% (2)33% (5)Vote
Most Helpful Girl
I love meeting new people and talking to new people and I've noticed something similar the other way around.
Because I'm a pretty girl (I've got self confidence thank you very much) whenever I talk to guys it's hard to actually have a real conversations. If it's not about them trying to make passes and hit on me and be a lewd as possible it feels like they're just sizing me up for dating or f***ing purposes. Every thing I say they react to like they're dissecting if I'm really worthy. I say I love sports, they ask which ones, which would be fine, but they do it in this tone like "Oh, really? Okay, sure." I say I like games or comics or something and it's the same thing. But if I don't talk about something manly, or I stop seemingly try to impress them they stop giving a sh*t.
I mean those are the few times I've had conversations that weren't just them hitting on me or judging me like a slab of meat trying to figure out how to get into my pants. I think it just depends where you meet them, what mood they're in and all that. Whenever I go out LARPing or something the people there are nothing but nice and open and wonderful and loving, but try at a club or bar and it's completely different. So I htink it's just local, really. I just met a guy and we're kind of maybe dating and it's as magical as can be, it all just clicked and it is wonderful.1