What do you think of this article about dating profiles?

5 Reasons Your Online Dating Profile Isn't Working: link

Yes, it's Cracked, but it really had some good points.

If you don't want to read it all, please at least read the 5 points :-P

I know some won't like #1 because some act like it's the worst thing to ever happen, but I completely agree with what it says, haha!

Do you find this to be mostly true?

Good advice, you think?

Updates:
Wow, people took this article VERY seriously, huh?

Haha!

0|0
4|9

Most Helpful Guy

  • What a coincidence, I was just reading that one, last night. Yeah, it had a few good points. But yes, I do agree with it. As evidenced by my previous answers. I also have other thoughts on the friend zone. link In this link I'm the guy with 7+. (Or at least it's 7+ when I posted this link) Anyway, yes, this article makes a lot of good points.

    2|3
    0|0

What Guys Said 8

  • This isn't specific to online dating, so that's my first problem. I also think this article takes a very black and white/satirical stance on the issues (its cracked).

    5. is true, although to a certain degree, its normal to expect our partners to make us happier than we currently are, and to bring something to the table that maybe I cannot provide myself, hence the reason they also call relationships, a partnership. We're supposed to work together, not independently.

    4. I completely disagree with this. If your single what else are you supposed to have? This article is suggesting that I live my life with an imaginary Girlfriend even though I'm single. I'm human so of course, I'm going to have favorite TV shows, hobbies, activities that I enjoy. How is that an implication that I cannot make room for a relationship? Sure if you are obsessive over something to the point where it completely envelops your life OK then sure, maybe you aren't ready for a relationship, but other than that, I just don't see it.

    3.I agree most people have a habit of this and online dating only makes it worse, by turning dating into window shopping. I think the media and our exposure to so much of the world that goes beyond our communities, thanks to things like the internet, TV, movies, books. People have developed these fantasy images of what their partner and relationship should feel like. When it falls short, they assume that the person was lacking when in reality they just held that person to too high of a standard as if they were a machine who shouldn't have any flaws.

    2. Well of course, this goes without saying, that if you are a sh*tty human being, your going to have a hard time getting dates. However, I think the author, especially with the inclusion of that table, again is grossly over generalizing people. Why can't a person have opinions about something without being labeled as a bad person. The author sounds like a staunch liberal who is using a common tactic of basically stating that anyone who doesn't agree with his views is a morally bad person who must have nothing but negative, destructive, and deceitful motives behind everything he does. It's a very cynical and black and white view of people.

    1. I think this entire friend zone thing is totally misinterpreted. As someone who has been friend zoned far to many times to count, I'll admit that in some cases it was my fault for both the way I chose to court the girl and my naivety for not understanding what was going on. Then again, when your 17yrs old, you know nothing about dating. The reason friend zoned people get angry, and then therefore are given a bad name, isn't simply because they've been friend zoned, its typically because they are frustrated by the obvious naivety and ignorance of the other person in not realizing that you were courting them and not looking for a friend. What makes people mad is when they feel led on, not rejection. I know that's where my beef always was.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Update: well you did ask the question, which sort of forces us to take it seriously if we want to answer your question thoroughly.

    • Well thank you for answering :-)

  • what the hell kind of dating sites does this person go to? I have never seen anything like anything he wrote about - of course I haven't been on a dating site in a while..

    I could simplify his criteria in a much more accurate way, by the way:

    1 reason why your dating profile isn't working: you are a guy. there are hundreds of you for every girl. Ever hear the phrase "people want what they can not have?" well, the moment any girl lays a single finger anywhere near a dating website it become obnoxiously clear that they can have just about any guy on the planet - some will even pay their airfare. So, that becomes precisely what they do not want.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Normally Cracked is at least humorous, if not informative and insightful, but this one was pretty weak both in entertainment and actual utility. Numbers 5 and 4 are almost contradictory. I realize that's a simplification, but he is specifically talking about online dating profiles. Because online dating profiles are usually viewed only for a few minutes, anyone that falls into the category mentioned in number 5 would come off as someone who feels like something is missing from their life, and wants a partner to fill that void, whereas someone who falls into the category mentioned in number 4 would come off as someone who has a satisfying and happy life, who doesn't need someone to fill a void. Of course the idea that viewing an online dating profile would allow someone to recognize either of these types of people is pretty unlikely.

    Now number 3, I have no doubt that this is a serious character flaw that many people posses, but I once again find it very unlikely that such a flaw would be apparent from an online dating profile. Maybe with a few people it is so obvious that you can't miss it, but I think this one is BS.

    Number 2 at least has some merit, but for every guy (or girl) who possess the views he mentioned, there is another one of the opposite sex that shares, or at least respects those views. Still, it would be advisable to not say most of the phrases he lists.

    Number 1, oh boy, what I like about this one is he completely abandons the pretense of writing about how not to construct a dating profile, and finally just admits that he wanted to write an article bitching about men. Also, it is complete BS. This line in particular is particularly telling.

    "As if life wasn't hard enough already, now you have ALL THESE GODDAMN FRIENDS."

    Has the author never been in a situation where this is an actual problem? Or maybe he is just a sh*tty friend. He doesn't seem to realize that friendship is a two-way street, and that not only do you get something from friends, but you owe them something in return. If someone is getting all or most of their needs met in the friends department they don't need any more friends because all it does is add obligations and complications to their life. The only time more friends is, by default, a good thing is when you are the type of person who leaches everything they can out of a relationship, while returning as little as possible.

    This is why I, and many other guys, dislike the whole "friend zone" thing. It isn't a consolation prize. It usually isn't a stepping stone on the way to something better. It is a counteroffer where a woman is essentially telling a guy "I don't want to be in a relationship with you. I don't want to make any effort to meet your relationship needs, but I hope that you will take time out of your day to meet some of my needs."

    Here's a better list

    5. Your pictures don't look good

    4. Your "about me" section is boring

    3. You don't seem talented

    2. You seem egotistical

    1. You're not rich

    0|0
    0|0
    • Wow, you don't want more friends? That's weird, don't you think? You don't have a very positive idea of friendship :-(

      And, it isn't referring to the women who USE men, it's simply referring to the women that only like a man as a friend and the man gets mad because he thinks he deserves sex ON TOP OF the companionship she's already providing him, just because he was nice to her.

    • Show All
    • beneficial way. It isn't pleasant to think about, but it is the truth.

      As for the men who think they deserve sex, while I am certain there are no shortage of guys like that, I don't think it is the response of most guys who get "friend-zoned" Most guys, and this is based only on anecdotal evidence, I have no polls or studies to back this up, but most guys I think see friend-zoning as an offer to accept most of the burdens of being a boyfriend with none of the payoff in return.

    • I don't view people as obligations, so I guess that's why I'll never see it your way.

      And no, not everyone uses people.

      But that's your opinion, even more cynical than mine, haha! Which says a lot.

      To each his own.

  • To be honest, to me it smells like run of the mill proselytizing for western pop-culture complacency. It sets up extreme strawmen then tears them down while trying to look clever. A fat guy posing with a sword (and yes, it is a sword because katana means sword in Japanese) is an extreme example and everyone can figure out this isn't what most online daters will do. Most people will just show themselves, and when rejected it will be due to looks and nothing else. People's looks determine the amount of activity someone will get. Trying to deny or sugarcoat baseline human behavior is always goofy in itself. So that's why even if the critiques upon the strawman might not be wrong, but they're also not particularly useful, unless you're abnormally clueless.

    That "advice" is also possibly only from the female perspective. Guys generally don't get serious attempts at first contact from girls on any of those sites. It's the exception rather than the rule, and this only makes the guy with sword example more ridiculous. Guys have to make the first contact on those sites. This is for a number of reasons, but mainly because the ratio of users is massively skewed in favor of females, since online dating is considered lowly by pop-culture, but guys are shameless compared to girls.

    I find more interesting to question society's prejudices (which are inherently flaws), not how to navigate around them to be popular rank and file. I think most of us are capable enough to figure out the latter on our own without some snarky comedy page. If it was not trying to be useful, then I've seen funnier.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I'm almost positive it's meant to be more funny than useful.

    • Show All
    • Never heard of it. I guess everyone got trolled. Still I can't help but think someone was at least trying to stick it to someone for real, by the way it was written. Would be nice to see a response article with a good looking stud posing with a sword, getting a lot of messages; the sword it reminds girls of sephyroth.

    • Cracked magazine and Cracked.com are meant to be funny. They're not trolls, haha!

  • Cracked is generally known for making good points in a very satirical manner.

    Of course, this gave me a strong "men generally suck" vibe, by basically avoiding women altogether.

    0|1
    0|0
  • 5, 4, 3 and 2 are nothing specific to online dating. They're reasons why people might be alone, period.

    1? I don't think he understands the roots of it at all.

    Actual advice specific to online dating, I'd say the okcupid blog has by far the most interesting stuff.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It;'s quite informative

    0|0
    0|0
  • 5 and 4 are good points. But the rest not so much.

    3 isn't true, because the fact is you can 'trick' people. That's what (for girls) make-up is. That's what (for guys) confidence is. Perhaps 'trick' is the wrong word, but anyway. The other day, some guys asked on GAG something like, "If I get a six pack, will I be better with girls?" The answer is 'no', because those guys lack confidence. I've personally experienced situations where confidence was literally the only thing that made the difference between failure and success.

    2 is just stupid. Each of us is a mix of good and bad, as uncomfortable as that idea makes us. The 'dictionary' is false for some pretty obvious reasons.

    1 is pointless and a little gynocentric, which is weird as the article's written by a man. That said, some girls on GAG have asked questions like "Why should I continue being friends with this guy when he's rejected me?" So maybe my criticism of number one will resonate with some girls too. one doesn't actually offer any advice, even though the advice would be quite simple: stop acting like 'just a friend' with people you don't want to be 'just a friend' with. This is especially true if you're a guy.

    I don't think writing dating advice in a humorous, exaggerated tone is very useful. And writing dating advice that is not gender-specific is also not very useful.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 4

  • Never had one account in a dating site so wouldn't know, but this article seemed fair enough in my opinion. I mean specially #1 - people really do get offended when friend-zoned which is a win anyway...If you liked this person enough to wanna date him/her then why is it bad to just be his/her friend?! Anyway, I see how those rules apply in real life, hence the comment from moa.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I love it, it's awesome! That one graphic ends so nicely... "I hate people=I hate myself"... It's very true :)

    1|0
    0|0
    • I know!

      I sometimes feel like just posting this article as my answer to those "I hate women because they don't date me" posts, haha!

  • Oh my gosh, isn't #1 the truth though?!

    It's a very entertaining article. :) Hopefully more people will read it, because it does bring up some very good points.

    1|0
    0|0
  • #1 speaks the truth

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...