As a black American male, I hate to say this but this is a fact, pardon me if the below paragraph makes you uncomfortable:
due to how mass American media portrays black males so negatively, with my interactions with females (including black females), I am most of the time "swimming upstream" because I am in most cases having to dispel negative black male stereotypes. This is especially true for those females that haven't interacted with many black males in person. So the idea that "race doesn't matter" when it comes to dating, is false in my case as well as for other black men.
So ladies I am asking all of you; do you have any personal hesitancy towards dating a black guy?
Please vote on the poll and reply as much as you wish about your views on this topic. Anonymous answering is allowed for your privacy if you feel you need the protection to answer in detail.
Thank you for your candid input.
- I haven't found an available black guy that I find physically attractive and a "personality and value match"18% (3)0% (0)12% (3)Vote
- I think/know my family is prejudice/racist towards interracial dating of any race0% (0)12% (1)4% (1)Vote
- I think/know that my family is open to interracial dating but are prejudice/racists towards black males0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
- I have had or heard about bad experiences involving black males and those "stick in my mind" and make me hesitant to date a black guy6% (1)12% (1)8% (2)Vote
- I have zero problems with me dating a black guy / I'm dating a black guy now76% (13)76% (6)76% (19)Vote
Most Helpful Girl
This is a really interesting question, and I'm glad you asked it. I'm American, for the record, because I know we have some unique history re: black/white race relations.
Personally, I've never seen a black guy who I thought (solely judging appearances) was attractive. Not to say that these guys aren't objectively good-looking - it's just that they're not really my type.
Beyond that, though, there are a lot of cultural factors that push me away from dating a black guy, ranging from making me uncomfortable to making me afraid around them as a group.
It seems like so much of "black" culture that makes it into pop culture glorifies violence and money. Within this, men are supposed to be some kind of hyper-macho, "f*** the haters" beings, while women are kind of absent from the scene other than being described as sex objects. There's a really strong anti-intellectual bent within this group, too. All of that bothers me a lot, so when I see some black guy dressed like a rapper, all these negative thoughts come up. This goes as well for anybody who's dressed like they might belong to a gang.
Beyond that, just like anybody else, I want to fit in. Black culture is, by definition, something that excludes me, and something I'm mostly unfamiliar with. I would feel really uncomfortable meeting the friends and family of a black guy I'm dating because I would be afraid of being excluded, alienated, or singled out. I know there's still a lot of racial tension between various ethnic groups, so I'd be worried that some black people would hate me just because I'm a privileged white girl, because I have an education and some money, or because they feel personally wronged by all white people in general.
In short, I agree that mass media portrays black men in a poor light, and "swimming upstream" is an apt metaphor - I certainly have (and I think lots of others do, too) a lot of preconceived notions about what black men do and how they act, and all that does a pretty good job of scaring me off.1