My boyfriend of 4months told me he's fallen in love with me. Then at a later stage, said he wants to always be in my life - in some shape or form if not romantically.
Bear in mind, we were friends before and were crazy for each other for over a year before confessing how we felt. We're each others first boyfriend and girlfriend - I've dated a little before but he's never dated at all until now.
I'm just 21, he's just 20. I love him to bits but I'm worried he's making all these promises he can't keep. I used to not put any expectation on dating or romance to avoid disappointment or clinginess but now that he's mentioned all this, it's made me actually start considering all these long term things. I don't believe in marriage at the moment but believe in long-term partners. He never mentioned marriage but I have a feeling he means that as he's usually worried about being overbearing and overly serious with me.
Is it even possible for this to work out? Do you think he's overreacting?
I'm afraid to feed into it seriously in case things take a sudden turn for the worst. Please help. I need advice on this.
Since, I'm his first girlfriend/date/any romantic partner, I was sure I'd enjoy our time together but expect to let him go later in life as he would become curious about other women at a later stage. What's your input?
Most Helpful Guy
My input is:
- you can't protect your heart from disappointment by building emotional walls. You have to live, feel, love, and if you get hurt, pick yourself up and do it again. Trying to avoid feelings is actually an adolescent/immature move. Its the same instinct that makes people develop phobias. Trust in your ability to get over things if and when you need to.
- you can protect your finances/life from being derailed by bad decisions.
- You're young and there's no rush.
It sounds like things are going well. Maybe you will spend your lives together. If so, great. But there's no rush to get married, have kids, whatever. If he sees a long term future, great, if you do, great. If in 5 years you split up, you'll pick yourself up and move forward. You're not at a point where you actually have to -commit- to being together for life. There's no harm in considering it as a possibility.0