Are guys only nice to women they intend to date?

for real, if you figure out that you aren't going to be dating someone you've been talking to, do you stop talking to them and stop being nice to them?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd like to think I'm the same to you whether I'm trying to date you or not. By which I mean nice, or whatever. When I'm trying to date someone I just tell her how I feel. That's it. If she's not interested, I'll back off a little, and I won't tell her again. I won't disappear though, and I'm not going to turn into some kind of jerk, just because it's not going to happen. Similarly, if I'm not into a girl, it's not like I'm going to be mean to her.

    As I said, I'd like to think I'm the same guy whether I like a girl or not. Personally, I think the only kinds of guys who are nice to you if they're trying to date you are not actually nice. I think that should go without saying. It's fair to call the kinds of guys you're describing, "douche bags" and equally fair to say they're not worth your time, or tears.

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What Guys Said 15

  • Many guys are 'extra nice' to women they're trying to date.

    Many attractive women have a lot of male friends who are always in boyfriend-audition mode, so they think that's normal, and complain that women are mean, because women are never as nice as their male 'friends'.

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  • Some guys are like that. If the girl is't going to wind up sleeping with them, she doesn't exist for them.

    Most of us are happy to have someone to talk to and discuss things with without the pressure of being 'in a relationship', so we tend to seek out women we aren't romantically involved with very often. It's healthy to relate to women when you don't have the mechanisms of defense that are put up mutually when you are 'flirting' or 'dating.'

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  • I wouldn't say I'd stop being nice and I wouldn't stop talking to them.

    There's a very noticeable difference when people (men or women) talk to each other when they're attracted to each other and when they want to attract the other person.

    So if a guy stopped talking to a woman I'd guess he figured out she's not interested and moved on to other possibilities.

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  • No I'm pretty much nice to everyone. If I decide I don't want to date them I would just talk to them less.

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  • I try to be nice to all girl I meet. Altough I tend to be nicer to those that I have an intrest in yes.

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    • I agree. Yeah, I'm usually nice to almost everyone, but if I'm interested in someone, I'll usually go the extra mile for them...

  • I'm nicer to girls I don't intend to date. I'm kind of aloof to girls I'm interested in, unless I am ready to "pull the trigger" and ask her out.

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  • No.

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  • No I still talk to my friends here and there.

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  • I'm nice to everyone, but I'm nicer to women who I'm interested in or attracted to. We all are.

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  • Why are you asking this question?

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  • Yes, but some are really gentleman.

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  • Yes, I have no use for her then.

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  • no I'm nice to all women

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  • Nope. I'm nice to everyone

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  • The opposite for me. I make sure I'm not 'too nice' to the women I want to date, because I know that's a turn-off. I'll be nice to women I don't want to date.

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    • I can't speak for all girls, but I like a guy MORE the nicer he is. lol

What Girls Said 2

  • no, all the guys I know don't seem to want to date me and they are super nice to me

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  • This is a fascinating question! Guys are never nice to me because I'm ugly!

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