What is with the stigma in regards to online dating?

I'm in my early 20s and looking for an older man (15 years max), and I can't meet any single ones anywhere. I'm either at my retail job (where most men that come in there are married/paired off or under 25 and thus snooty/uninterested), girlie outings with friends, or I'm in my female-dominated courses at school. Bars and clubs are fun but most guys there just want sex for one night then to forget about you forever.

So, now I'm online and chatting with the more mature crowd, going on real dinner dates that the younger men refuse to do (I'm the girl who always wants to go Dutch). Why is it such a pathetic route to take, when you simply don't meet the right bachelors in real life? And no, I'm not fat, ugly, or a bitch...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I also wanna mention is.. speaking as a guy in his early 30's, I honestly can't see myself dating a woman your age. Not that I'm saying 20 year olds are bad people its more about having things in common. And also I guess I'm afraid of people looking at me as if I was a creepy old man. But then again, what do I know? All the gals I've been with were either my age exact or one or 2 years younger.

    You sound like a really great catch and I really do think you need to give yourself a chance in this world. Life is too short! Granted I've dated some real "winners" and had a bad attitude as a result but I'm a changed person now. Not everyone is the same. I've suffered from low self worth all of my life and am working on getting it changed.

    I guess one of the primary reasons is why I'm against the big age difference is this news story I saw last year. Not sure if you saw it, but this teacher is california who is in is early 40's left his wife for an 18 year old student! That just really distrubed and repulsed me. But I'm just one human being with views. Again, do what you feel is right for you, just giving my 2 cents

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    • Thanks! I get the creepiness of the 18/40 thing for sure, but I feel like 5-15 years is no big deal. I'm seeing a guy 8 years older and it's really easy to talk to him. I'm glad you're moving on from bad experiences too; that be really hard. Good luck!

    • Thank you, yea when it comes to bad experinces... I just say "whats done is done and can only move foward" But I won't go into details.. Whatever anyway, just wondering, how do your parents feel about this new guy your seeing? I have a friend who was with a guy 9 years older and her folks didn't approve cause of his age. That's another reason why I'm unsure of dating a girl in her early 20's cause of her parents

    • They're fine, as long as he is a decent guy, stable, and has a direction in life (Aka not laying around the house playing video games while I work).

What Guys Said 3

  • It's probably hanging around just because of all the creepy and weird people that are online. Everyone knows plenty of people that have tried online dating, so there's no need to feel bad about it. If you really want to avoid the stigma, you can always just make up a story about how y'all met.

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  • It's hard to meet people. Look, don't give up on guys your age just yet. There are ones out there looking for gf's. Its about finding them. Besides can you really see yourself dating a 35 year old? What if he has kids?Try speed dating, do some volunteer work. Maybe join an adult youth group?

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    • You're sweet, but my situation is weird. The last guy I dated that was my age had a low sex drive (had sex with me like 4 times then dumped me after a few months and insulted my body, despite saying he loved me and how lucky he was before). My sexual needs are very high, and I don't want an entitled 3-year-old in a 20-year-old body who will prefer p*rn or his bros over having sex with me. In fact, I'm terrified by it. Maybe an older man will appreciate my youth and beauty and take care of me.

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    • As for other men my age, I dated a lot and they had the same problems: wanting to stay in all the time, money being an issue (while they go buy themselves $$$ of steampunk costumes mind you), lying, never manning up and standing up for me, being physically rough, etc. They have consistently acted way less mature (and less empathetic!) than me, so young guys are a turnoff.

    • Well, there's always a reason of the saying "Women like older men and men like younger women" to be so true

  • It's because the media has already affected how the world works. You need to adapt to them.

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