Is it normal that I'm terrified to date?

I've been single all my life, I've recently developed a crush on this guy in my program. I've been contemplating whether or not I want to approach him and ask for a date. Honestly, I know how I'd handle it if he rejected me, but I don't know what I'd do if he said yes.

I think what it is is that I'd rather be rejected up front than for him to get to know me and then reject me. Is it normal to feel this way? Should I approach him? Any words of encouragement?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can't say its abnormal for you to feel that way. I'm sure you have your reasons, but imo I don't think you should ask him for a date...especially not right off the bat.

    I think you should show him that your interested...giving him a compliment (but don't overdo it..just give the compliment, preferably a flirty one and see what he does with it) or you could talk to him about simple things, get a convo going and once you guys start to know each other a little bit more then you could flirt/tease him. guys will get the picture soon and if he likes you enough he will ask you for your number and hopefully a date will follow.

    Also, .. you don't have to feel bad if a guy gets to know you and things don't work out. Its just a part of life. It happens to people all the time. Doesnt necessarily mean something is wrong with u..it just means you and that particular guy wasn't a good match. it's a simple as that. don't let that affect your self esteem or anything. I'm sure you'd be a great prize for another guy.

    anyways, all the best.

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What Guys Said 3

  • It's better to have loved at least once than to never have loved at all...paraphrasing, of course.

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  • It's normal. After all, a lot of guys are terrified as well.

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  • whats your age? if your are still in high school that's understandable, but out of high school, you shouldn't be scared since you are a girl, you get to be passive

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What Girls Said 3

  • maybe you should approach him first and then try to get a date, I think it would be kind of weird if you haven't spoken to him and you suddenly come up to him and ask for a date

    I think it is normal to be scared, and just as you are scared there are guys that feel the same way out there, try not to worry and take things calmly,

    If you get rejected don't worry, even the best of them get rejected, it has nothing to do with you, it is all in them, maybe you werent their cup fo tea but that doesn't mean you are any less worthy

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  • I'm not sure if it is normal, but I feel the same way. It's scary when everyone else seems to know what they're doing and time goes by and somehow we were left clueless...

    They say there's a first time for everything. Hopefully it's true. Maybe things change when you and someone really click, but for that to happen we have to risk some...

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  • Yes it's normal to feel that way. If you just meet someone you don't have anything invested. If you date for a month, you start to get attached. Together for a couple years, and you're invested. THAT'S when it really hurts to lose someone. You can't ever get a broken heart if you don't ever love, but that's no way to live. Go for it. Take a risk and don't worry about the downside.

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