In dating: are people born winners and losers?

Do you believe in dating that some are born winners and losers. Of course there are exceptions, but overall. Do you feel that people who suck at the opposite sex have little chance of improving.

That an alpha male starts out like that in high school and keeps that innate skill with women for their adulthood. And that people who don't have that chemistry with women, no matter how much they try to learn, won't have the same ease?

I'm not sure what to think about this. I like to think this isn't true, but the thought tempts my mind. I'm not talking about a 12 year old developing into a 16 year old guy who likes women. I mean a full grown adult.

Are there many cases of adults who start out as socially awkward, women don't find them attractive, they don't get laid. And then transform into a man that women both love and lust. Is this ever or often the case?

your thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hell no!

    Some people are born with a particular aptitude for something and others not equally blessed but the average guy works his ass off to get his love life under control.

    I had my first relationship from 14-16 and got emotionally obliterated. I then remained abstinent right up until my 20th. When I started trying to get back into relationships I found I wasn't well equipped. I'd avoided girls for so long that any girl I liked made me feel anxious.

    I didn't have confidence or knowledge. It felt like everyone was so much more experienced then I was, that with each passing day, I fell further and further behind. I made the decision I wanted to change. I made the sacrifice. I ended up completely dismantling my own self image and rebuilding it in the process.

    It was embarrassing man, terrifying really. Most girls just swept me off to the side. Some had the audacity to mock and laugh; that stuff hurts. A girl was responsible for giving me my first and only panic attack right smack in the middle of a college cafeteria. I was as low as one could get and I found that comforting. Eventually I started getting things right and it just snowballed from there.

    That's just my case up for examination but I honestly believe that behind any successful guy is a billion and one stories of failure and rejection.

    • Best Answer

    • Very.true...I had to do a similar process with myself. I believe all guys, even good looking ones, still have to put in a lot of work to get someone. Good looking guys catch a girl's interest initially but they bored or annoyed of his lack of social skills.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I think we are al losers but some are just better at it, like they learn faster

  • I would say most are born losers, but some of them are fast learners which could make them winners


What Guys Said 4

  • Love yourself first, then you will learn to love others better. With confidence growth and defeating ones insecurities, a more natural, warm and engaging approach to dating will be achieved. Building confidence in yourself is the most key aspect to dating.

  • Yes, because you are born with looks, either good looking or terrible. No matter what Looks are the only thing that matters. In dating.

    • honestly, most the guys who got the girls werent spectacularly good looking. they were decent looking like most of us. but they grew up with the mentality that they are the top dog and it exudes.

    • LooksMatter, try focusing on things you can change instead of complaining about things that you can't. Or, get plastic surgery and prove your theory.

  • Admittedly, most success in dating is inherent. But there are tricks that can help you "fake it 'til you make it." ;)

  • something tells me the answer is yes