Why doesn't he talk much between dates?

we've been talking and going out for like a month. its on and off because of our schedules. like we will see each other a couple times in a week, then not for a week. I have every reason to think he at least likes my company and wants to keep seeing me from the time we do spend together. we had sex it was great and I've talked to him since then. last time we talked was about 4 days ago and he said this week he should be able to see me. after we met but before our first date he texted me every day at least once. after the first date he slowly slacked off to where we are now. we text occasionally between dates. I let him intiate most of the time and he usually just asks what I'm doing, then he tells me what he's doing or did that day. or he will kind of give me an idea of the next time we will get together. and I won't hear from him for days. when I intiate its usually something random and he always responds and asks me about my day or what I'm doing. so I'm just wondering if I should worry that he doesn't talk more? or is this a normal first month of kind of dating? I don't want to talk everyday so when we see each other we actually can have a convo. but I don't want to be played. I'm terrible about reading guys and how much they are interested. I'm shy and I don't feel comfortable at this time talking about it with him ( I def don't want to come off as needy or nagging)


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What Guys Said 1

  • I empathize with your situation and I know exactly how you are feeling. No, it is not normal, but nor is it abnormal. The reality seems to be that every person is different and sometimes dating is easy and falls right into place. Most of the time, however, judging from the first hand experience and the stories friends have told me, it is not.

    Texting is a relatively new tool in dating and it is great because it is fast. However, it can also be seen as just another stress factor. Everyone I know plus myself, and I would guess you, find ourselves gauging our mate's interest level by a multitude of factors, most of which include mostly guess work:

    - how fast does she respond

    - Who initiates, him or me

    - Why does he leave me hanging

    - Did I show her enough interest in that last text etc etc.

    - was I too forward, or too cautious

    Once we get into this game, our heads are likely to explode and the whole relationship becomes a quid pro quo game with a potential winner and loser.

    My advice, and one I am trying to follow myself, is this: sidestep this whole mindset. Focus on OTHER THINGS THAN DATING. Here are some ideas:

    - focus on your work/school

    - exercise

    - go dancing with friends

    - plan a trip with friends

    - volunteer

    Many of these things will calm your mind and slow time down. Also, they increase your social value by giving you something interesting to talk about, whether with your potential lover, or someone new.

    At the end of the day, your life is yours to live, so don't allow your mind to be taken over by anyone else.

    Hope this helps.

    C

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What Girls Said 1

  • bottom line is if a guy like a girl he is usually very infatuated with her quite instantly especially the first month or two. it doesn't matter how busy he is when a guy is infatuated by a girl almost nothing will stop him from calling/ talking/ being sweet to her. it should be very obvious how he feels. if you are questioning or having to ask or unsure what he is thinking or feeling towards you chances are more invested in him than he is in you.

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