Is it wrong to date multiple guys?

I don't mean date as in go on a ton of dates with the same guy while also going on a bunch of dates with other guys. But go on one or 2 dates with each to test the waters

Updates:
I mean going on ONE date with each, not actively dating each guy, and going on multiple dates with each of them. I don' think I should have to put 'all of my eggs in one basket' for some guy I just met.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • My mom actually used to do that. If she went on two dates, that was going steady.

    Personally, I don't much like the idea. But that's just because things like dates don't come easy to me, so it upsets me to think of girls going through the week dating a new guy each day, thinking that each of those guys had to impress her, and so he spent that time thinking only of her, but to her, he's just a day in the week, one of her many options she gets to pick and choose from.

    But see, that's my own psychological problem. That isn't a social one. I don't think we should make excuses to avoid love, especially if that reason is because some anonymous dude on the internet has trouble trusting women with his emotions, and has never "gotten laid". It's my problem not yours.

    So I say go for it. Not based on MY opinion or MY feelings, but based on YOURS. If you get so many opportunities that you can date multiple guys, I can't see a logical reason NOT to date them. Just, if you don't mind, treat their hearts with care. They might be one day out of your week, but you could be the one shot they have that year.

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What Guys Said 21

  • If you are in the very early stages of "dating", meaning you haven't made any significant progress with anyone yet, then it's fine to date multiple people. Just be up-front with them that you are dating around until you find someone you really click with. Most people are fine with that, and will appreciate you being up-front about it, and making it clear where things stand.

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  • Nothing wrong in it absolutely as long as all the concerned guys know that you are dating others (may save some ugly situations) and you haven't committed to any of them or others :)

    As long as there is no malice and stuff I don't see any problem in dating multiple guys and having some fun and / or weighing your options.

    The moral brigade may say it's wrong but as long as you toe the line of transperancy it's good at all ends :)

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  • There's gotta be some sense of loyalty, even in casual dating. If guy #1 sees you out on a date with guy #2, he's going to know that you obviously didn't hold the first date in very high regard, because you're still looking for something better. If I were guy #1 in that situation, I wouldn't be mad, but I wouldn't go out with you again.

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  • First off, if you're in a non exclusive situation with these guys and you're just dating to see who you feel the connection with on a casual level then there is nothing wrong with it. If you are in an exclusive relationship and you're dating others by deception, then there is a lot wrong with it. Be that as it may it still equates to dating more than one person, but if you're committed, then that makes it wrong. If there is no commitment then its nothing at all wrong with it.

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  • I say there is nothing wrong with that as long as you aren't deceiving these guys to make them believe you are being mnogamous to them.

    I always presume a girl I'm seeing is always seeing someone else...I relationship monogamy should be 100% understood and discussed with no "wiggle room" for misunderstandings.

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    • agree 100%.

      Though I think it depends on the environment people are in. In smaller towns, I think there's no need for "the talk" about exclusiveness. In a larger city, yeah I think "the talk" is needed if you want to establish a monogamous relationship.

  • No, that's kind of how this process goes. You do of course have to make sure they are aware of it though.

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  • I am online dating and this is something I'd like to do (assuming all parties would be cool with finding who is the most compatible via dating)...but in practice moderately attractive women get 30 messages per week or something and men typically get one per year.

    I'm okay with dating one-at-a-time though, but the odds of finding the right partner are more in women's favor than they are in men's.

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  • If you we're a man, you'd be called a player.

    You don't have to put your eggs in one basket, just make sure you know what you want. That should make it a little easier to make a selection that way.

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  • I don't think it's wrong. As long as you aren't playing the guys for fools. There should be an unspoken understanding that it's just dating, and not a relationship yet.

    Though, as I said in a comment, I think it depends on your environment, in regards to this understanding. In smaller towns, I think there's no need for "the talk" about exclusiveness. In a larger city, yeah I think "the talk" is needed if you want to establish a monogamous relationship.

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  • It is not wrong I suppose to date multiple guys. It is also not wrong or impossible to have feelings towards them both/all. However it is not possible to be true to them at the same time, if that makes sense.

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  • Personally I don't date several girls when I'm dating a girl, and therefore I have the right to expect the same since I'm interested in THAT girl, not someone else at the same time.

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  • ask yourself if the position was flipped and you were one of the few girls that guy was dating how would you feel? I think if you can answer that truly you have the answer. its not about what we think its how you think and how your conscious will be after it

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    • best put I rekon. its all up to your judgement and how ud feel if the opposite was to happen

  • Define "wrong."

    And by "define wrong" I mean "no."

    You've made no social contracts with these men, aren't hurting anybody, and honestly... you said it best. It's silly to put all of your effort into a person you've just met.

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  • Technically no but I personally wouldn't want to date such a girl, I may close my eyes about guys of her past but if there also are guys in her present time that's kind of a red flag

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  • You can go on a date with as many guys as you want If it's okay with them. You should tell them it's to test the waters to see who you like.

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  • As long as you don't see a problem with a guy dating mutiple girls, then I don't see a problem

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  • No, if you're not committed to specifically one person you're currently dating.

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  • It's not, but you should tell them.

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  • Id just choose one if they arent important to you and if they are then test the waters

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  • Is it wrong?

    It's one of those things that's not really right or wrong. But any guy with a brain who learns that about you will walk away, whether he's just casually chatting, or if you two are on a date. If I was on a date with a girl and she casually said she's seeing multiple guys, I'd excuse myself and leave. I'm not wasting my time on a girl like that.

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  • as you have it worded, I see no problem with that.

    just make sure that you would be OK with that being done to you.

    i would do the same but if one of them became more, then id have to stop the dates with others. as long as it doesn't get physical or serious then dating more then one person is fine...

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What Girls Said 10

  • It's a smart way to date. There is no point in exclusively dating a guy if you're not his girlfriend. You have to experiment and date lots of guys so you can learn what you like best. Besides, dating is fun so enjoy it

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  • It is perfectly acceptable to date multiple guys or vise versa when you are not in a committed or monogamous relationship with any of them.

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  • I don't think it's wrong to date multiple people at once as long as all of the people you're dating know.

    If you are dating a bunch of guys and make them all feel special, like they're the only one you're interested in, then THAT'S wrong. That's essentially leading them on knowing you're not going to choose all of them. It's especially wrong if apart of your definition of dating includes being sexual because you could be exposing someone else to risk of STD's.

    Personally, I think it's very selfish and disgraceful. Many guys would find you unnattractive for doing that and putting them in a position where they may be getting attached, but you're forcing them to compete for you. Not cool.

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  • No. I mean, if you go on three or more dates with one guy then it's probably time to stop dating others, but until then you're free to date whomever you want. If you're not official then they have no right to be jealous.

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  • Not at all, so long as when you get more interested in one, you either discontinue dating the others or let him know you're dating multiple people.

    Transparency is important!

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  • no, because you aren't official or exclusive.

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  • If you are not in a relationship with them it is fine. However, you have to think about how the guys might feel. They might be looking to further your dates into a serious relationship.

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  • I think that's perfectly ok! You're not in a relationship so you can do whatever you like.

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  • Nothing weird about it. I constantly do that. I love dating! Doesn't even have to lead to a relationship, just spend some fun time with different guys. What is wrong with that?

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  • I don't see a big deal at all. Us women have to weigh out our options.

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