When should we get married?

When is it a good time to get married? Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 5 years now. We started dating in high school. I'm now 21 and he's 22...I want to get married soon but things in our lives aren't straight yet. I still have to finish college and he has to do stuff in his life...should we wait until we're in a better more stable place and in the meantime keep dating? Will marriage effect things in our life that we need to get done?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • When you reach the point that you truly love each other, totally trust each other, want to commit yourself to each other without exceptions, and want to be together and do things as a couple. That doesn't mean having to physically do everything together but it does mean taking the other person's interest in mind in whatever you do. Marriage will only enhance all of these. The only time you should probably wait to get married is when you just can't afford to get married or where one of the partners is located in a different location... is off to the military or working elsewhere, etc. You can still go to college while you're married, and depending on what stuff your boyfriend has to do, he should still be able to do it. Marriage doesn't stop anything nor get in the way or doing anything unless one of you want to still mess around with the other sex for awhile yet. One of the biggest reasons couple don't stay married and get divorced early is because they never dedicated/committed themselves to each other and made a firm commitment to stay together no matter what. So often couples spend much more time planning and spending for a fancy wedding than they do for time given and money spent for planning their marriage. Panning your marriage is much more important. If you feel you want to keep dating then that's OK, but you shouldn't be doing the things like living together and having sex as those things were designed and reserved for when a couple gets married. That's another reason marriages don't last. They do the things as a couple that are reserved for marriage, and then once they get married they come to realize nothing has changed in their lives except that they're officially married now and have a few more legal rights. If you really want to be together as man and wife for the rest of your lives then get married, and soon they find themselves bored. If you're not sure about that yet, then stay single and keep dating and working towards getting married and making is a good one. Good luck!

    jc-

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    • Correction: "They do the things as a couple that are reserved for marriage, and then once they get married they come to realize nothing has changed in their lives except that they're officially married now and have a few more legal rights, so they soon find themselves getting bored with each other. If you really want to be together as man and wife for the rest of your lives then get married. If you're not sure about that yet,..."

What Guys Said 2

  • wait till you finish college but yeah you guys been together long enough

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  • Marriage affects everything - it can't help it. It's the nature of the beast.

    But 21/22 is too young to be getting married, IMO. Especially since you're still basically in college. That's ridiculous.

    Marry now, be divorced and cynical by 25.

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    • There is no reason to be in a hurry to the alter. Marriage is a serious commitment and should be made when both people are in a place to do so with a clear mind and absolute certainty. Nothing is gained by putting pressure on the subject other than a certain divorce later. Give it time, enjoy each other, and grow together. If it's meant to be, it will all be so much clearer when the time is right.

    • Do you agree with what the first person said? If you have sex before marriage it will basically cause a divorce later? Me and my boyfriend do have sex now. Do you think this will mess up things?

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