How many dates before becoming exclusive?

Guys or girls, how many dates before becoming exclusive or a couple?

Is it OK for a girl to ask to be exclusive?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The 'let's get a drink' or whatever kind of dates don't count in the count, but usually on a 1st real date if I really like her I'll quasi-joke 'you seeing anyone else this weekend' or something like that. Sorry, but I like to know that a girl I like isn't playing the field, and reciprocates some affection, etc. I don't ask that if we're not into each other and clicking, of course. I also don't say "are we exclusive", I'll ask about her but throw out there that "I like you, I think you're [insert nice adjective], and I want to see you again -or- and I'm not seeing anyone else" and go from there.

    If the guy hasn't asked but you like him, yes, it's okay to ask. But you can try to be subtle about it somehow, maybe as I mentioned... less awkward than "are we exclusive".

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What Guys Said 3

  • If it's an actual date, I consider exclusive on the first one. If I find out a girl is dating another guy while dating me, regardless of how many dates we've been on, she's getting kicked to the curb. I don't date multiple girls and I never will.

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  • 2-3. No it's not ok. It shows that you're possessive.

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  • It should be when one of you consent to making it official

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What Girls Said 6

  • This is an awesome question! I have always wondered this as well.

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    • I really don't know what to do, if be didn't want sex I wouldn't be so bothered but I don't want to sleep with him if he doesn't want a relationship but if I tell him it's basically saying I want to go out with you even though I met you a week ago!

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    • I've been speaking to him since may, we had our first date on Friday, a week ago and met three times since then. Yeah I guess your right, if he's still going on the dating website and not telling me he wants to be exclusive maybe I should do the same?

    • Since you met online, it is most likely you are not his only suitor. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, as they say. Continue seeing other people until he asks you if you are and brings up the topic of being exclusive. If you prefer dating one person at a time, then you need to just relax and enjoy getting to know each other.

  • You're not exclusive unless you agree to be together, period. And yes, it's okay for you to ask.

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  • There isn't a rule about it and in my opinion the guy is the one who has to ask to be exclusive

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  • For some it's 4 dates... Others 10 dates.

    It's doesn't matter. Only when two people are ready to take it to the next level.

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  • I don't think its set in stone how many dates, and maybe you should try to talk to him about it

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  • I would let him ask you, because guys usually don't want to be pressured into something if they are not ready for it. It can also be emasculating.

    I would say after a couple of weeks through a month would be appropriate for him to ask you, depending on how much you see one another. It all depends if you see him nearly every day vs. once or twice a week. By 2-4 weeks, he should know whether or not he wants to be in a relationship with you and not someone else.

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