Why do you have to dumb yourself down to be attractive to girls nowadays?

I have never had much luck or experience with girls growing up. I grew up the firstborn in the family and my family always frequented church when I was young, and it was a very strict church community. However I still went to a public school and this proved to all be a disaster for me growing up. I never really fit in, I had friends, but we never got close enough where we'd do things outside of school. It was like kids knew I wasn't like most kids growing up around me and I was never invited to parties and I looked down on kids that smoked weed and cigarettes, did drugs and drank underage, even though I was never really vocal about it, I still did.

The older I get, the more I realize how many kids do that stuff, including girls and how girls are always going out with guys like that, guys that really lack a reformed sense of self.

Recently, I signed up for an online dating site just to check it out and all of the hot girls on there aren't even looking for anything serious, they just want to date and fool around, but they're not looking for a guy like me.

It's so very disheartening. Why do you have to dumb yourself down these days to even get attention or dates from good looking girls? All I have ever tried to do is put on my best face and attitude for everyone and be a positive person. I can tell you, it doesn't work.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree. You really have to abandon your brain to get with a lot of these chicks...

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What Girls Said 8

  • First, I don't recommend online dating. Those girls are more or less window shopping.

    Second, you really don't have to dumb yourself down. If you do, then the girl in question probably isn't your type anyways. And let me tell you, there's a guy in my group of friends who is practically a genius. And seriously, every girl in our group has lusted after him at some point.

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    • Yeah but he probably has six pack abs and works out every day right?

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    • What makes it perfect?

    • It's pretty much everything girls look for in a boyfriend. He's intelligent, does very well in school, very friendly and kind to people, he's hilarious and has a unique sense of humor, he's generally soft spoken but by no means shy... he's confident and lots of fun to take to parties or clubbing even though he never gets drunk.

      In short, he's very easy to spend lots of time with without getting bored or annoyed.

  • A guy doesn't have to dumb himself down or smoke and drink to get my attention. Although I smoke weed and cigarettes on occasion. I'd feel uncomfortable being with a guy who looked down on me for it. It doesn't make me dumb, I got into Cambridge university, so maybe you should learn about people before you judge them:)

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    • I have changed a lot since those earlier days I described. I drink now on occasion and am not nearly as judgmental about weed, I even took my first hit of hookah a few days ago, which at one time I even swore that I'd never do. lol

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    • Because it means you're becoming more open to new experiences. You'll meet New different types of people and that includes girls

    • I just want a girl that is classy and beautiful. I have a really hard time finding them though.

  • No. I wouldn't date an idiot. I'm attracted to intelligence. If you want to date some blond bombshell who doesn't know how to spell then yeah, you're going to have to make yourself seem equally dumb.

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  • None of what you described is dumbing down for anyone

    Chances are, girls similar to you are bad looking. And you're bad looking yourself, as are guys similar to you. So of course the good looking girls would rather be with someone on their level...and someone they share similar lifestyles with

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  • personally, I wouldn't date and idiot and my firneds won't either.

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  • in what world do you live in? I don't like stupid guys

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  • Not all girls are like that, but I have to admit that a lot of girls fall for a brainless macho bad guy. I have to say that I fall for hat myself. I end up in bed with some random "cool" guy (mostly just a disrespectful a**hole), for some reason I'm too naive at the moment itself to see how he really is, we f***, the morning after I feel bad, after a while it happens again. I think a lot of us girls are just following an example of how you should be into guys who have a lot of self esteem and often they're just a**holes. Guess we naive girls pay the price by feeling bad afterward but actually the bad guys who get the girls should get punished as well instead of getting what the want. Not sure how to take care of that...

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    • Could you still fall for a guy that wasn't in top physical shape but was more sensitive and intellectual though?

  • You can start by going for girls actually in your league, aka: ugly chicks. You are NOT entitled to a beautiful woman.

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    • Who ever said that I was? I can do better than an ugly chick though I have no doubt.

    • You and the coward who says girls aren't as smart should get a room together.

What Guys Said 1

  • I refuse to dumb myself down in order to get them.

    You know what I usually say (in my head)? I tell myself "Get on my level. If you don't like it, stop wasting my time."

    I do maintain a sense of style, take care of myself.

    Right now all I really want to get my Associate's, then Bachelor's Degree in Nursing (while working part-time), and go straight to Graduate school to get a Master's and or a DNP (Doctor of Nursing Practice) to be a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA).

    Stick with what you believe in. You'd be surprised how many girls out there have a lot in common with you (beauty and brains).

    Some of the guys that got invited to parties in high school that are now in college CAN'T even figure out what they want to do in life / undecided.

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