Why are girls on dating sites so stupid?

I'm probably one of the better looking guys on a dating site... VERY easily. Yet I've sent out probably 30 emails and only got a couple replies back. What the hell is wrong with my profile? Do girls nit pick at everything when it comes to dating websites?

Updates:
For my main picture I am wearing a muscle shirt... Is that a bad idea? I wonder if I appear douchey.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Without seeing your profile it is hard to say. There are several times more men than women on those sites so a guy has a lot of competition. Women on dating sites are known for their unrealistic standards in guys, so a lot of guys feel your frustration. It could be that you need work on the wording of your emails that you are sending out.

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    • @update. I don't think a muscle shirt was a good idea. I think a lot of women believe that self absorbed guys use those kinds of pics. Maybe a picture where you are doing something fun on vacation? That way it gives them a glimpse into your personality, so they can see the depth of your character.

    • Ok thanks for the good update

What Girls Said 8

  • Can't read your profile but IDK.

    I know on sites like Okcupid, there are personality matches. The sight has you answer personal questions about your beliefs. If you show that you're homophobic, racists, exist, est. You may appear as less attractive.

    Online dating is a cesspool. So many men and women whining and B*tching about how crazy/unstable/evil or users the opposite sex are. Everyone acting high and mighty as if they're a million dollar check.

    Rant aside, you've got to have more to offer than looks and money. Most homicidal maniacs are good looking. What else do you have to offer? Allot of women have their own money and can look at pretty men online. Partnership takes more than looks.

    Are you emotionally available? Are you empathetic? Do you enjoy having conversations?

    "I'm good looking/I have a profile" doesn't mean women are going to find you attractive.

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  • It all really depends on what you say. Girls on dating sites do nitpick everything. It's their way of staying safe and getting to know you. If you aren't telling them something interesting that they would want to hear then they won't consider you. Likewise if you tell them something they want to hear but it isn't believable then they will cast you aside as a liar.

    What you should really do is send and opening email telling them a little about you and tell them what attracted you to them. Include an invitation to look at your profile and tell them that you hope to ear from them soon.

    You might not be showing enough interest for them to respond. Girls are tricky and over analyze most things. If they aren't responding then maybe you should change your approach and try to seem more approachable because its important that they feel like they can talk to you.

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  • If you were to ask 30 women out in person, how many of them would agree to go on a date with you or give you their phone number?

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    • Unfortunately that's not a good comparison. Online dating and real life dating, especially for men, are two completely different games.

    • Well, I guess what I'm getting at is this:

      1. If he's getting a similar (or greater) response rate online compared to in person, then he's doing well. Why would he assume that women would be less picky online compared to in person?

      2. If he has greater success in person compared to online, then maybe he should just not bother with online dating.

  • yes, a muscle shirt is not something I go for

    even if you think you are attractive it doesn't mean other girls will like you back

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  • girls aren't stupid just because they don't reply to you. I wouldn't think a muscle shirt is a good idea ever.

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  • they arent, they are just trying to see what they like and what they don't like

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  • That's what happens on Free dating sites

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  • Your approach and your profile are pretty key when using dating sites. Because that's all they have to go on at first. So if your profile makes you come across as a jerk, or stupid, or boring, they probably won't bother responding.

    And if your message is lame or egotistical, they won't bother then either.

    The thing about online dating is: there are SO many choices right at your fingertips. If they're not responding to you, it could mean they have someone else in mind.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Your opening message is the most important aspect if you're the one trying to contact them. You need to amaze them. Attractive women on dating sites get dozens of messages each day. Most are deleted without any real consideration. 80% of the women you message probably never even take the time to look at your profile.

    That and most users on online dating sites are inactive. Dating sites never delete old profiles unless the users themselves delete the profile in order to maintain the appearance of a large pool of choices.

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    • I usually just say "Hi we should talk" blah blah throw in some BS question about something in their profile. What am I doing wrong? What should I type?

    • You're boring, predictable, uncomplicated; devote of any interesting personality.

      I'm not going to feed you lines but I'll give you some insight...

      It's not about saying something meaningful or thoughtful... its about getting her attention and doing it in a single sentence.

      p.s. okay I'll give you one example... THE PENGUINS ARE COMING! THE PENGUINS ARE COMING!

  • You're not gonna get with girls if you're self-absorbed and rude to the opposite sex.

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  • We can't tell you what is wrong with your profile when you're not showing it to us. But if your going anon there too, girls may be getting worried that you have something to hide.

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  • Maybe because you're delusional. From the way you placed your question, you don't sound like a person that is easily approachable, you sound narcissistic and whiny. So go figure

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  • You're competing against all the other confident guys, plus all the shy guys who use dating sites instead of approaching girls in real life. Even average looking girls get bombarded with messages.

    If you're a guy, it's very difficult to be successful at online dating. You have a better chance of getting a hot girlfriend/hook-up in real life than getting an ugly girlfriend/hook-up off a dating site. In real life, I get frequent (unprompted) compliments from many girls. I also have a great education, a great job and many interests. I get many dates from approaching girls in real life. The time I spent try to date online was, by contrast, a total failure.

    I would say, you might as well stop. But, if the site's free and if you're spending only 5 minutes now and again sending messages, then keep going if you want.

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    • And bear in mind, with online dating, you're lacking the one thing that makes the difference between failure and success in real life: the confident and charming approach. A confident and charming approach mesmerizes women in the same way that boobs and butt mesmerize men.

  • Why are you just limiting it to dating sites? I thought all girls were stupid.

    Also, not to kill your ego but if you're a good looking guy on a dating site, it's like being the smartest person with downs syndrome. I mean if you're sending out 30 emails a day and getting none back, you can't be THAT good looking or as good looking as you think you are. I can get chicks in person, don't require the internet for that but keep on truckin' champ.

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    • I think it's easier to get chicks in person.

  • They are holding out for the guys that put up model pics thinking they are real and actually want them.

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