Is it Wrong to have male text buddies when married?

Like men that I don't personally know? My husband works a lot he is a stagehand for a production company on the weekends and is working at a convenient store so he's gone a lot so doesn't mind it at all because he knows how bored and lonely I get but a girl friend of mine is making a huge deal about it to the point she told a mutual friend she thinks I'm cheating. I am not, could not and would not. The only reason my text buddys are men is because right there! a lot of the girls out here are fake and stuck up gossip queens. Yeah I can be a flirt but only slightly and am always classy. I don't send dirty naked or barley dressed pictures we just chat and tell stories and be dorky.I love talking to new people and hearing their thought opinions and story... I don't think that's bad of me...what's your opinion?

Updates:
Seems like A LOT of you have trust issues. Let me clarify a couple things. I am a Mother 24/7 I am not like a lot of mothers my age that dump my kid on someone else, I am also a on call Nurse and have 3 clients I take care of and have the luxurary of being able to take my child with me I have not and would never cheat on my husband, I believe in the sanctity of marriage and love him with all my heart and soul. I asked for Opinions not judgments and accusations.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Of the three mentioned, only your husband is on planet Earth - he trusts you and only wants the best for you, so you have free rein to have idle hands = the devil's workshop. Privileged with free time to play with fire and feeling superior to 90% that will eventually fall into temptation. That said, I DO believe you are of the 10% deeply in love with hubby & can have many guy friends w/o cheating ... some of these guys won't "get it" mentally or physically.

    So your friend is wrong but revealed SHE would easily fall into temptation AND has a bit of jealousy over your loose rein AND maybe some hidden fear you're going to move in on some of her hunting acreage.

    I must say your solution to killing time, waiting for work bound hubby time alone really is a dead end. Regardless that he may prefer you not working so much, getting a job yourself IS the better solution to chatting guys: 1) you have turned free time into money, self-respect and contribution to the world that comes in handy during any tough times ahead; 2) you allow hubby to cut back on work so he can spend more tet-a-tet time with you = better than other guys, that's why you chose him!

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What Guys Said 14

  • "My husband works a lot he is a stagehand for a production company on the weekends and is working at a convenient store so he's gone a lot so doesn't mind it at all [...]"

    That is your answer, miss. You have a social contract with your husband, not with this other girl. She has no business objecting to the contracts you and your husband make with each-other.

    If she thinks your only possible motivation for wanting to text chat men other than your husband is to have sex with them, I'd say that is telling of her character, and you might should confront her and tell her this if she doesn't stop spreading false rumors about you.

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  • If you are OK with telling your husband you are talking with a male friend and showing him the conversation then you're OK. Your husband should know about your friends and that you are texting them. If that makes you uncomfortable than it needs to stop.

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  • I think it depends on what you're getting from them. If you're talking to other guys in order to supplement the attention you're not receiving from your husband... that's going to end up in mayhem.

    It's a fine line to walk in all honesty but one that shouldn't lean one way or another. As people we seek connections but through connections we jeopardize our obligation and duty as a husband or wife.

    You've made a commitment to one person. That goes against human nature.

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  • if your husband is OK with it then its fine..he trusts you. It's great that your husband is a rational and non-jealous type!

    Besides...you're just talking to them...it's not like you're cheating on him! It's just friends...geez...girls..making a big deal over nothing...lol

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  • you are on your way to cheat your hubby and your girl friend sensed it being a girl. your husband is working day and night including weak ends to secure your and your children's future. Yes it's your responsibility to flirt with guys on the internet. if you are so bored why don't you go and help your hubby or find a job and earn some money. I have seen lot of hard working guys' wife cheating on them. I wish I don't get a wife like that. I chose not to get married all my life than having a cheating wife.

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  • Case and point is as long as you don't f*** another guy you're fine. There's nothing wrong with friends there is something wrong with cheating.

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  • i think it's up to the way you talk with these male-buddies. if you flirt with them and if you deep inside have some tingles about these guys or if they flirt with you and you let them to do that, then I'd say it's not proper... cheating or not it's up to your and your husband's point of view...

    the only person who can answer this question is you and your man. just be honest with yourself and ofcourse fair :)

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  • You're trying to convince yourself its alright

    If your husband flirtted with every pretty girl that wanted to buy beer wouldn't you get upset?

    Wouldn't ya get upset if he got a hold of Some numbers and then started being flirty over text?

    Something tells me you wouldn't like it.

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    • Nah, I'm seeking others opinions wondering if this chick is just a psychopath. I'm very secure in my relationship if I wasn't I wouldn't have married him lol Thank you tho :D

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    • Lol you don't know her ;) lol

    • Well based on info given I don't think so.

  • I don't think it's wrong to have online friends of the opposite gender.

    reading your post reminded me of what a few girls on GaG said before. they have more male friends than femail ones because they don't like the drama.

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  • I think your just horny, sorry being blunt but square with truth

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    • And to be blunt you sir are an idiot

  • Depends on the texts contain.

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  • I bet you sent him some dirty pics though, maybe just one lol

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  • So long as they are only text buddies, and not your future affair on hold for the moment, a d*** waiting behind glass to be broken in the event that you have a fight with your husband.

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  • Nothing wrong with it as long as your husbands cool with it.

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What Girls Said 8

  • I think what's confusing her is that you prefer to speak with men only, when, if you're looking for company or entertainment, a woman wouldn't be any different from a man.

    And, yeah, I heard that most women in your area are stuck up and blah, blah - but you don't personally know the men you're texting. They, too, could be all of the above if they weren't talking to an attractive woman.

    Regardless, I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing, especially if your husband's cool with it.

    I think you're friend's problem is less about her caring how you're "treating" your husband and more about you "admitting" to doing something wrong. She's looking to judge you.

    I've been married for 12 years. I like to flirt with other men, although the first thing I say is "I'm married". It's harmless.

    Just don't ask me if I allow my husband to flirt - with him it's "a don't ask, don't tell" policy.

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    • Finally someone that understands! I'm starting to think people don't get anything about relationships communication and trust now days! Lol thank you

  • Text no, sex yes. Your doing nothing wrong.

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  • AS long as anything shady isn't going on.

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  • You're stating you're lonely. Lonely women cheat

    It's wrong

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    • Lonely as in bored. Not emotionally or physically lonely.

    • Oh alright. Jus be careful!

    • Maybe you should find a job or do something to help your husband out financially. Go learn something. Looks like you have way too much time on your hands.

  • Maybe you should find a job or do something to help your husband out financially. Go learn something. Looks like you have way too much time on your hands.

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    • Ahahahaha I work from home with in home nursing and take care of our daughter. Try again troll.

  • if you are flirty then I say its cheating, if not then its normal. but you should always be honest with your husband.

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  • Do you think it would be wrong for your husband to have a girl texting buddy?

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    • Exactly, that's the best answer!

      The question is not if it's "wrong or right" because it can be both harmful for your marriage but also not being a big deal if it doesn't get out of hand.

      Ask yourself if it'd be okay for you if he would go and have girl texting buddies. Don't do to others what you wouldn't want to be done to you.

  • obviously it is, would you want your husband to be texting a lot of girls?

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