I have been seeing a friend/colleague, he started flirting with me, was sending dirty text messages etc, we are both happily married, one night we sent a couple of dirty pictures and had phone sex I guess, the next day he freaked out and said we can not do that again etc, I was gutted because I had started to have feelings for him. We don't work directly together so I did not see him for a few weeks, then we started kissing and he would pleasure me, the first time he freaked out and said we had to stop, but then we did it several times, eventually he said we had to stop. I asked him why he wouldn't let me touch him, he said that if I started pleasuring him we would go past the point of no return. A few weeks later I pleasured him, once again he freaked out, very little contact then I did it again - no freak out... Then we were fooling around at work and he left abruptly, told me he can't see me without wanting to ravish me etc, he needs to learn to say no. Then a mutual friend of ours invites me over for a drink, says he is there with mystery married man, I go and he hints for me to sit next to him, touches me when our friend isn't watching. After a while he announces he has to go, I say so do I, its getting late. Then he texts me to meet up down the road, we get it on hot and heavy, we have never had sex. He keeps saying this will be the last time. We ended up having sex, I kept saying are you sure etc knowing he would freak out. He didn't, I have not text him, I want to give him some space. But what is going on with him? He won't tell me how he feels about me but I can see it in his eyes he cares. Why does he end it only to come back? Have we gone past the point of no return by having sex? Will he want to do it again? I have noticed the guilt and freaking out has become less and less the more things we do together.
Is it really over or will he be back?
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I am going thought the same thing right now. I am married and we have this married couple that we are friends with and go to church with( yes church lol) and the guy and I have been texting sometimes in the last year even though we have known each other a few years we started texting and usually it is just friendly convo a few times we talked about his job and and my hubby's job. Then a few weeks back I made the mistake of texting him for advice on something and we both ended up sharing a few secrets and he wanted to delete all our texts and keep it private and I was OK with that. He also told me I could text him whenever I needed to if I needed to vent or talk. Well fast forward a couple weeks later and I did and it turned a bit sexual. We started teasing each other and I told him to send a dirty text and he winked and told me to send one first and then I had to go back to work so my phone was off and when I texted him back he said that as much as he loves dirty texts we shouldn't do it cause we will get into too much trouble and that if I wanted to send him some dirty texts I could but he couldn't send any back I was thinking hell no. I told him no and that it takes two to play and he thanked me for offering to dirty text him. I really like him and thought he liked me too. I know he is afraid to get caught though. I have a feeling he had before. I agree you can't choose how you feel about someone it sucks. When in person too he looks at me a lot and "touches" me when it's not needed. Like hands touching hands and once when he was drunk he played footsie with me right in front of his wife and she got mad at him. Anyways the point is I am going through the same thing as you. I think this guy wants it with me he has let it go this far too but now that it is me upping the ante he is become g paranoid0