Am I allowed to hate him over this?

Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend, it's just this one thing that he does that makes me feel terrible and makes me kind of dislike him.

We used to text a lot until he got an iPad, which is when we started using Facebook and iMessage to communicate instead of texting. When I send him a message, he usually doesn't read it for hours, sometimes even a day or two. This used to make me really upset and I would end up crying because when he wasn't reading my messages, it seemed that everyone else was taking a lot longer to reply than usual, which made me think that everyone that was friends with me was just faking it and that no one really wanted to talk to me. I finally got over that and accepted the facts that he isn't usually with his iPad like I am and that he's a busy person.

So I got over that, but there's the times when he just doesn't respond to my messages at all (even after he's read them) until I send him a message like "a response would be nice" or something along those lines." I know that he most likely gets distracted and forgets to message me back, but it really hurts me and then I get really angry at him because I think he's ignoring me. I know he loves me and I know he'd never intentionally try to hurt me like this, but I just feel terrible until I see him next and he hugs me and makes me feel better.

So, first question, am I allowed to get angry at him for this?

Second, should I actually bring up how much it hurts me when he does these things? (I've never brought up when I've felt angry/sad/upset with him)

Third, if I say something to him, can it be through text or should I wait until I see him face-to-face?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • to all of these things...

    what are you whining about?

    hes not getting back to you and your constant badgering for attention. maybe he has other things in his life to do. eat...sleep...do some work...talk to people that arnt online...

    how is this even a big problem worth considering. jesus just have some f***ing patience

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What Guys Said 3

  • Why is there never a timeline for time sensitive questions and always a timeline for questions that aren't time sensitive?

    No matter.

    1. No.

    2. Yes.

    3. Doesn't matter.

    #1 was yes but became no because of the fact that you never told him to begin with. So in essence this is your fault via refusal to express yourself. It's rude on his part, no doubt, but you didn't call him on it so he probably just thought it was okay. That makes you both fools.

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    • I do agree that I should have brought this up sooner, but I'm such a massive pessimist that I thought as soon as I brought it up, he would say that he didn't want to be with me. I know it's stupid, but like I said, I'm a pessimist. I know now that it's stupid, and anyone that liked someone would never do that to them.

    • Which is fine. You learn and grow. The thing is if you don't bring these things up to people usually they don't change. Also people handle all kinds of things better than you would think. It's all about approach; if you come storming with tears on your face screaming at the top of your lungs then yeah, he might be like "WOAH PSYKOTIQ" but otherwise he'll just hear you out like any other human being. Not that Pessimism is a bad thing, but do try to move a bit more to the realistic side.

  • 1 yess you got every right to get angry at him

    2 I believe the two of you should talk in person tell him how you feel about it and trust me if he really loves you he will find a way to solve this ! I had a similar problem with my girl sometimes people are just busy they don't intend to ignore you

    3 my advice is that the two of you need to spend more quality time together texting , chatting or any means that doesn't involve direct contact never works and u'll end up fighting all the time

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    • I ended up telling him that it hurt me because I decided that if I didn't do it now, I'd probably never do it. He said he was really sorry and that his step mum's wifi wasn't working so the message couldn't send. He said he should have tried harder because he loves me and that's just what he should do. We do get to have a lot of face-to-face time together because we go to school together. Best thing is, we hardly fight! Thanks for the advice though, very helpful :)

    • you're welcome ! wish you both luck ! :)

  • Yes, you're allowed.

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What Girls Said 4

  • yes, you are

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  • 1.- somewhat

    2.- of course.

    3.- face to face

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  • yes you are, you should bring it up, and it should be face to face

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  • I wouldn't text him anymore until he realizes his problem by himself.

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