He is a pig. Should I still date him?

I am currently dating this cool guy, we've been a little off and on for the past 6 months.

Anyway, this past weekend, I told him that I was coming over. So I went over there and his house was FILTHY! I started to have second thoughts... His daughter's room was so unsanitary. How can someone live like that? He smokes a LOT of weed and the bathroom reeked. I also saw an old box of MIDOL openly displayed in the bathroom's medicine cabinet.

I was a little disappointed, and if he and I plan to get serious in the future, I don't want to be tired all of the time from cleaning up behind him, his friends, and daughter.

Should I continue to date him?

Note: He always text, and never calls.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol, I like your note about he never calling =D

    I'm guessing the Midol is for his daughter? And are both of them on weed? Not sure about you, but that alone would be a deal breaker for me.

    You don't sound very charmed either. Not only do they live like this (which shows their values and personalities), didn't even bother to clean up a bit upon knowing you would stop by. Like you're guessing, that would be your job, and they would probably complain about it too.

    Unless you're really, really, really into him and you get along perfectly in every other regard, I would consider finding myself a new boyfriend.

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    • Also agree with Levin's comment below.

      Thanks for BA =)

    • You get an uprate for agreeing with me. and of course, writing a good answer :)

What Guys Said 6

  • I love the title of this question. It's a classic and should be listed somewhere in the category 'All time favorite Gag questions.'

    But I digress.

    It doesn't sound like he's used to being a parent. His ex of course did all the housework, right? And took care of the daughter, no doubt.

    Maybe that's why they split up? Just guessing!

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  • If I step into someone's house or room, and I am *repulsed*, the last thing I would want thereafter would be to be intimate with them. Anyone can be a bit messy or let things get on top of them, but yeah, that's not a good sign. To each their own, but basic personal hygiene is one of my few deal breakers. Destructive lifestyles have a way of embroiling partners into their mesh.

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  • What is unsanitary about his living conditions? Your description is very general and we don't really have any basis for comparison. The only specifics you shared were that he smokes weed, the bathroom stinks, and you went snooping through his medicine cabinet.

    I can understand someone taking issue with the weed smoking, especially if he has a daughter that lives with him. The bathroom is a place that needs constant maintenance and any self respecting adult should know that it really determines whether or not ANY guess feels comfortable at their place (particularly a woman). As far as the MIDOL though, shame on you. You know damn well that you were snooping... and what a flaccid piece of evidence too: midol, lol. Did it ever occur to you that he might've dated a woman before you? Obviously if he doesn't keep his place very clean, then it's not very often that he's going through everything and throwing things out that he doesn't need anymore.

    All that said though, tell him you have to be honest with him and that his place really grossed you out. He needs to know that you're not going to feel comfortable coming over if you have to constantly step over dirty laundry, navigate around a mountain of dirty dishes, and hold your breath when you need to use the bathroom. Don't be mean about it, but let him know that you're serious. Give him the opportunity to show you he can make his place presentable.

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  • Generally when you get into a relationship, you shouldn't be all about trying to change someone for the better. It's nice and all but it hardly works. Usually it just pushes the other person away. Unless you can live with them as is, then you should not even be entertaining the idea of dating him in my opinion.

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  • Sounds like you got a slob on your hands. I think you two should have a talk. Remember, a key to relationships is communication. You shouldn't have to pick up after him, it's his place, he should it. I got my own place, I clean it. Why should I relie on anyone else to?

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  • if you like him

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What Girls Said 8

  • I'm sure if you two establish a meaningful relationship you can work something out.

    And learn to live together, and learn to compromise.

    And keep the home in an orderly fashion.

    If he's great in every other aspect then I don't see why you should hold this against him.

    No ones perfect, we all have qualities that aren't great.

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  • Honestly, I wouldn't because I'm generally a pretty clean and neat person myself. His house sounds gross, and it sounds like he doesn't even take care of his child. Those two combined would be deal breakers for me.

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  • smoking weed with his daughter in the house? wow

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  • no way

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  • no, you shouldnt

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  • no, he doenst have his life together.

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  • If you can talk this badly about him then you don't deserve to be with him. And also you don't sound like you want to be with him that takes you back to the first sentence. Lastly if you think you are going to be a maid/ slave why would you even ask this question!

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  • no, you shouldn't keep on it if the guy shows so little lack of responsibility

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