Would you date a single mother?

If you're a mother, you might be offended, but I honestly wouldn't no matter how good the woman is or how good looking she is, a child is a deal-breaker for me and I don't like kids at all. I don't want children at all, why would I want to date a woman who has a child who will most likely not listen to me because "You're not my daddy!" Too much drama. Would you date a single mother

  • Yes
    58% (11)26% (10)37% (21)Vote
  • No
    42% (8)74% (28)63% (36)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm a single mom and I'm not offended. I can see why you would feel that way, it's legit. And if you don't like kids, then of course you wouldn't want to be around them. Make sense to me. At least you know this about yourself and accept it. It's a hell of a lot better than getting into a relationship with a woman- and her kid(s)- and then finding out you don't really care for it.

    And how's this for f***ed up: I'm not all that crazy about the thought of dating a man with kids! I have done it before and it was a total nightmare. I like *my* kid, but most of the other kids I know sort of suck. They are whiny, entitled, spoiled, and demanding and they don't have any manners. Also, I'm really good to go with just the one I have. I don't want any more kids- if I wanted more I would have birthed more myself. Not to mention that my child is used to being an ONLY child- like I am, like my mother is. I know I wouldn't have taken too kindly to having another kid forced into my face, and I am certain mine wouldn't like it any better than I would have.

    That being said, I can and do still date. I have joint custody with my ex-husband which means I get her for a week at a time, and then we switch. In the years since my divorce, I have brought only one guy around my daughter. I don't plan on doing it again any time soon.

    Anyway, if it's "offensive" that you don't want to date a woman with kids, then I imagine I must be extra-uber-offensive. (I'm okay with that.)

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    • I've met women who are automatically offended when a man says this.

    • Show All
    • No, I think I covered that. I am talking about people who get offended at the idea that you wouldn't want to date a single mom. You're well within your rights- anyone who doesn't like it can pretty much f*** right off.

    • Thank you for saying that. It's like you're the only single mom who doesn't get offended at that.

What Girls Said 10

  • I love kids but I wouldn't date a single father. As a Christian who's waiting until marriage for sex, I feel it's just safe to assume that a man who had a baby out of wedlock doesn't share my values. If he was married when he had the kids, then why on earth is he already divorced at my age?

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  • I'm a single mother. I understand when a guy isn't interested in a single mother, kids are a lot of work and require a lot of time and attention. I admire guys that are up for that. And, I've seen a lot of guys that are "that's a deal break"-ers, change their mind for the right single mom. What does offend me, I guess, or tick me off, is when single dads won't. Awfully hypocritical.

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  • I know this question is for men but I guess I can put in my two cents and give you a female perspective?

    I can picture myself dating someone with a kid. But at the end of it all, it would just depend on the situation and how much I want the guy to be part of my life. However, dating a guy with a kid would have to be an extreme exception for me. If I were to really accept a man with a kid, I must really be into him.

    The only time it would be harder to date someone with a child would be when or if there's mama drama or if the guy is in no condition to take care of his child to begin with (financially and/or emotionally). That would be too much for me.

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  • From a female perspective I would date a single dad if he can be a good husband and father. However, he is a single father so I would question why he got divorce.

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  • From a female point of view I would never date a guy who has kids he can be good looking have a great job hey he could be the greatest man to walk this earth but for the fact he has kids I will never date them baby momma drama.

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  • It depends

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  • my friends wouldnt

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  • b, I wouldn't date that much unless my kids are older.

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  • I wouldn't date a single father. They aren't my kids and I'm not putting up with his child's mother or child support payments. So I would not date a single father

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  • I agree, dating is already too hard to add kids into the mix. I would never date a guy with a kid, not only because of the added drama but also because I wouldn't want to be with somebody who has already experienced parenthood without me

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What Guys Said 13

  • I'd date someone with children and I have before but nothing serious. My previous ex was 10years older then me with three kids. She was an awesome girl but her obligations were else where, as they should be.

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    • Three Kids? How did you not go crazy?

    • We didn't live together and we would go out as often as stay in. All in all I wasn't very involved in the kids life. They knew who I was but they were all at an age where they could be told "this is mommies friend" and that would suffice. They were 3,4, and 7.

      They were good kids but I'm not ready to give up living for myself just yet. She knew how I felt and we went with it until it hurt her more then comforted her that I was around only in a limited capacity.

  • I would date a single mom.

    I mean, it wouldn't be my ideal, but life isn't my ideal either.

    One way to think about it is, "why the f*** am I using my financial resources and time to help raise the child of another man?" That's the reptilian brain speaking lol. But, another way to think about it is, "this child is part of her. I'm helping her by making her life easier, by being the guy her man wasn't."

    I mean, absent some outrageously negative circumstances that made her a single mom (e.g., she caused herself to become pregnant without the consent of her man, and despite him asking her to abort the child, she kept the child anyway), this child is part of this woman's life. If I like her as a person, I'm not going to like her less just because she's has a child or because she's a mother.

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  • its not breaker but I won't pick them over someone else who is single. kids require a lot of time and that's time you don't have alone with her. Want to go anywhere with her kid(s)? That place you wanted to go will get cut short because kids get tired and cranky then its back home. I know this because I dated one who had a kid and I have baby sat before and my aunt and uncle have three and I went to visit them in vegas and boy most of the time we were at home cause their girls got tired and had to be put to bed. it sucks and that's why I wont. plus its baggage from another relationship you will usually see the baby daddy and their is so much drama with baby daddys/mommas its not even funny. a lot of single moms have kids and are single for a reason. sometimes they don't even know who the daddy is...

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  • As obvious as this is there are a lot of men out there who don’t understand that single mothers are damaged women that make terrible significant others so let me sum this up as succinctly as possible: a single mother wants nothing more than to trap a beta to provide for her children so she doesn’t have to. Single mothers are at the bottom of the totem pole as far as LTR material goes but they do make excellent pussy pals if you know what you’re doing. Her mission in life is to lock down a beta provider for her young at all costs. This makes gaming them is child’s play and they will often treat you much better than their younger, hotter, childless competition. As long as you understand what they really want out of you and treat them accordingly, you’ll have no shortage of these venturesome vixens willing to suck the life out of you for a chance at that social and financial security they so richly deserve. Men here know there are countless reasons dating a single mother is a terrible idea. Any man who unwittingly wanders into the clutches of one of these harpies is doomed from the start. Once she has her talons in him he’s stuck raising another man’s offspring and before he knows it, she’s off looking for an alpha fux (her ex in a lot of cases) to compliment her beta bux. A no win situation for the poor sap.

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  • Highly doubtful. I mean, one I'd question why they are a single mother around my age and the other bigger reason is that I don't see a relationship really working out when she has to focus a lot on her child. How can she hope to have a truly strong relationship that takes a lot of time and effort to get going when she has to not only take care of her kid which takes a BUTT LOAD of time too, but also work. That's why it's generally a bad idea to even have a kid until you have a real strong relationship. Because it's hard to really have a strong relationship get going after you have a kid since kids take so much time.

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  • I voted A, I'm in my mid-late 20s (age 27), so a female my age having a kid is more common.

    Her having a kid is a lot more to weigh out and consider, but I wouldn't automatically disqualify a single mother automatically like that QA would.

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  • Are you serious? What the kids will think about you,especially if they are small?

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  • Gets a bit complicated kina! Yes I would but this gives me a chance to see how she treats her kids but yes I love kids

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  • As long as the kid isn't a brat and, if s/he is, I don't have to put up with it. If I'm expected to take care of a spoiled child then nope, not a chance.

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  • No I would not because my biggest fear is her not wanting anymore kids

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  • Only a widow.

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  • I made that mistake once. Won't do it again.

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  • No, I wouldn't.

    I don't want the hassle of looking after kids at the moment.

    And Differing times of availability can be tough enough without adding kids to the mix.

    And kids can be very imrpessionable. It seems likely that either they'd hate me or they'd grow attached to me. Either way, that's not an effect that I would want to have on them.

    Also, long term, I don't like the idea of raising kids who aren't mine.

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    • I'm the same way, If I have kids (I doubt it) I want to raise my own.

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