Is it a good idea NEVER to initiate a call/text with a guy you are dating?

wondering what people think- I'm seeing a guy who has done ALL the initiatiating. Of course I do call or text him back and make sure to be friendly and sound interested, and so far its going pretty good with this method. But I'm wondering what goes on in a mans mind when you encounter a woman like this? Does it make you miss her or make you wonder why she doesn't initiate any calls?


0|0
7|6

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't just "wonder" why she doesn't initiate calls. I mean, how the f*** you I know why she doesn't initiate calls? The only thing I do, the only thing I can do, is to assume that she's not "as interested" in me "as I am" in her.

    The proxy I use for how interested someone is, is the quality of effort they make in trying to either express their interest or give their affection to the other person. If I conclude that she's not that interested in me, and she turns around and yells, "but wait! I sent you smoke signals! SMOKE SIGNALS! At 4 o'clock in the morning. It's not like I waited until 5am. What do you mean I made no effort?" I can comfortably turn around and point back to the word "QUALITY."

    If this is what our whole relationship is going to be like, I better abandon ship or get off the train at the next stop, instead of stick around for that wonderful journey between now and Break-Up Central.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 5

  • It is NEVER a good idea NEVER to initiate a call/text with a guy you are dating.

    0|0
    0|0
  • After a while he may start to think that you're just not interested and leave you

    That's the most basic way how to measure the interest of a girl, so if you purposefully avoid initiating contact or avoid showing your interest - it can backfire!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I prefer a girl doing some of the initiating if nothing else to make sure she's still interested.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, it's not a good idea.

    0|1
    0|0
  • If a girl NEVER initiates, I'd assume she's not very interested in me. After a while of this, I'd probably dump her.

    0|0
    0|0
    • well, he really doesn't give me the chance to call, because he usually calls me every other day. Do you think I should be calling him inbetween those times? That would be almost every day and I think a guy would get tired of that?

    • Oh, OK. Well, if he's calling every day, he doesn't give you the chance. So don't worry about it.

    • Sorry I misread that. If he's calling you every other day, you can make the call once in a while. Or when you think he's going to call, you can beat him to it.

What Girls Said 7

  • If you never do that, then it will show the guy that

    either

    -he is more interested in you than you are him.

    or

    -you do not like him at all, despite what you may be telling him.

    If you don't want to give mixed signals, I suggest

    you start calling/texting him too.

    If you show that you are putting in an effort has well to

    speak with him, he won't be confused about anything.

    Remember,

    "Actions speak louder than words."

    0|0
    0|0
  • you got to initiate SOME TIMES or he'll think you're not that interested and that you're bothered by him or text him when you're bored or something. too hard to get will bore him eventually and he will find someone more emotionally expression...

    dont stalk him or anything, but every now and then shoot him a text first so he knows you're thinking about him

    0|0
    0|0
    • ok welll that's why I asked- so if he is calling/texting me about 3-4 times a week then we see each other on the weekends then when should I text him?

    • if he calls every other day, call on the day he DOESN'T call...so if he texts you one day..the next day, around like 8ish, assuming he hasn't text you yet, shoot him a text and ask him how his day went or call him..

      in short:

      on his 'off' day, don't text/call too early or too late (give him time enough that he can actually talk about his busy day, but he isn't tired yet)...around 7-8pm I'd say. I can't be anymore specific than that!

  • no, it isnt

    0|0
    0|0
  • no, initiate it but don't think about texting too muhc. they don't really think about it as girls do.

    0|0
    0|0
  • no, you have to initiate some

    0|0
    0|0
  • In the beginning it is OK to let him call the shots, but after awhile he's going to want you to start taking the initiative as well. Guys need to know they are wanted too.

    0|0
    0|0
    • how long is after awhile if you have had about 6 dates within a one month period?

  • You should initiate every once in a while. If he has to do all the work, he's going to wonder how interested you are after a while. I usually initiate about 40% of the time. Seems to be working out okay.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Adding a bit more, if you know he's going to call/text, beat him to it. In my case, my guy knows that I get off work at 5 so if he hasn't texted me by then and I haven't heard from him in 2 days, I'll text him and ask how his day is going. Or if he mentions something important is happening, I'll make a note and then ask him how it went later on. For example, his best friend's bachelor party was this weekend, I asked him how it went the next day.

Loading...