Should I wait till he texts me or should I just initiate? I don't like playing game but this is ridiculous

today, a guy and I had plans to get together and "mess around" a bit. we didn't really have a plan but the texts were implicit. anyways, days ago we said we'd discuss the time and place later but today is the day we decided to get together but we didn't decide where or what time...

now should I wait for him to text me about it or should I? the thing is, lately I've been starting texts and I was the one who said I was free later in the week. I just don't want to seem desperate for this hangout and I don't want him to come off as not wanting to if he doesn't text me...

ahh what should I do? I really think texting him would be bad on my part but what if he doesn't text me at all today about it? I really don't like mind games but if he's playing them, I gotta play along.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • it depends upon how much you really want to get together with him and how much you want to chase him. I think if he wanted to really get together he WILL text you. If he doesn't then he is lukewarm about it. IF it were me, As long as you made it perfectly clear that you wanted to see him then I wouldn't text him. It will make him wonder why you aren't doing the initiating anymore.

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    • hmm okay. well I think I made it pretty clear I wanna. and a few weeks earlier, he made it PERFECTLY clear, very clear... now he seems a bit lukewarm but he might have other things on his mind. if he doesn't text me at all, I assume he doesn't wanna get together or if he makes an excuse I can assume that too? what if he texts me asking why I didn't text him?

      thanks!

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    • well I texted him telling him I was free today and anyday after. that was days ago

    • Id text him with this- "Hi , are you up to hanging out today? :)

What Guys Said 6

  • Usually a guy will be doing all the work to organize a meet with a girl that is willing to fool around with him. Only thing I can think of is that he isn't really that interested in a meet up.

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    • aw really?

      like a week or 2 ago we was so excited and into it... I mean he was the one who suggested this. I told him we should hang out as friends and he was the one who was like "you know I'd be fun if we fooled around", he didn't outright say that, but he was so very clear that he wanted to, very clear. I had no doubt that this wasn't a hangout, but a hook up. now he's all cold about it? it's been like a week since he was enthusiastic about it.

  • Initiate, shows purpose. When I always have to initiate it gets repetitive, and somewhat irritating.

    if a girl texts me then usually she is not playing around and I can take her serious on what she wants.

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  • Text him but seem like a bit of a bitch if you don't want to seem desperate.

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  • Yeah I would say text him first...you have nothing to lose

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  • Why not just text him? We guys are expected to always text first, but it's an age of equality, so girls can pull some weight too, haha.

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  • just initiate.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Something similiar happened to me. A while back I was talking to a guy and we had planned to hang out the following weekend and well when that day came along I got ready and everything ready for the "date" and so I was there ready to go make up done and hair and he still hasn't texted me that day, so as the time approached I was like f this I'm gonna text him and ask him what's up with our "date" I texted him and asked if we were go an hang out and he said yes, so then what ever he picked me up and as we were driving he says "I didn't want to text you and ask you if we were gonna hang out, because I didn't want to seem desperate" -_- yup! So next time just text him and ask him, because chances are he is just like you over thinking everything! And not wanting to seem desperate.

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  • I'm probably going to get some negative comments for it but what the heck, I'll be genuine and honest: I NEVER initiate things until me and the guy are a definite "item". Why? because if things don't pan out the way I want them too, I take comfort in the fact I played it cool and didn't seem to eager, and it is also a way to see just how much he wants to be around me.

    Plus, let's be honest - it's always nicer to be the one who is being pursued. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you keep initiating, you'll never know how much he truly likes you.

    Wait for him to make the move. That's my advice.

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  • I definitely wouldn't text him. You will make yourself more "valuable" - and the one in power. In my experience, every time I initiate and he takes forever to respond, it drives me crazy. By waiting for his text, you will save yourself from a possible let-down. :) On top of that, you've already started texts. If he does text you today, you will also have confirmation that he likes you. :)

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  • If you want to get to the point and not play games, obviously initiate and tell him you're serious about meeting up.

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  • I was in a similar position I would initiate and it would turn out to be a fruitless effort so I decided to just let things go if he was interested we would have made an effort its been over a month now and he hasn't text phoned emailed or anything like that so I took a him he is just not interested you also need to take a hint if he wants you he will also make an effort 02

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  • I mean, since it's just to "mess around", I wouldn't text. I would suggest to wait for him to text. If it was an actual date, then yes I would say text. He might have just been playing around at the time.

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  • Just text him. You don't always have to wait for him to come to you.

    It's not a big deal to text him first, not at all. I find it so strange when people get hung up on who texts who first.

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  • just do it, text him.

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  • just text him

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  • well I would wait and play hard to get when he does text me.

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