Is it OK to text my ex bf?

He broke up with me about 3 months ago but I never really understood why. I tried to just forget about it and move on but lately it's really been bothering me and I don't think I can move on until I really know what happened with us. I would ask him in person if I had the chance but I don't know another time I'd get to see him so would it be bad to text him? I just want to be able to get closure


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He broke up with you 3 months ago, and hasn't talked to you since. That's your closure.

    If you had contacted him 3 days later, that would have been fine, but 3 months later? That's far too late. You aren't likely to get what you seek by contacting him, but you WILL succeed in further stirring up your feelings for him, and it will delay the time when you'll finally get over him.

    A LOT of people have a hard time understanding that it ultimately doesn't matter how much they want someone else, if that person doesn't want them back. You can't make someone like you, or change how they feel about you, all you can do is accept it. I realize you are looking for a specific reason from him, but again, you waited way too long to seek it, so now, you just need to quit looking backwards, and start looking forwards.

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What Guys Said 10

  • Sure; after 3 months, people aren't so emotional about what happened. He'll probably welcome the chance to put things in perspective now.

    It can be difficult to move one with unresolved issues from an earlier relationship. Getting closure is important. Don't delay any longer!

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  • Relationship never die completely. It remains some where in some conscious or subconscious always. There is nothing wrong in texting him and asking for the reason why or what was wrong? Be prepared for being hurt, you are now not with him and he has left you. He may say something you will not like and it may be a falls story, but you will be able to read his mind. Try it - there is nothing to loose - nothing wrong.

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  • TXTING suck! call him and ask everything that you would like to know.

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  • umm I think that requires a face to face sit down. words can be deceiving. in the book 'the 7 habits..' stephen said words only carry 6% of the meaning. voice carry 38% and the rest is body language and facial expression.

    you can't really tell if he lies through text but you certtainly will if he is face to face

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  • bringing up a crappy part of your life won't help with closure. the best way to get closure to move on with your life. who cares about why it happened or how or whatever. its done with.

    "Live well, it is the best revenge."

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  • Not that it should matter but humans are curious beings, is there no way for you to find out without asking?

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  • imo there's nothing wrong with seeking closure.

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  • No you shouldn't, but I have a feeling you're going to anyway.

    It's easier to get back together with someone who already knows you. Maybe he's horny and he'll reply.

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  • Age:Under 18

    Let her do what she wants guys, she'll learn from her mistakes.

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  • Shut your mouth around his d***

    There is your closure

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What Girls Said 8

  • Hey girl! I understand you want closure. If I were you I would send a email or a letter, just stating that you strictly want to know why you guys broke up, and that's it. I would include in the letter or email that you DON'T want a relationship and that you merely just want closure. If he is mature enough he will respond to you, and I hope he does. Otherwise, if he is immature and doesn't respond, then you will have to move on without an explanation, cause he wasn't mature enough to give you one. You can text, but I think it would be better if you emailed or wrote a letter cause if you have a lot to say he will psychologically think "Oh she's crazy!" When I know your not crazy, but that is how some guys react to things, and it is messed up. I am studying Psychology, and what I am being taught right now is how the male mind reacts to trauma/hurtful situations. That's why I think you should email/write a letter cause it's more professional, and more saying "I just want closure" than it is through texting. Hope I helped! Hope you get closure! :) *Hugs*

    Peace and Love

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  • I'll tell you what text him and say your sorry no matter what if it was his fault or yours just tell him your sorry and also tell him thank you for the break up that you have learned a lot and that you didn't mean to be insensitive to his needs and feelings. Leave it very simple and watch what happens. He'll be texting you back in no time. When he does don't get all crazy just be very casual and don't bring up anything bad play it real cool if you know what I mean, as soon as he feels you don't need him and that you feel the break up was a great idea he'll be back.

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  • I also just recently got dumped in a really f***ed up way.I just woke up to find my boyfriend had uploaded a pic of his ex and I just had to understand he was through with me and back with the ex or whatever.I say do not contact him no matter how painful it is or you will simply add more distress to your self,just tell yourself he broke up because he was through with you.Contacting him will give the picture of a desperate you.You can only ask that question if he ever contacts you first,othrwise respect yourself...you are the dumpee here!

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  • I would try to call or text him to see why he broke with you to be honest I dnt really think that its a bad thing your jus trying to find why he broke up with u.

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  • i think you shouldnt, just try to move on

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  • no it will only make you feel worse, just try andd keep the no contact thing.

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  • no, why would you want to text him?

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  • Wish I could help you but I'm kinda in the same situation... Let me put it this was, I called my ex today, and I end up eeling more sh*tty than before I called him.. And I did kinda find out why he broke up with me but it didn't help... Its best not too this was all today 4 me... And it hurts.

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