Would you respect a guy's decision to not pay for dates until sex?

The same way girls just don't feel comfortable having sex until marriage. Well, some guys just don't feel like getting used financially. So, would you respect a guy who wanted to take things slow and wait until the two of you are having sex until he starts paying for dates?

Or, would try to shame him into paying for dates, or is money that important to girls and a guy paying for dates more important than getting to know the guy and loving him for who he really is?

Updates:
Wasn't really a serious question. Just wanted to use all the same taking points a rehash them out to girls who condition sex upon marriage : )

0|0
21|9

Most Helpful Guy

  • LOL this question is awesome.

    0|2
    1|1

What Girls Said 21

  • Of course I would respect your decision not to pay for a date until you have sex, just as long as you would respect my decision to decline going out with you at all. I figured if you were the one asking me out, then you should pay for the date.

    To be honest, if I find out during our first date, I wouldn't try to shame you into paying the tab. I would be more open to paying my own way if we did in fact go out and you let it be known that you feel entitled to my body as my payment for you paying the bill. Of course, once you informed me of that situation during the date. I would "insist" that I pay "my portion" of the bill and I hope that you would understand that that would definitely be our last date.

    Don't get me wrong, I can (in a way) see where you're coming from, but I really don't agree with your logic nor your self entitlement to my body as a form of payment or reward for you paying the tab on a date, ESPECIALLY, if I've at some point during the date determined that I am either not ready for or even interested in having an intimate relationship with you at all.

    Its not about women looking for a free ride at your expense, its about your lack of respect for woman to be as free to choose who and whom we decide to sleep with based on our reasons, wants and desires. That quality alone would make me decline to go out with you long before your view of who should pay for the date even came into question. .

    2|0
    1|1
    • @ Update: You're talking two entirely different issues all together. You seriously can't say that sex after marriage is in the same category as sex for a date. What about the guys who want to wait until marriage for sex? It would be a better comparison than the one you were trying to do.

    • nope. the comparison is stuff men want, and things that are important to men as men, compared to things women want and things that are important to women as women. girls want a guy who will pay for dates, guys want sex. girls vilify guys who want sex, but praise guys who will pay for dates. girls praise guys who will wait for sex, but shame guys who won't pay for dates. it's just interesting reading and taking in all the reactions from different girls ... very telling

    • Of course. Why should I have expected anything different? Very telling indeed.

  • No, I would have no respect for you at all.

    1) I am not waiting for sex anyway.

    2) I would feel like you were only using me for sex or not respecting ME enough or our relationship.

    3) Personally, I don't care about guys paying for me, I have enough money to pay for myself and don't mind splitting the bill. But for you to say "I'm not paying for you until you have sex with me" I think is just rude and highly disrespectful.

    4) If any guy were to give me this ultimatum, I would end things. NOT because he wouldn't pay for me, but because I would feel like he doesn't care about ME and only cares about the sex.

    1|0
    0|1
  • I wouldn't be into that, I wouldn't date him. But I wouldn't judge him either. Men/women are free to have any dating standards they want.

    The money/before sex thing doesn't actually compare to the sex before marriage concept. Staying a virgin until marriage has religious/cultural roots. IT isn't a punishment to make sure a man is "worthy" in most cases it is a requirement for men/women in order to accepted in their social group. In these cases the worth of a man/woman is tied to his/her virginity. The use of money before marriage doesn't have any social/religious consequences.

    0|0
    0|0
  • And sex is how you get to know each other? Haha no. I can understand not wanting to pay. I personally don't like to let my boyfriends pay for anything. They did though because they cared about me. Most guys do it as a sign of respect. I would feel like a whore if he only paid for things after sex. It is degrading and hurtful. Some girls do take advantage of a guys generosity and it's not right but only paying for dates if she puts out is even more wrong! If a guy told me that I would lose interest right on the spot. You don't have to pay for everything, but every now and then is a nice way of letting her know you care. Don't be the a**hole who treats his girl like a whore. You don't seem like an ass. More like a guy who has been used too many times. Don't let past relationships ruin your future ones.

    1|0
    0|0
  • So, you wouldn't mind "being used financially" if she is having sex with you? Interesting... If you don't want to be used financially establish the rule to always split the bill, even when you do start having sex with the girl. The way you put it, it sounds like paying for sex, and no, a self-respecting girl wouldn't respect that.

    A guy paying for a date is a guy who wants to appear chivalrous. It's not chivalrous if you're only chivalrous to a woman who has agreed to sleep with you. If you don't want to pay for a date, that's fine, but then split the bill, and split it always, even after she starts sleeping with you.

    Girls will respect the decision to always split the bill more than the decision to pay only when they sleep with you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Wtf hell no. That's like buying sex. A guy wanting to wait until sex to be able to pay for dates doesn't guarantee you a long term relationship. You can't even compare the two. If he's that unwilling to at least split a bill with me, then what is he doing? We don't need to be in a relationship no how. Trust, I'm beyond social standards, and what's considered the "norm", but guys should want to pay for a date, as well as women. Especially if you're trying to get know the person. But, if you feel like you're getting "used" why are you dating to begin with? A woman having sex with you shouldn't justify whether or not she's using you, you should be able to make that determination before you start dating if you're so worried.

    2|0
    0|0
  • So.. basically, you will only pay if you get sex. Just hire a stripper and pay her straight up for the sex. At least, with the stripper, you are being more honest and straightforward about it. Save yourself the grief of being slapped when asking a girl this question. If it was me and you had ever asked me this question, I will happily walk away from you and not even give you a seconds worth of my time afterwards.

    1|0
    0|1
  • Well we wouldn't be dating because im not having sex till marriage so we would end up just paying separate and I personally don't have the money to go out often. lol (for the record sometimes I pay for me and my bf so it's not that I mind paying SOMETIMES just not all)

    0|0
    0|0
  • 3 words GO TO HELL :)

    2|0
    0|2
  • I would call him an a**hole. so what? if I have sex with that guy he'll pay me back by buying me food?! paying for a date is an act of chivalry and shows respect and that you have money to support the girl and are willing to spend it on her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think you should put it like that. if your girl is expecting you to pay all the time, that's lame on her part. but if you don't pay for the sole reason that you aren't getting laid, that's considered a bitch move.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't want my bf to pay for everything, but if he'd only play when i have sex with him.... Ähm.... Excuse me ? I'm not a prostitute ?!? When you also play sometimes it just shows that you really care and that it's not only about sex

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you ask, you pay. If the chick asks, she pays. Regardless if you bump uglies. That's just proper manners. When I've asked the guy out, I always paid, and I didn't even get a thank you, asking for an orgasm would've been criminal lol.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Lol enjoy being single...

    4|0
    0|1
  • Nope. We'd be done before we started. Don't get me wrong. I understand his logic. I just don't agree. I'm not out for his money. But I am one of those girls who is waiting for marriage so if he thinks him not paying for dates until he gets sex is going to get me to put out before marriage, he's dead wrong. And any guy who told me that was his method of dating...I'd steer clear of him.

    1|0
    0|1
  • not in a million years

    2|0
    0|1
  • Lol no

    1|0
    0|1
  • No. I think that is stupid and I wouldn't out up with it.

    0|0
    0|1
  • sure! for as long as he didn't have a problem waiting to have sex until marriage : )

    3|0
    0|0
  • lmao, I love this question! you're trying the flip the whole "no sex until marriage" (no sex until money) thing into a "no paying for dates until sex" (no money until sex) thing. It'll never happen, but nice try.

    1|0
    0|1
  • no, that would only mean the guy is looking for something.

    1|0
    0|1

What Guys Said 8

  • They are two different things and should not be linked. The question is for girls, but I'd have no respect at all for you. I mean seriously wtf? You should date her because you want to. You should pay for her dates because you want to. If you want a prostitute then go hire one.

    What the hell ever happened to dating? Take her out, treat her like a lady and offer to pay for it. If she doesn't want to have sex then continue treating her like a lady and respect her choice. To tie sex to payments is treating her like a ho.

    9|1
    0|2
    • Respect for men restored! This guy knows what is up! Haha! ^.^

    • Thank goodness there are still gentlemen out there. You've restored my faith in men.

  • This question is kinda screwed up. Shame you into paying for dates? Where is your chivalry? You aren't buying sex. If you want that get a hooker not a date

    6|1
    0|3
  • Waiting to pay for a girl when she has sex for you is prostitution. Rather you could wait to pay for girls till MARRIAGE. That might seems less degrading and a little more logical. You won't be used financially (which you don't mind if you get laid).

    P.S. Even guys wait till marriage before having sex, it doesn't mean they are using some girl.

    0|0
    0|0
    • It's still prostitution regardless whether payment is up-front or at the back-end of the deal. Are you reading the responses for girls? lol They're upset that a guy would want sex first without making the initial down-payment. They're furious at the idea that a guy would even dare think about a situation where he could have sex with a woman based off of just mutual sexual attraction, without paying her in some form for it. The prostitutes are not uncomfortable with prostitution lol

  • I'm with you on this one man!

    0|1
    1|0
  • not pay for the full date or expect the girl to pay 100%?

    0|0
    0|0
  • LOL. 'Equality' is a one-way street, my friend.

    0|2
    1|0
  • i wouldn't shame him into paying...but I also wouldn't want to date someone who thinks like that. I'm fine with going dutch, but it would bother me that he'd expect sex if he paid for a meal... :/

    0|0
    1|0
  • Nice try buddy, but you're not going to get married OR get laid until YOU "put out".

    Stop looking for equality. It doesn't exist for men.

    2|3
    0|0
Loading...