If a girl doesn't respond with a kiss on her text message? Also, good or bad signs?

[Anonymous]

Me and this girl have been flirting and that, she always tends to reply to my texts quickly and we always seem to put x's at the end.

Before the weekend, I sent her a playful text about wanting to talk to her but the dumb guard wouldn't let me into the zoo and wanting her to escape. She replied with "Oo oo ah ah ah" with a monkey face.

So I decided to not put x's on my replies as she didn't, wanting to match her interest level I guess.

After the weekend, I texted her saying "Busy today but tell me when you're free to do facetime x" and she replied "I'm working all week but should be free Friday".

I've noticed she's stopped putting x's on her texts whenever I do now, am I worrying over nothing here?

I always assumed if you're interested in someone, you sort of "copy" them or if you're not into someone that away, you'd not use them if you're the sort of person who usually does.

Simple case of over thinking? I asked her to do facetime at the weekend but she was busy with work and that we'd do that soon, so I asked today and she said she was busy with work this week (she did write that on someones wall on Facebook before I asked) and told me she should be free Friday.

(Probably sounds ridiculous)

Updates

+1 y

Truthfully, should I initiate contact with her or should I let her come to me if she suggested Friday?

[nat101]

You are really over thinking this. If she wouldn't like you she would have not texted you back especially when she is so busy and probably tired and she would not agree to meet you. She might be too tired or think it is pointless when you are talking about casual stuff. She might be a little bit frustrated about you not texting x's before. You should now be a bit more affectionate like text xx or xoxo. That way she will eventually text x's back if she likes you. The key is not to be TOO clingy. Good luck.

[Asker]

When you say I shouldn't be too clingy, how shouldn't I be acting? We usually contact each other every 2-3 days or so, such as texting her a joke or something happening to me. She'll laugh or play along. I sometimes purposely go days without contacting in the past and she initiates it with me, be it text or twitter. I match her interest level really, not replying longer than she does, waiting double the time she takes to reply. I don't act as if I NEED her in other words.

[nat101]

Well if you are not too clingy then something else is up. Maybe you are giving her the impression that you don't need her? You should be a bit of everything and not over the top in one area and lack the other if you know what I mean. She might also be bored of beinf in the same relationship level for that long? Maybe its time to move to another level? Share something personal with her she will like that. You will show her that you can trust her and that she is a big part of your life even though

[nat101]

She might not be. She will open up more in return and she will trust you. :)

[Asker]

That's why I want to facetime with her, we haven't met but it was her idea to do that before we meet. I'm assuming she actually is busy because before I texted her, her friend said to her she'd be free Thursday and Friday, but she replied on her Facebook status she said sorry that she'd be busy all week working, so I went into texting her knowing that which is why I asked. She suggested Friday, which is confusing as she turned her friend down.

[Asker]

Someone suggested I should forget about this and try to go distant, i.e no more contact and let her initiate it to me. If she suggested Friday, would it be worth not getting in contact with her? Surely if she suggested that day, she'd remember to get in touch to do facetime? I was thinking if she didn't bother to initiate, it wouldn't be worth it

[Asker]

Truthfully, should I initiate contact with her or should I let her come to me if she suggested Friday?

[nat101]

You should be completely normal and maybe a little more affectionate and see how she behaves. If she is bored or taking all the effort for granted or acts all distant you should become distant. If she is happy about you being affectionate and you two have a normal conversation then she is into you. You should initiate contact with her.

[Asker]

I've got someone suggesting I should let her contact me now haha, because apparently she set a time for doing facetime so she should be carrying it through with me. If I did contact her, it'd be something funny and then lead to wanting to do facetime, but everyone seems split. Surely I should let her come to me if I've been chasing her more lately?

[nat101]

If she is feminine she must like the man go for who and what he wants no matter how many times he has been turned down. Be aware that she might also be testing you. Do what your gut tells you to do and it seems like you still want to still keep in touch with her.

[Asker]

I know she genuinely is busy. but if she is testing me, you're saying I should just keep contacting? Because I do know what I want and I'd like her to know that, without seeming too easy. I still want to remain a challenge.

[nat101]

Well then bit by bit make the time periods in between contacting her longer and longer. This will be a hint to her that you seem to fade away. Still contact her on Friday though.

[Asker]

Got it, contact it is, will be 4 days without contact. I'll make the next one about 5, etc, only if I'm getting aloof responses. If she's showing interest I'll avoid that. One last question, wise to text her something funny instead of going straight to the point about facetiming? Kind of like arranging a date with a girl, I wouldn't jump in with the question, I'd make her laugh first, etc

[nat101]

That's it! No, humour is never a bad choice. Noone likes tention in a relationship and the situation will be tense if you would interogate her about you two communicating. Just lead with your humorious foot. Let me know how it goes. :)

[Asker]

I will do! thanks for helping :)

[Asker]

Hmm, noticed she tweeted late the other night saying "I don't like anyone at all lately". Am I over thinking that? Could just be her getting stressed and saying the usual "i hate everyone" thing, just hope it's not a hint. Sounds pathetic but, I've got myself played before and I don't want a repeat. Why I throw my insecurities at sites like these

[nat101]

You are over thinking this a bit. You know it might be hormones or stress or something. Just do the distance thing I've told you below and soon she will notice that she needs to contact you to see why you are doing this. Don't put in much thought into detail and give her some time to sort things out by not making any radical moves. Just as soon as she makes some efford stop the 'being distant' thing .

[nat101]

Also you won't be able to protect yourself from being played. You can try to awoid it but it isn't always possible. You can be played plenty of more times to come just the key isn't to change yourself for other people's stupidity and rudeness. You just have to put yourself out there and wait for a person who won't see a reason to play you. To me a relationship is a bit like a game, I don't take things that happen to me seriously.

We all have to talk about our insecurities somewhere and with some1.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, yeah I'm over thinking. I'm going to text her something funny today like "aliens have come to abduct all the sexy handsome people, you'll be fine though... I'm just texting to say goodbye!" or something like it. Then depending on her reply, I'll ask her to do facetime. She said Friday so if I get another busy excuse, I'll just remove her. Want her to see that I'm not going to play games or get used really.

[nat101]

Haha smart one! Well if that's the plan then stick with it. I just don't recommend any radical moves like removing her, but if you are sick being ditched by her then go on.

[Asker]

It does seem a little radical.. but I don't want to keep seeing her name pop up on my twitter timeline, etc. If it does go this route, should I wait a few days before doing that? And I'll let you know how it goes on, going to text her around late afternoon/evening

[Asker]

Okay I texted her that joke and not had a reply for two hours. I was expecting an excuse but no reply atm, not seen her tweet or be online on Facebook but it said 20 minutes ago she added two people (girls) on Facebook (or accepted them) so I don't know whether she's purposely ignoring me or her phones not charged or she hasn't seen.. How long should I wait before I cut contact? I want her to realize I'm not going to play games!

[Asker]

Saw she was tagged in a picture outside with two friends just before, so she was obviously busy going out. Don't get why she suggested Friday anyway... I'm not going to contact any more until she can be bothered. Might just give it this weekend then remove her, fed up of being the mug

[nat101]

Yep. That girl is being a total b*tch. Sorry but in my opinion you should cut her off as soon as possible. At this moment she knows what she is doing, if she likes you, she will find a way to talk to you again. Maybe she thought she was giving you the signs but she felt sorry for being so cruel to you so she agreed to do facetime. It can still be a misunderstanding though but you have been sitting around waiting for too long to not receive anything in return. Sorry for not replying earlier t.

[Asker]

Hmm, think I should send a final text on Monday? I was thinking of saying "I just met your twin" as that's a good one for flakes. Do you think that's a good idea? She might have been drunk reading my text and not remembered or it never went through. I was thinking if she doesn't reply, then cut all contact, but it seems this week she's had work every day, then decided to go out with friends at night, so she could be busy. Then again, it takes one minute to reply :/

[Asker]

Oh, that's something I've forgotten.. whenever I joke in a cocky/funny way, she seems to either play along and call me out on my cockyness, or she ignores it. Noticed she does act a little off when I act in that way, maybe that's why she didn't respond to my joke. I just hope I'm not making excuses for her now!

[nat101]

I don't think so. You will show her that you don't mind being ingnored. It takes only one minute to reply. Let her text you first.

[Asker]

Seems to be the general opinion. How long should I wait for until I remove her number, twitter and Facebook? Last I heard from her was Monday, I'd rather remove her as I don't want to see her name come up.

[nat101]

Delete her on Facebook first, then twitter then delete her phone number. Leave at least a one day gap between each but start now. You will always hope that she will contact you but you should be too be too busy with your own stuff to care or at least make it look like that is the case. You have tried to contact her and talk to her, now it her turn to put in the efford especially if she notices that you are quite angry and are slowly fading away.

[Asker]

Right, I'll do that but I'll start on Tuesday. Give it a bit more time! What if she responds asking why I deleted her?

[Asker]

Oh wait, did you suggest Facebook first because of it being popular? Because she uses Twitter lots, Facebook quite a bit but not as much, etc

[nat101]

You could say 'i thought you were no longer interested' and then explain why not saunding like whinning girl but a layed back guy. If I were you I would have deleted her straight away and would have not wasted any more time but it is your relationship and your life. It seems like you have the attitute of holding on and not letting go. I respect that. Just that you said you didn't want to be used.

[Asker]

I do wonder if it's a problem of trust though, she lost her dad during her life and I am a stranger online. This might have been different had I known her already. Yeah, I always tend to hold on until it's the last option unfortunately. I'm out tonight anyway, probably try and get some girl's number to keep my mind occupied. Do you think it's a bad idea to mention tomorrow about getting some girls number from the night before on twitter, to maybe spark jealousy? Or should I avoid?

[nat101]

The trust issue might not be that big, sure it might still be there but it is always there when you are talking with someone online. I just read over everything again and you know she might not like your cocky side. She might take your jokes seriously like the one about beautiful people , she could have thought that you are calling her ugly. About the post on twitter, I really don't know do what your gut tells you to do. If you like drama then go for it.

[Asker]

I was about to say that, someone mentioned she might have thought I was calling her ugly, which isn't what I want.. I'm just going to text her tomorrow. I was going to say she has a beautiful smile, so she doesn't think my joke was serious, but I think saying "Recently thought about you.. how have you been?" might be better? Should I go for the straight compliment or that I was thinking of her? I really do think she ignored me and took offence.

[nat101]

She might have taken offence ahh online dating is hard.

You can do both. Say something like that but in a different way. 'thinking about you... How have you been. Can't wait to see that beautiful smile of yours' or you can talk about the smile differently like 'cannot get that gorgeous smile of yours out of my head' or 'have the picture of your beautiful smile in my head everyday/right now'. Don't worry you won't sound cheesy. If you go straight for the compliment, it will be out of context.

[Asker]

Oh by the way, how should I go about this message. Should I sent it as another text or be safe and send it to her Facebook inbox? At least I'll know she's seen it then.

[nat101]

She will see it eather way, but she is not pressured into answering straight away. Send her a text by phone and give it a day. If she does not answer the try to catch her online and send her a SIMILAR message. If she is always offline send it two or three days after your text no matter what time. If she does not reply in two three days remove her on Facebook. Remove her from twitter later because that is the one she is always on and she won't see you deleting her number on your phone.

[Asker]

Right, so text her something similar to what you said in the other reply, wait a day, if nothing, catch her online/send to Facebook inbox. I have a feeling the inbox one should be more direct though, like not wanting to play games or so on. Then if nothing again, wait a couple of days and remove off Facebook. I got it! Will say what happens :)

[nat101]

Yep that's right. Do :) I sure hope I am of any help.

[Asker]

Haha, I appreciate the help! Wasn't expecting to keep anyone's attention on here. Think I'll text about 2-3pm tomorrow, not too late. Will tell you what happens

[nat101]

Well some people are not selfish and actually try to help people. Thanks. The time doesn't really matter here :) maybe if you are going to text her then, give her a full day to reply and then take some action i.e. Give her a full Tuesday to reply and then message her on Facebook on Wednesday.

[Asker]

Strangely enough, I woke up this morning to a text from her she sent near 2am this morning saying "Haha.. ET phone home (couple of phone symbols) X". Why so late from my reply though? I'm still going to send that text though, but leave that until tomorrow now. I think I need to hit more on a personal level with her like complimenting her. I don't want to start becoming a friend by sending jokes 24/7. It used to be personal but I spiraled off not wanting to appear boring!

[Asker]

Mind you an hour before that her friend tagged her in a post about getting drunk, although her text to me didn't seem like she was drunk. How come she didn't reply when sober, but decided to reply when a bit drunk? Just curious haha

[Asker]

Hmm conversation went well and she was playful but I sent that text today about her smile being beautiful and no reply again. I'll probably get one a day and a half later again, maybe she's playing hard to get. I'm tempted to ignore her reply and have her text me twice in a row but it carries on the games again. Gonna just be direct with her if she replies.

[nat101]

There can be many reasons why she didn't reply to you when she was sober you will be able to ask her yourself later on. It could be lack of confidence/courage to text you, herd friend telling her to.give you a chance because you are trying or she just felt like it.

I don't think there is anything wrong about that text. She might be flattered and doesnot know how to reply without sounding cliche or something. She might be too busy to text back or she is really falling for you and she is scared

[nat101]

Too afraid to show it to you because she does not know what will happen next. Mind you she might also be unsure weather you are lieing for a specific reason or you are actually nice and you like her. Just like with the jokes, don't drown her in compliments. One is enough for now. As you said she might have trust issuesand you don't want her mixing up your niceness with something horribly wrong. Now just watch her moves and act slowly. I don't think a game is necessary. She won't like to.find

[nat101]

Herself in a begging possition for someone she still does not fully know and trust.

[Asker]

Yeah it could be many things. Do I still be direct with her and say "Look, I like you and I want to get to know you... That's why we're gonna do FaceTime soon, no shy business! " Or is that the wrong approach? It feels right, but I don't want to scare her off. If she does text back, it'll either to be to re-initiate or reply back to my compliment, both potentially good outcomes. Worth chasing up with my direct reply if she doesn't get back?

[Anonymous]

Stop over thinking and analyzing everything. Just go with the flow and stop worrying about silly things like x's at the end of texts. That's very insignificant.

[FiveFingerBroFist]

You were just conditioned to mirror each other so now you're feeling weird that she suddenly broke that trend (possibly due to being busy/tired). Don't worry man, you're just over thinking things. Besides, she already said she can hang out with you again this Friday. If she flakes out on you, then you have a reason to worry, but even then keep your cool and try again.

[Asker]

Well, it's not hanging out, it's going on our iphones and using facetime. We haven't met, but texted, phoned for quite a bit. I see the interest there, but she has recently got a new job and a car to go along with it. She works at a bar at the weekend and another job during the week. She wants us to use facetime before she considers meeting me, understandable.

Although, you could base it on the same premise that she suggested another time despite being busy?

[FiveFingerBroFist]

Yeah man at least she's trying to follow up with a certain day she can touch base with you again even if it's just facetime. So I wouldn't worry too much over this. Just go with the flow.

[Asker]

Should I let her initate with me on that Friday seeing as she suggested it? Or should I chase her up on it that day? I was going to do it as a test, if she suggested that day then surely she'd be eager to remember it and get in touch, otherwise if she didn't on that day, or at the weekend, then I'd forget and move on?

[FiveFingerBroFist]

Let her initiate. I'm assuming you did enough asking/initiating, so unless she's just a girl who craves attention and wants to be chased, she should own up to her "promise" (for a lack of a better word) to touch base with you this Friday as she suggested.

[Asker]

I'm really in two minds about this now, I agree with you because I could see it as a test, but then again she might think I'm not interested if I don't contact. I'd be almost certain not to contact had I not read her response to her friend on her Facebook profile, who told her she'd be busy all week to do anything yet suggested Friday to me. If I hadn't seen that, then I would have assumed it was a lame excuse.

[FiveFingerBroFist]

You can initiate, but give her ample time to start things off this Friday, i.e. don't initiate in the morning or early in the afternoon, but if you don't hear from her still then try to contact her maybe that night.

Or, if you still feel torn about this, then you can do what I do: F***the "game" and just do whatever feels right to you man. It's how I've personally done things and I turned out just fine with relationships.

[Asker]

Yeah I never got these silly games, yeah it increases attraction but once its there, why play more games? If you think you're losing them, sure.. play a game to keep them reeled in. What do you think is the best time? I was thinking about 8pm to text her and suggest it. We usually phone around 9-10pm.

[Asker]

Truthfully, should I initiate contact with her or should I let her come to me if she suggested Friday?

[FiveFingerBroFist]

Just do it man. And around 8pm or so should be good if that's the regular time you guys talk to each other. You'll know if she's interested in you if she flakes out or doesn't answer or whatever. Besides, I'm assuming you haven't been contacting her up until now (therefore giving her space), correct?

[GossipGirl123xoxo]

if a girl constantly sending kisses and now she's not sending them back maybe because u did something to hurt her feelings or she's just not interested in you in a certain way try talking more or if u really like the person ask them out no one is afraid of being rejected people move on

[Anonymous]

dont over think it dude

[Anonymous]

its neither.

[Asker]

how so?

[Anonymous]

It doesn't mean anythink don't over think it