I'm in a dating rut?

In the past couple of months I've dated a handful of different girls. They all seemed interesting at first, but I didn't really feel a connection with any of them afterward. I would go on two or three dates with each of them and feel no spark what so ever, so the relationship would go nowhere from there. I tried to keep an open mind, but at the end of the day I just wasn't interested. I couldn't feel that chemistry that I did with previous long term girlfriends. How can I get out of this dating rut? Am I choosing the wrong girls? Are my expectations just too high?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it may be a combination of both high expectations and the wrong girls. I think at this point you need to take a break from the dating scene and just work on yourself and concentrate on studies or work or a hobby of some sort then go back to the dating life. This could be your bodies way of telling you to take a break and be single for a while. Maybe in that process you'll stumble upon an amazing girl and you'll get that spark back!

    Hope this advice helps ya and good luck :)

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    • Thanks! That's really good advice. I'm just currently on break from college, and I don't have many studies or anything to focus on. Its summer and I have a lot of free time; which, is why I've been trying so hard to find a girlfriend to spend it with. I think I will start investing more time in my hobbies though.

    • I agree with TeamNiceGuy's first sentence, but "taking a break from dating" (especially if you're a male) is the WORST thing you can do if you're trying to find someone ;)

What Girls Said 3

  • i think you are, and also chosing wrong girls

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  • you aren't going for the right girls

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  • you are choosing the wrong girls

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What Guys Said 3

  • Might be you need to need to take a step back and do the things you enjoy without trying to tack on any pressure and expectations. Get back in sink with yourself sort of speak.

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    • Thanks for the advice, I think I will do just that.

  • Me too... it's absurd really..

    A little over a year ago, I was dating anywhere between 3-6 girls at once, Then there was nearly 7 months of ABSOLUTELY NO dates at all...

    Only now am I kind of "back in the saddle" again ;)

    The only thing I can say is, "When it rains, it pours."

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  • You're doing better than me! I haven't been on a date since Feb. I've had the same issues as you. In the last year. Meeting a lot that I'm not so interested in. I've met one chick who I was highly interested in the last 12 mos. ..but she didn't feel the same, and wanted to be friends. If you're meeting these girls in person and not online, I think you might be rushing taking them out too soon. Everyone goes through times were they can't seem to find decent dates. If -12 mos from now you're having the same problem, then maybe you need to re evaluate what you're doing. Just keep dating.

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    • Thanks, sorry to hear the girl didn't feel the same way. I'm actually in a similar situation right now and I have a feeling it could be an underlying cause of my rut. There is one girl that I'm very interested in and the chemistry is just perfect when I'm with her. However, we currently cannot date due to certain circumstances. I think that this girl has set my standards so high, that the other girls I date can't even compete. Your comment helped me think of this, so thanks again!

    • No problem man..hope things turn out well. Yeah, its annoying when you know that on paper you're exactly what a girl you like is looking for. But for whatever reason...personality demeanor...something, and they decide you're not the ONE, long before they ever come close to getting to know the real you! Personally, it takes me 2-3 months of knowing anyone before the real me comes out. Not sure if that makes sense...and its probably a flaw of mine. If so, its hard to fix.

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