So I'm 23 years old, have never really dated or kissed a guy. I've graduated college and I'm going on to do my masters (eventually) and do my phd (as well). I'm a very sweet, loyal and funny person (as these are the three main things my friends tell me). I'm average looking I suppose, even though some guys have said above average but I doubt that since guys barely approach me. I try super hard to give off an approachable vibe, but truth is a lot of my friends before they got to know me thought I was "bitchy" "didn't like them" or intimidating in high school, when I was kind of shy. And apparently I gave that same vibe off to guys, because I wouldn't talk to them properly. Slowly I began having more guy friends (all be it, not very many) but I got used to laughing and talking with them and see how I do have to communicate with them differently than I do my girlfriends.
Anyways, with no dating experience I went on a free online dating site that a lot of people used and had success so I thought why not, even a few people (family members of friends) got married to people they met of that website.
So last year I joined it and went on 3 dates with different guys none of them were any good, first guy was a total jerk but gave it a try again still.
Then now I went back on it this summer, met a guy who I thought was very good on paper and in person very good looking. After the date started I could tell he wasn't into me at all, indirectly told me how he was cheap, everything I told him I liked he tried to showcase how he didn't like it. Like we both liked fitness, I thought that was common ground be he even tried to change that. I don't know if I appear that different in pictures and then real life because why do they ask me out and message me for weeks and then just want to get the hell out of the date, this guy even looked at his watch 2 separate times and asked when I was going to meet my friends and where.
So after this date I cried and vented to a few close girlfriends a lot. I have read books on dating and advice on flirting all that stuff that normal people don't have to do. Then I still went back on that website and now barely any guys I like are giving me much attention. I'm so depressed about my situation, I've even lost my apetite and I don't want to talk to my family at home even and they have no clue about this (can't tell them about this dating stuff because they are opposed to it... long story.)
I really don't know what to do and how to move on. I actually miss talking to this last guy, and now I know for sure he doesn't want anything to do with me. I feel so crushed. I don't know what to do.
Most Helpful Guy
Let me give you a reality check.
I know one guy who has done a fair amount of online dating, and generated several long term (3 months to a couple years) relationships from online. I know other people who've used it a bit, but he's the most effective.
When he's single, he goes on 5-10 first dates -a week-. Of those, -maybe- half warrant a second date, and of those 2-3 second dates, maybe one or two hits a third date, and maybe from there they try dating, and maybe that lasts a few weeks, or not.
Most dates aren't going anywhere. That's just how it is.
Another piece of advice from the same guy? He considers lots of 'talking' online a waste of time. You do NOT know if there's any potential till you meet in person. So he asks people to meet in person RIGHT AWAY. Huge numbers of people online are flakes just looking for attention or chatting, so it filters them out. People who actually want to date, want to meet! These are not big dates - just meeting for a drink or coffee. You like their profile, there's potential, they like yours, you meet for a quick drink, see each other in person, interact, and half the time, its worth setting up a dinner date based on that.
Don't let it get you down.2