Why do guys do this? please help me here!

i been with this guy for over 5 years. he has this chick staying with him to keep his dream going. she buys him everything and she's a little slow on life but its the money he admitted he wanted. he say things now to push me away and he scares me to push me away...she not allowed to talk to me or anything because she will know the truth. why is he pushing me away? is it because I call and text a lot or is he afraid I might mess up his money train? just because he in a relationship he's pushing me away...my friends say to wait until he text and call me. the things he said he was gonna do such as change his number and bla bla it was all to push me away. why do guys do this? I was only calling to hear about the surpise engagement ring he purchased me but he think I don't know

Updates:
please no more responses I do not wanna be judged on here I came for help not to be judged and I entered a request for this to be deleted

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You know for a fact he's a lying, amoral user.

    Your expectations of his behavior should be based on that.

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    • thank you for not judging me :)

What Guys Said 5

  • "[I've] been with this guy for over 5 years. He has this chick staying with him to keep his dream going."

    ^When I first read this, I thought that you're currently in a relationship with him, and he's off living with another woman.

    "Just because he in a relationship he's pushing me away..."

    ^Then I read this. So you aren't in an official relationship with him, but he IS in an official relationship with this other woman...?

    "I was only calling to hear about the surpise engagement ring he purchased me but he think I don't know"

    Um...how do you know the ring is for you? Let's face it, you're not in a relationship with the guy and he bought an engagement ring? Men very rarely propose to women that they're not currently in a relationship with, and he's not in a relationship with you, but he IS in a relationship with someone else. The ring's probably for her. If he truly is the gold digger you make him out to be, wouldn't he want to marry the money train - to guarantee steady income for life?

    He is definitely using someone...and that someone is you*. Your best bet is to break off contact with him, and get yourself in a real relationship!

    *Fine, he's using the other woman too.

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    • no the engagement ring had my name listed on the sheet of it my friend works at the place he purchased it from and I'm not in a relationship with him and she only make 2000 a month and it all goes on him not herself

  • I'm going to give you some solid advice here without judgment. I don't judge. I have a closet full of my own skeletons. Besides, you're an adult and you can make your own decisions.

    You have provided an absolute world of information here. And all the answers you need you have given in your question. Ol' boy is on a money train, and he doesn't want that train derailed. But I'm going to guess you're giving it up in the bedroom, which means he's got the money train on one track and the, forgive my honest description, piece-on-the-side train on another track. So he's getting sex and money from his old lady and he's getting sex from you too.

    Perfect scenario for him...as long as both trains don't end up on the same track. And that's the real game that is getting played here. He's getting you an engagement ring? Take a lesson from Marvin Gaye and "believe half of what you see and none of what you hear." Until that engagement ring is on your finger, that's just one more thing he is telling you to get you to keep putting out. He's stringing you along. And the reason he pushes you away is you're texting and calling all the time and he's afraid you're going to mess up that money train. He admitted that to you.

    So take it for what it is. He's not going to leave her for you unless you become the money train. But even then, he's still getting to have sex with two women, which outweighs you being the money train.

    My personal suggestion, move on and get you a decent man who isn't running game on you.

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  • This is interesting.

    This man bought you an engagement ring but he currently with another woman using her for funds. The behavior isn't indicative of guilt, no, fear, fear of being caught, yes, but is she onto him? Behind the scenes, something else, something looming in his mind, something beyond fear. Freedom? Entrapment? Stress? A secret something, a personal something.

    It's too bad really; I think I could have been of service. Questions. Lots of questions.

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    • u and I both is wondering what is going on but we not together at the moment and money is the reason why...something fishy is going on

    • Well, let's talk. Tell me everything you know, esp. surrounding the sudden change in his behavior, usually if someone acts like this the reason comes a very defined point and knowing that point answers your question. I'm guessing it was sudden. How long has this one been avoiding you too? The length of the behavior and the extremeness are heavy predictors of an outcome. Such as "How" is he trying to scare you?

  • ok think of me as a friend, and I will tell you EXACTLY what I would tell my friends. For your own sake and to prevent any more heart break in the future, please just break up with him. He doesn't care about you, I'm a guy and I'm telling you this. I know you care about him, but you can't force someone else to care about you.

    A lot more heartache is waiting if you don't do what you know you need to do.

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  • lol typical person posting a question not being able to handle criticism get over it god you people piss me off royally when you just can't take anything anybody says on the internet you have to have a backbone good grief lady

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What Girls Said 2

  • Why do women enter into relationships like this and complain?

    It is what it is. Either deal with it, or break up with him if you don't like it.

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    • im not in a relationship with him

  • I think yu should just keep away feom him

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