2 years ago I had been dating a guy for about a year and broke up with him when I started college because I wanted to "try new things" and I also wanted to experience hook-ups and college men(yes I know, selfish). A few weeks after we broke up I got with another guy for about a year and he ended up cheating on me. Me and the first guy had been pretty serious and he wanted to come to college with me and move in with me, so when I broke up with him it was a complete surprise and I broke his heart so much so that he basically eliminated me from his life. Well recently (after dating several guys and reminiscing) I had been sad about our breakup and imaging the what-ifs of us getting back together and eventually got my friend to convince him to talk to me. He basically told me that he forced himself to move on and that even though I was an amazing person that he loved, he couldn't love me again after how I hurt him and that I would have to just find someone else in the future because he couldn't risk that heartbreak again.
I understand where he is coming from and at this point I don't know whether I messaged him for HIM in particular or because I am just lonely right now. I have been single/dating for about 7-8 months now and I just am tired of it. I want to settle down and he would've been the one I wanted to settle down with. I haven't been able to find any guy that made me as happy as him and I don't know whether I should go out of my way to win him back or let the past be the past and wait until someone else comes along? Please help me out with this if yall can!
Most Helpful Guy
You've grown up. And when you grow up like that, often you find that someone you were dating previously was already grown up. I do admire that you broke up with him before going to college rather than just cheating on him. Points for you on that one.
But he's moved on. Trust, you see, is like a glass. Once it is shattered, it can be put back together, but the cracks will always show. So even if you did get back together, he would always be thinking in the back of his mind, when is she going to leave again. And he would be correct in that statement, because what are you going to do when you decided you need to do some more growing? More than likely the same thing.
Chalk it up as a learning experience and find you another guy who wants to settle down.0