Is online dating even worth it?

I don't go out much so I decided to give okcupid a try. After making my profile, getting a few pictures, up I start to message some girls. Now let me say I send pretty good messages, I do read their profile, I mention something, I'm often fairly funny or witty. I haven't gotten a single message back. So I find out (from girls ask guys) that any fairly attractive girl can get over 20 messages a day! Now I'm not ugly, but I'm no Channing Tatum either, so I basically have no chance when girls can pick out the hottest guys from the large pool who message them. I'm not desperate and sorry ladies but you have to weigh less than me for me to find you attractive (it's not that hard), so I am basically lost in this sea of average guys. I know there are some success stories, but if a girl who normally would have maybe 20 guys hit on her in a month is getting 20 guys a day, how do I even compete?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dude, do not worry. I have also had NO luck with OKCupid at all. I haven't had a single date in a year off of there. Do yourself a favor and make a profile on Match, or try POF. I put one up on POF and dated a girl for 6 months. Then barely a month later I had two hot dates lined up and the first was so good that I cancelled the 2nd... I have no idea what's up with OKCupid to be honest. I, like you left many messages of all sorts and barely heard from anyone. And I am pretty sure I'm a pretty attractive guy, too. I have a great job, a nice car and am into bodybuilding. Not to sound arrogant, but I know there's a crap load of women that would love to be dating me. It may be the same for you. You just have to be brief and honest in your profile. Post recent, good pics that represent the way you really look. And don't divulge too much in your profile. I changed my entire summary drastically one night and then the next few weeks got several messages from attractive women I didn't even message. Just try POF, trust me.

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    • I signed up for pof, but I found it to be very confusing and unorganized.

What Girls Said 6

  • not worth it man, wouldn't you prefer to see her face, look into her eyes, hear her voice and hold her hand? you don't wanna tell your kids, your mother and I met through a computer screen.

    stick to old fashioned face to face dating, much more...real:P

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    • I would definitely prefer we met in the real world. But I just don't get out much and don't meet people often. I work a lot, my friends have kind of ditched me lately, and I really am not the club/bar kind of guy. If I'm sitting at home I might as well try to find someone.

    • Thats OK, think of you going out as something ud only do for a girl you truly want to love. I mean, ud do anything for her right? So I guess it starts with searching her out. N between you and me, I havnt heard of many club/party guys who find true love... You know what theyre after man..

      The 'friends' whov ditched u...well, not loyal I guess. Stuff em. Get out there and make new friends and search out a girl you can love. Make it a challenge for yourself. Embrace it, who knows, you might even enjoy it:)

  • I don't like it too

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  • defiantly NOT. I remember I used to go on there just to mess with guys... I'm sure a lot of girls do that too... just for an ego boost. I stopped because it was a waste of time.

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  • i don't thhink its worthy I don't like it.

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  • i prefer regular dating

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  • i think it could help

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What Guys Said 5

  • I know people who've had plenty of success with online dating. More with paid then free sites, but whatever.

    OKCupid says the average guy is messaged back on between 1/3 and 1/4 of his first messages to women. You need to be messaging like 10 a day, expecting 2-3 will even respond.

    How do you compete? 10 of those guys probably basically asked her for a picture of her p****, and another 5 probably rarely leave their parents basement. Of the remaining 5 she might talk to half and go on a first date with one or 2.

    Put it in your mind that you're going to be going out, having a good time, doing fun things, and your'e giving girls the opportunity to share that experience with you.

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  • What kind of pictures do you have?

    My friend gets 50-100 a day on POF in a city of 1M. But she looks amazing.

    If you do everything right then yes. Thers so many little things you can do to increase your attractiveness. Problem is most men online have sh*tty pictures like webcam or mirror photos, have boring profiles or have their whole life story, send stupid generic messages that don't intrigue the girl, and never try get her offline. The only competition is with guys who look great and have something else going for them, but all the average joes (not just in looks) online aren't much competition.

    I've had lots of success with it. You gota have the right pics, the info in your profile, know what kind of messages to send, and when to get them offline. It's really not that hard. This helped a lot: gentlemandating.blogspot.com

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  • I can assure you I am mediocre looking at best and I have had success dating on OKcupid. I have hooked up with 4 girls over 2 years from there and have had decent relationships with 2 of those.

    I use it as a supplement to the other ways I meet women, not as a sole source.

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  • It's quite worth it.

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  • It's not worth it, trust me! Your just going to waste your time and get frustrated in the process. Unless you look like Channing Tatum, no girl will talk to you.

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