Why doesn't she text me?

I have been going out with my best female friend of almost 5 years for a little over 2 months now, she makes it very clear that she is very into me in person and wants a relationship so I know the problem isn't because she isn't interested. She very very rarely texts me first and when she texts back they are usually short, emotionless texts that make me feel like I am just bugging her and she isn't interested in me. I tried to just completely not text her and wait for her to text me but that led to 3 days of no contact at all. I haven't kissed her yet and I plan to on out next date, but these mixed messages are confusing me very much. In person she seems to have fun and really like me, but other than that she seems to almost hate me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She is just being protective towards herself.

    She do not want to be so lovey dovey or joyful over texts when she does not know how you feel about her - as that possibly could pulls you away from her.

    If she knows you are interested too, possibly she sets the boundary that way until you show more.

    And girls like the boys to initiate first, so maybe you shouldn't wait for her text - just text whenever you want to, after all you guys are best friend!

    Also be careful if she is occupied with dating other guys as well - not to be seen as bad, but if she don't get good response from you, she possibly thinks she shouldn't wait. When she is occupied, that could lead to short, emotionless text - as she is entertaining other guys.

    But still could be many reasons to that. My advice is for you to show that you do like her too so that she feels comfortable talking to you. :)

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What Girls Said 13

  • The answer to your question: why doesn't she text me?, is very simple. Why does anyone do or do not do anything? The answer is this: we do the things we want to do, we don't do the things we don't want to do. So, in your case, she's not texting because she doesn't want to. I'm sorry, I know this doesn't make you feel good, but it's the plain & simple truth. You are essentially chasing after someone who doesn't want you to chase them.

    I suggest that you focus your energy on something or someone else. You are currently wasting your energy on this girl and causing yourself more frustration and pain.

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  • It sounds like she's playing by the book. If she shows interest in person, then remember what the rules are: Girls should not be the one to text first. Girls should make themselves mysterious, so they should keep their answers short. Girls should not divulge information unless the guy asks for it.

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  • Since you have been friends for 5 years (maybe close friends?) I don't think the "rules book" should apply here and probably the best thing you can do is just ask her directly. Maybe you have different expectations or ideas of what a relationship is or where do you want things to go. Think it would be nice to discuss that sometime.

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  • I went to an all girls school and basically every single one of us agreed the guy started the convo, that was just it. I can't explain why but unless we had a specific question that couldn't wait we wouldn't start the conversation. I personally have been told by guys that when I text I'm cold and emotionless and don't make an effort and that surprises me actually because I didn't see it that way. He asked a question, I answered. If she is telling you face to face that she wants to be in a relationship then I would believe it 100% because face to face is a lot more intimate than text. And she is probably going frantic having not heard from you in the last few days and because you usually start the conversation she will be asking what she has done wrong. Feeling like that she will absolutely not text first because she is feeling so insecure. My advice is text her, meet up, perhaps bring up the problem gently and go from there.

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  • I'm not speaking for all girls. But usually we'll wait for the text or the call cause we don't want to chase. We want to see if you want it. A lot of the times I'll wait for a guy to hit me up first because I don't want to look desperate. If you contact her & she doesn't respond then I would leave it alone. But just try and see what happens

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  • I think that she likes you because she responds and because of how she acts in person. She might just have a wall up. Try calling. Maybe that's what she prefers instead.

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  • did you try calling her to say hi and meet up?

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  • SHe sounds really shy you should try harder to break her out of her shell.

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  • Girls usually wait for the guy to text back

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  • she wants you to chase her since she already said all of those things to you.

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  • well I think she wants you to chase her or is just shy, maybe she will stop being like that when you get in a relationship or get to know each other more.

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  • Maybe she's insecure so she waits for you to text her. Maybe she isn't that into texting, because edge doesn't know what to say. If it concerns you, just mention it to her next time you guys see each other. Don't make a big deal of it, try to make light of it with humor. That way she won't feel accused of anything, and she'll be more open to discussing it without putting her guard up.

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  • maybe she doesn't like texting...

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What Guys Said 0

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