I'm so confused about my appearane

I know this is a weird thing to say but I get random compliments on my appearance a lot and in general most people find me attractive but whenever I date a guy they seem to like pointing out my flaws? Like a week ago I was stopped on the street by someone saying "I don't want to sound weird but you are gorgeous" and then my ex would talk down to me and if I ate something unhealthy he would comment on my weight, which is extra unfair because I'm in eating disorder recovery (was hospitalized for a year after being anorexic for 10) so of course this would upset me. I just don't understand because they seem like such extremes and I've never dated anyone who's made me feel pretty it's mostly just strangers. I feel like I'll never get to have someone think I'm perfect like my sisters boyfriend does with her and I feel like I try really hard for it (work out 6 times a week, count my macronutrients, wax, manicured etc) it's just getting so exhausting for me to still feel like no one will ever be 100% attracted to me


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I just got out of a relationship with a guy like that, too. I think it's feelings of low self worth that attract those kind of people in the first place. I don't think it's possible to find someone who thinks you're perfect (that's usually an act & a form of manipulation, in my opinion), but finding someone who genuinely values your good qualities enough to put up with your bad seems to exist because I see it happening for people.

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What Guys Said 2

  • "[...] and then my ex would talk down to me [...]"

    Well, there ya go. A pretty good reason why he's your ex. Find a better guy who will treat you right. I'm telling you, they're out there. In the meantime, don't dwell on your appearance.

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  • you take peoples comments too heavily. to them, it's just a split second thought that they never think of again. to you, it's something that could make you ponder for hours.

    not everyone is going to have the same reaction to you. you won't please everyone, no matter who you are. some will think you're gorgeous, and some think you won't.

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    • So true, thank you! I'm 22 and still remember a comment someone said to me when I was 9 about how I should try slimfast haha, she probably doesn't even remember who I am.

What Girls Said 2

  • just try to get over it

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  • well your ex was insecure and you shouldn't take his word on how you look.

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