If females hate cocky and arrogant guys why do they date them?

Why is it when a women or girl says, she hates a guy whose cocky and arrogant their usually the ones that get dates? But the guys who are shy and nice etc get pushed to the side? I'm asking to be serious. If your gonna sit there and call me rude or misogynists I'll block you.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't, because that attitude just grates on me. I always try to be polite, but it's hard not to roll your eyes every five seconds. Some girls don't mind it though, maybe because they're genuinely not bothered by it, or the guy has other qualities that make up for it in her mind. Also, I'm thinking cocky/arrogant guys approach girls a lot, so the likelihood that they find a girl to date is higher than the shy, nice guy who doesn't. Maybe he runs into me, and I'm not interested, but he brushes it off and asks another girl who says yes.

    I date confident guys though, and shy or reserved, (actually) nice guys are pretty cool too if they'll talk to you. Mostly it's me initiating things with the latter kind of guy, if I want to, and that's okay. However, the reality is that not a lot of girls do that.

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    • My problem is I'm just too shy to talk to girls I don't know unless, I'm at a store and I'm talking to one of the girls that works there helping me out. Now here comes I'm lying bs about to be thrown my way.

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    • Trust me I am and I'm not lying its like working and getting paid, of course people are gonna hire the good looking people first, same thing goes for community service.

    • give this girl the best answer

What Girls Said 8

  • Some girls look for a challenge, sometimes subconsciously. So a guy like that may be attractive to them because they represent kind of a project. And they hope that they can win him over in such a way that he'll be the sweet [to her] guy of her fantasies. This usually isn't the case because people don't change unless they're ready and want to change.

    Most girls find confidence attractive. Arrogance and cockiness are sometimes confused with confidence. They're attracted to the guy and the confident aspect of his personality, so they tend to overlook some of the more negative aspects of those traits.

    As XRabbitHeartX pointed out, some guys act very differently around their friends than they do around a girl they like. They may act like cocky jerks around their friends to keep up appearances and gain 'status'. With their girl, they may be much more sweet and caring. In mixed company, they may float somewhere in between.

    A lot of girls end up with jerky guys BECAUSE he was awesome and sweet at the start. Sometimes it's an act he puts on to attract the girl and get her attached, and then later his true colors come out. The girl may not be happy anymore, but she's attached and clings to the image of how he 'used to be', hoping he'll change and things will go back to 'normal' again. Other times something in the relationship may change [real or perceived] and he may be irritable with his girl, often for stupid little things that ordinarily wouldn't bother him. Some guys when irritable turn into as.sholes, even if that's not how they 'normally' act, and if they're perceiving a problem in their relationship, they may not talk about it or try to work it out, so they'll be perpetually irritable, and probably mean and rude as a result.

    Some girls have low self-worth and subconsciously seek out guys like that as a way to punish themselves, because they truly feel they're not worth having better, that they deserve to be treated badly, just because they feel badly about themselves. There's a saying that goes something like 'you show people how to treat you', and another that is something like 'you attract the respect you feel you deserve'. Not necessarily on the surface, but subconsciously, and other people pick up on those subconscious cues better than we can ourselves.

    It can also be any combination of those factors. I'll admit that I've fallen into the 'low self-worth' category a few times, and ended up with someone who really wasn't good for me. It was never on purpose, but being conscious of it now, I go out of my way to demand more respect than that, even when I don't feel like I deserve it.

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  • There's several reasons:

    1. Guys don't always see the sweet side of another guy. Like you think "omg that guy is arrogant or cocky" but truth is, you're not there when they are together and remember, guys are often different around girls then they are with their boys. I can talk from experience. I used to date a guy who yes, was arrogant I admit, but with me he would be very kind and caring. However when he's around guys I can tell he is flaunting his cocky side which would make any guy believe him to be just that, but around me he's different.

    2. Majority of girls don't like to be treated like crap and may put up with a arrogant guy initially when honeymoon phase is still going, but eventually she'll leave him and see the light.

    3. There may be women who find it attractive. Who knows. We all like different things in a partner, even if it makes no sense to others. And these women would definitely be in the minority and may have a complex of some sort.

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  • Just because women date guys who don't lack self-esteem or confidence doesn't mean women date cocky or arrogant guys

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    • And why should I believe this? Give me one good reason?

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    • I do know how to read

      I just don't care about what you believe. You come on here, throw constant pity parties for yourself and expect everyone to feed your own bs to you. I have no sympathy for you

      Girls don't want you so therefore girls only like cocky and arrogant guys. boohoo, get the f over yourself

    • And your answer makes no sense. Even if a guy as 0 confidence women will still date him if he is good looking. And even the second part makes 0 sense because its the same think as point number 1. If the guy is good looking, women will over look his cockiness and arrogance.

  • I agree with you. Personally I think girls go for these guys because their interesting in a challanging way. Also just my opinion but shy quiet guys are pushed aside because their not 'standing out' cocky arrogant idiots stand out. Sometimes cockyness can be mistaken by confidence but you can't mistake arrogance. I am one who says this now and I do avoid them type of lads but I have dated in the past both arrogant and cocky guys and believe me it does not last unless you are a person with serious patience and tollerance

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  • Because the women that date these men have a fantasy in their minds that they can change them. I personally know beautiful women who date guys that are jerks and cocky and very possesive yet I can never understand why these women go for these types of guys because the women I know are shy

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  • i hate them and I don't date them ever

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  • Probably going to get downvoted, but some of those cocky and arrogant guys are softies once you get to know them. Their outside image may portray cockiness and arrogance, however their inside is opposite.

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    • So are the nice quite guys but they get pushed to the side and if women want ''Nice Guy's'' why do they still pick the jerks?

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    • @caliatheway1993 you have a lot to learn and I say that with respect.

    • Im a cocky a**hole and I still like furry little animals. I just hate people.

  • because we know its an actually and they're actually sweet inside.

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What Guys Said 13

  • Well, cocky guys are confident. Confidence is attractive. You can't really blame women, if I was a woman I'd date a bunch of cocky guys too. Of course, what they really want is a good guy, or at least... They want that confident guy to turn out a good guy. Unfortunately they usually turn out to be a**holes (big surprise), but hey, sh*t happens.

    Men too, we want a "lady in the streets, ho between the sheets"... but mostly end up with a "ho in the streets" and hope we can straighten her out to be more lady like in general.

    People are stupid really.

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  • Because it is often mistaken for confidence

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  • i seriously can't truly answer that since I am a guy

    BUT

    if you are 'shy' and 'nice' then you probably approach less women per year than cocky and by logic the more you approach the more you get better. and the more you have a chance to find a girl.

    also nice guys don't move things ahead that if they got passed their shyness and even talked to the girl or asked for her number and eventually get friend zoned.

    you remind me of a pic that really shows how nice guys act

    link

    a girl obviously want you to kiss her but she want you to make the smooth move and move things ahead.

    ahh I had more to say but nobody gonna read it anyway so...

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  • you need to work on your self esteem my man .

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  • Dude, do you seriously expect an honest answer from them?

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    • LOL good point. But so many female users on here, think I hate women? So much even though I'm asking a question so I can try to change, but yet they attack me for asking.

    • Many women think I hate them too but I don't give a damn sh*t about it. They attack when they see they're not going to get their way with you. Just like children throwing a tantrum.

  • Every masculine is a jerk SOMETIMES... myself included.

    Many girls tolerate the side effect of occasional arrogance because the confidence is THAT important.

    Similar to possible side effect of medications. The active ingredients are DESIRED so much, that the known risk of the side effect is worth it to that person.

    Same way with girls with the desire for the active ingredient (confidence) with the known risk of the side effects (occasional arrogance, occasional jerkiness, occasional narcissism, etc. )

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  • What they say they want and what they end up with are 2 different things

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  • Cocky and funny works, cocky and mean is not going to.

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  • Dude stop complaining I'm not attractive and I accept it. they want attractive confident guys that's all there is too it.

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  • The same reason men date hot bitches.

    Liking and attracted to are not the same thing.

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  • They're mentally unstable and have daddy issues.

    That's why.

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    • Women think their like a Burger King? They have to realize they can't always have it their way.

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    • Lmao. It's more powerful than any atomic bomb, I know that much.

  • There's a fine line between arrogance and confidence. Girls love confidence but e line isn't typically clear

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  • maybe because those girls like guys like that but they simply lie about it

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