What Can I do to get him to WANT to be EXCLUSIVE??

I have been seeing a great guy for the past 3 weeks... We get along so well and have so much in common , are supper attracted to each other, he loves my dog, he takes me out to nice dinners and he chooses to spend his most valuable free time with me (and we end every date with him asking me out for a future date). We both haven't been exclusively dating each other (which I'm not fully use to). I found out that he was suppose to go on a date with a girl I know and I think he's divorced (he doesn't know that I figured that part out)... I confronted him about the girl I know and he was understanding and canceled that date for me... But now I know he's still having first dates with new women witch bothers me a little (my going out with other guys was because they asked me out and they were mostly guys I've dated prior, I wasn't looking and reject most guys who ask me out)... He told me that he likes me a lot and he will wait to have sex when I'm ready, but I know that I'll only enjoy it if we're exclusive (I haven't told him why I'm waiting). I can tell I'm his first pick girl but how do I get a guy who's recently single to want to be exclusive with me? We live in a very populated area where most women won't make a guy wait, is my waiting for sex realistic or will that eventually push him away? Do guys mostly wait till after sex to decide if they want a relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You can't make him want to be exclusive; he has to want that himself. Three weeks isn't very long, and it sounds like you two are enjoying each others' company, so just keep seeing him and enjoying your dates together. He'll let you know when he's ready to make a move sexually; when he does, just tell him something like, "Not until we're in a committed relationship." I have the same standard for myself, so there's nothing wrong with communicating that expectation to him.

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    • he has in other ways.. We've err gone down on each other (I of course turned that down the first few dates until we had a really special one).. he's asked me when we were making out etc. what do you want to do & when I paused he chimed in & said I really like you so I'll wait (meaning for sex). We have a nice romantic date coming up.. I know he really wants to sleep with me & he even keeps a tooth brush for me..But you agree it's not a smart idea to sleep with him until he's ready to commit?

    • I would agree with that. My personal preference is to wait until I'm in a relationship.

What Guys Said 2

  • you can't do anything baout it

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  • You can't make a guy want something. He either wants it or he doesn't.

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    • what if it's what he ultimately wants but isn't ready for it... there's nothing a girl does that makes you want to only see her? My friends play games & manipulatively get what they want while I tend to be real and usually around this point a guy starts to gradually lose interest.. I'm always super confident with dating & I am on dates I'm just insecure about the 4-6th date because it's usually when a guy backs out because he doesn't want a relationship etc. (& they can tell that I like them by now)

    • If he's not ready for it, then he doesn't want it.

What Girls Said 2

  • i think you should just act as if you don't expect anything and maybe he will decide to do something

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  • i think that you need to make him wait, that way you will know if he's really into you, and then after more weeks you can see if he wants to be in a relationship, its only been 3 weeks! you can only ask because you can't force him.

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    • I don't expect one right now I'm just worried I'll do something wrong... B/C a guy might get sick of waiting in like two weeks from now...Or will see me less because he isn't ready but it's too hard to see me a lot and not sleep with me (internal pressure for him) I'm prob thinking to much lol

    • just tlak ot him about it, tell him how you feel.

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