Will dating someone with a very ghetto/dysfunctional family be a deal breaker for you?

I have recently began dating this individual who I have known since elementary school. He lives in my neighborhood so I have seen some of the dysfunction from his family for myself. His family consist of thugs, brothers who sell and smoke drugs with multiple kids, women in the family with multiple kids and nothing else to show for their lives and constant fighting and arguing among themselves. I was reluctant to even hold a conversation with him because from what I have seen happening at his house from my front yard. I took the time out to actually have a conversation with him and to get to know him just to find out that he is actually a good person who does not engage in the same activity that his family does. He is trying to better himself but me just knowing how dysfunctional his family is really is bothering me and I do not want to judge him based on their actions which is clearly something he can't change. Now I understand that every family has their share of dysfunction but I come from a family with a strong church background and we are all very close and I am just not use to the dysfunction. He is very serious about me and I like him as well but I know I just can't put up with his family. Will I be wrong to break it off just for that reason.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you cannot put up with his family, you should really reconsider seeing him.

    We come as a package deal with our families and unless he is going to move away from them and never see them, they will be a part of his life, and a part of yours, in some way. He could end up being the one who rescues all the dysfunctional people in his family considering he sounds more likely to be able to AND that is what a caring a nice person would probably want to do for their family.

    Personally, my ex husband is a sweet heart that I love dearly, but he struggles to break away from a lifestyle that they all embrace in some way. Many members of his family are alcoholics and it is like a badge of honor to drink yourself to passing out, even when you are 60 years old. The men in his family are all cheaters and he has done the same. They also are all about earning money, so you can drive a certain car or wear certain clothes, but then have no time for your kids or your wife. He wants to be different, he wants to change, but really he gets little support from the people he is closest to because of their shared beliefs. It's hard to truly break away. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 3

  • I would not put up with that.. I've had my fair share of seeing this and I just moved on, not something I wanted to deal with.

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  • i wouldn't date a girl likr that

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  • I don't think it's wrong to break up with him for that reason, especially if you have an inkling that he is involved with it too. Close family and friends can pressure him to do those things.

    As for me, I don't know if I would disregard them unless they were involved, and I wouldn't want any prolonged interaction with their family. I can't really speak on it accurately because I haven't been in that situation.

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What Girls Said 2

  • i wouldn't go out with a guy like that. I wouldn't want to ge tin all those problems and danger.

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  • i don't think so, as long as the person does not share their bad attitudes

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