Would this bother you guys?

My girlfriend is in the habit of not texting me first, anymore. Before we started dating, and a few months into our relationship she would always text me first, sometimes she would ask random questions/send random comments just to get a conversation started. For the past 2 months I have had to text her first, if not we would go the entire day, and probably the next without hearing from each other. She is also the type of person who likes to "test" people so I am not sure if that is what she is doing. We have been together for 9 months now. I know she is not extremely busy or anything of the sort.

Would this bother anyone else?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yup... I'd hate that. I think things should come from both sides in a relationship, even with texting. It's nice to feel wanted every now and then and I understand if it's bothering you. I'd have a chat with her and ask her why she stopped making a effort to talk. If she's a person who likes tests and mind games then you need to tell her that you're her boyfriend and being tested constantly is a bit disrespectful. Cause it really, really is! Mind games generally are completely stupid anyway, and immature. Just tell her the truth in a friendly, non threatening way.

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    • Thank you. I do agree, mind games are tiring and unnecessary, and 9 months in they are completely disrespectful. I have talked to her before but she uses the same excuse, "I'm sorry, I've just been busy all day" even though when I ask her what she was up to it takes her awhile to respond or she gives me a generic "running errands, too much stuff" answer.

    • The problem here is she's taking you for granted. She stopped making a effort because she got too comfortable in this relationship which I think happens in long term relationships but that's still no excuse. Please talk to her about this because she's being a really bad girlfriend!

    • I will, she now decided it is okay to take hours to reply to my text. Apparently she was too busy to do so, again.

What Girls Said 6

  • She might be trying to avoid looking "clingy." If not she may be losing interest. Talk to her about it.

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  • maybe something is wrong, you should talk to her.

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  • yes I wouldn't let her do that stuff. I wouldn't be with aperson like that.

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  • yes, it would totally piss me off sometimes

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  • Bothers me too so I see why you're annoyed.

    Two possible reasons:

    Like you said she is testing to you to see if you really like her, although that's odd since its been nine months

    Or she has become comfortable in the relationship and feels like she doesn't need to put in as much of an effort. When you're first dating she wanted to keep you interested, now she feels like she doesn't need to do that anymore.

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    • I am hoping she isn't testing me, I would hope by now that we are past that stage.

      Being comfortable is fine, but it would be nice to hear from her first. It shows that she actually thinks about me...although sometimes I get the feeling that she doesn't. Last week I hugged her and she refused to let me go, "I miss your hugs, please don't leave yet." I held her for a good hour in silence, it was nice.

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    • that's odd... but other than this whole texting thing it sounds like your relationship is good, so try not to worry too much unless there are other signs that come up.

    • That is why it bothers me. I have told her countless times that the long hours to reply ends up being a huge turn off. Its funny that my friends reply back in minutes, but it takes her hours.

  • Yeah.. that pisses me off. The guys I've dated in the past were thee most boring blunt texters ever. Like you, I enjoy random funny messages. But perhaps she wan'ts you to do some of the good morning hello texts for a change. As for the testing, she's nothing but a typical concerned girlfriend.

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    • I used to text her good morning, constantly. At one point it started taking her hours to reply, and often times she did not even reply back. I eventually stopped. I have also realized that I have been texting her first for longer than 2 months actually. Things have gotten better in respect to our relationship so I'm not sure if I should be concerned or not.

What Guys Said 1

  • it would bother me

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