Are there more deeper reasons as to why a person is hopeless when it comes to dating, relationships and love?

I am officially the last person in my family (including close cousins) and circle of friends who has never dated, been in a relationship or even had sex. Now it's got me thinking, why and how did I end up in this position? I'm 24 and even those who are much younger than me (even by 7-10 years) have been more successful with the opposite sex than I.

Sure, I'm shy and awkward and socially anxious so that definitely factors into it for sure. But I know people with the same personality traits as I that still manage to get somewhere. And I have put myself out there but it just hasn't happened for me.

Could there be more complex and deep-rooted reasons as to why such a person isn't successful in the dating game? I'm talking about things beyond shyness and lack of confidence etc.


0|0
5|5

Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not alone. I'm 24 years old as well and have never even held hands with a girl. Like you, I'm shy and socially anxious, though I have gotten much better about that over the years, but still I get no positive reactions from women. I thought that maybe I was just ugly, so I put my picture on Hot or Not a few years back to see, and I got an 8.4 average, so I can't be that bad looking, yet I can't say that I've ever even seen a girl check me out, let alone attempt to flirt with me. Every girl I've asked out or told I liked over the years has either turned me down or told me that they only saw me as a friend.

    I once read an article about why nice guys never get the girl, while douches have girls crawling all over them, and that is that those guys exude confidence. I've talked to women about this on here and on other places and what I found is that a very large number of women say that confidence is one of the most important traits they look for in a boyfriend. So I've tried to be confident, but still no luck. So I've come to the conclusion that I just haven't found my perfect match yet, or that I'm just not meant to ever date or get married.

    1|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • not really its all in your mind, you can be who you want to be you just need to focus your intentions.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i think there are many things that influence the person, and most of them we can't control

    0|0
    0|0
  • Luck plays a part... sometimes people are just in the right place at the right time... and they meet someone compatible.

    You say people with the same qualities have dated... they may have lowered their standards more than you have.

    I rarely feel compatible with anyone, so I often come across that way... and I bet that puts people off.

    Maybe your situation is something like that :-\

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yes, if someone is depressed, things can be very hard in that area. Pay attention to yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i think there can be but not everybody is like that

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • Unfortunately, MUCH of this stems from your upbringing...

    When I was a child, my father taught me to hold women up in the highest regards (I.E. p**** on a pedestal), and in the process, basically taught me that they're unapproachable...

    So I grappled with that notion for over 20 years... but then I came to realize that women are nothing special - You can/should talk to them like any other random person... and you know what? It worked for me :)

    Just talk to any broad like you don't give a sh*t - and THAT will impress the hell out of them ;)

    0|2
    0|0
  • You have to come out of your comfort zone. Confidence is a big factor with women. You have your looks so make them work in your favor and just be yourself. You have to also remind yourself that you can do it and that you're a good catch. You have to get the thoughts about failure out of your head and think about success.CONFIDENCE!

    0|1
    0|0
  • unfortuneately, a guys upbringing will impact him way more than a girls upbringing will impact her

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yes, including subconscious self-sabotage, body language mismatch, emotional / psychological trauma, and/or just being disinteresting all around.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...