I recently came out of a two year relationship where I never had a dull moment. We constantly texted during the day/night and the conversation was always interesting. I just started dating a guy I like and when we are together we talk about a million different things but when he's texting me the conversation quickly runs dry. I'm trying my best but it doesn't seem to go anywhere. Should I let it die off? Or what? hah thanks!
Most Helpful Guy
First of all, you have to understand something about the way men and women communicate and how we bond.
During conversation, endorphins are released in women that create a high and a sense of emotional attachment. This is why women love to text/call their BF's and friends. It's why teenage girls can send thousands of texts a month but the boys rarely break 1000. Girls like to talk to their Boyfriend through text because of the emotional attachment and bond she feels when doing so. It's like sex for her brain.
The equivalent for men, is physical closeness and physical touch. Men bond through thinks like holding hands, cuddling, sex, sitting next to each other, sleeping in bed together, etc. This is why a guy can be just sitting and staring at a TV, but as long as you are next to him, he seems content and happy. It's because to him, he's bonding. Just being near you is giving him a high and making him feel closer to you. This is also why guys will sometimes seem like they can't keep their hands off of you. It's like you not being able to put the cell phone down.
What this means is that guys just don't get the same type of stimulation through conversation, especially when its not in person. Texting and talking on the phone is more of a burden than it is a form of entertainment for us. Because a woman's willingness to text and talk to a guy is generally tied closely to how she feels about him, women assume that for men it must work the same way, but it doesn't. She assumes that if a guy isn't texting her, then he must not be very interested. This also leaves out the fact, that many guys prefer not to keep you updated about everything because then they have nothing to talk about when you are together. You'll already know how his day was. What fun is that?
Now this doesn't mean guys completely hate texting all the time, or that we don't enjoy conversing with you. Don't get me wrong, having a deep connected conversation with a women is an orgasmic experience in and of itself, but again, over the phone just doesn't always have the same effect. Again, it just seems like more of a chore to have to keep picking up my phone.
I realize that this ends up being a big game of chicken. Which side is going to be forced into doing things the other genders way. I think we both know which way things are sided at the moment, but, I think you can do yourself a lot of good by learning to curb these feelings of yours. I have literally broken up with women because they complained too much about my lack of texting and would always accuse me of not caring about them because of it. Don't be that girl. Your Boyfriend should, want to talk with you, and a text here and there is OK to expect, but expecting him to having an hour conversation over text ever day, or to text you every 10min, is just not realistic. We're adults with busy lives, we don't have time for that.7