Is he playing it cool after sex?

Hey guys, I am just getting back into daring 14 months after a bad breakup. An army officer I work with peripherally started flirting with me about a month into my job and over the past 6 weeks we have been going out, texting daily and he has been making excuses to come by my office almost daily. He always initiates contact as I am pretty old school about letting men do the pursuing.

Thursday night was the first night we had sex. I left shortly after having sex (which was good). The next morning was the first morning in weeks that I did not get a "good morning" text. He did text me around 10 am with a very generic "what's up?" We texted back and forth for a few minutes with it culminating in him saying " I hope I didn't disappoint last night" to which I responded "I had a great time". I heard nothing from him the rest of the day. This morning (Saturday) I did get a "good morning" text and we texted back and forth for a few minutes but not the normal tone or flirty banter that we have been doing.

My question is this. Is he playing it cool after sex and looking for affirmation or is he just backing away? I feel like my radar is off after being out of the game for so long and could use some male perspective.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he is being coy and this is a way for him to control the relationship and be in the "driver's" seat. I used to do this to girls after the first time we had sex because most of the time it drove them crazy and they would seem to want me more - basically playing head games. You said it has been awhile since you have had sex and you said it was good so maybe he is using this to his advantage? He knows or thinks he's got you interested both emotionally and physically and that puts him in positiion to call the shots. And if he is military, those guys tend to be more type A and controlling. I guess you need to decide what kind of relationship this is going to be? If you want a real relationship the games will need to stop because it just breeds resentment especially if your a traditional girl - of course that doesn't mean you still can't be a freak in bed. If your just looking for sex and its good then just have sex if that's your style.

    Regardless, I think he should have texted the next day(manners matter), and also despite what they say, almost all guys like to hear they were good and pleased you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like things are going well to be honest, it's not like you guys aren't talking. Who knows why his personality slightly chnages

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  • is he a "player" that now has lost interest OR has he lost his bottle? you know in your heart of hearts,after all you slept wityh him... how did it go? what was your gut feeling? did he shair with you in a meaningful way- I mean talking?! I am trying too bring out what you sunconciously already know...

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    • We have been sharing and talking for almost 2 months. Don't think he is a player. He has been married twice. (The first wife passed away young). What I am trying to figure put is if he is reacting to my actions like leaving his house after sex. And no, sleeping with someone doesn't automatically afford me some elaborate insight into his thoughts. I guess ultimately it doesn't matter because I am not going to start calling him or texting, I guess I am just trying to feel a little better today

What Girls Said 2

  • well he might have been flirtier becuase he wanted to hook up but it wasn't just for that since he's still talking to you.

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  • i think he's a playe,r he jsut wanted to hook up.

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