How to overcome shyness?

So I met this girl online & thought she was cute so we went on a date today & have been texting a ton since we met. Only problem is she is really shy. She was on her phone of the time, didn't say much, and all she wanted to do was sit outside in the parking lot of the mall. She looked cute, but she had some body odor as well.She also seemed to complain a lot when she did talk. When she would talk, which wasn't much, she would say something and a complaint after about something around her. When we text however she is super nice & sweet & always saying how she really likes me. I like her, but I don't like those select few things. How can I make her less shy and actually want to do something besides sit around? How can I get her to wear a fragerance or something without being an a**hole? How can I change the way she complains about things & is it even worth it to go through all that to be with her? I could not date her if those things don't change.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • My feeling is that is not her true personality at all. Her true personality is coming out when she's texting you. She's probably overcome with anxiety around you and can't think of much to say because of that anxiety, which is why she's texting and complaining in your company. She's not trying to be rude but to deal with the anxiety and might not even be aware that she's doing it. She's just trying to think of something to say so she doesn't look stupid.

    However, the more time you spend with her the more comfortable she will become and the more she will open up to you. It'll take a little while for her to warm up but if you can be patient and persistently kind to her then she will come around. Might take a few weeks or something.

    I'd suggest to her some specific things to do so you're not just sitting around and that doesn't require a lot of conversation. Like, "Want to go bowling? They have $3 beer on tap." Some alcohol should loosen her up. Or "I've always wanted to go hiking near this waterfall. Want to go?" Etc. But she's going to have to meet you halfway. You can't just have dates where you sit together while she avoids you so you'll have to put your foot down.

    As far as b.o., that is more tricky because you can't just wait it out. You'll probably have to tolerate it before you can get to the point where you can suggest, "Oh, I love this fragrance. You should try it."

    These issues don't sound like deal breakers provided she will put forth effort but will require some patience. You'll have to make the call as to whether she seems like she will be worth the wait.

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What Girls Said 5

  • When she was with you and texting on her phone most of the time while on a DATE in person with you, that's not shy. That's someone being inconsiderate and rude.

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  • Don't tell her she has an odor instead go to the mall with her and walk into Bath and Body Works and ask her what her favorite scent is, or say try this on it smells amazing...then buy her the one she likes. (I don't know a girl doesn't love smelling good for her man it's possible she doesn't know she has a scent or is used to it)

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    • to do that he must be good looking because girls never want to be seen with a guy who isn't good looking

  • Move on, she sounds like a nasty annoying b*tch.. sorry

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  • Confidence is key

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  • I think you shoudl try to make her as comfortable as you can. Don't push ber just try to slowly crack herr sheel. When she seems interested or comfortable push it a little bit and that way she sill start getting comfortable

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What Guys Said 5

  • Oh God that's gross. She sounds like a fixer-upper. Just say like I think it'd be so hot if you worse this and this fragrance and used this body wash etc. "That would make you irresistible" Also do you try to lead her to different places and she's just like "no"? Are you afraid of getting physical?

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  • You can't change her personality. Obvious? You're asking how do I change how she complains which is her personality.

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  • basically got to keep stepping out of your comfort zone

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  • be good looking

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  • You should just talk and talk to her in person. That's the best way to overcome it.

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