Do I have to end things with one guy before I date another?

the first guy I've been seeing for almost 3 months and slept with. we are too busy to date at the moment. he more than I. he has told me I was the only girl he was sleeping with, which doesn't mean too much I know. he has told me he really likes me and I want to date him when he's ready. since he is not able to I've been seeing other guys and just keeping in touch with the other guy. he texts me every week or so and we might see each other once a week. the other guys are just to keep me entertained until the first guy can date or he shows me it isn't a possibility anymore and I can forget him. there's this guy that I've known a while who has started to show real interest and wants to date me. he is being really persistant and its harder to hold out for the guy I barely talk to. its complicated because the first guy is a family friend and knows half of my family and some of my friends. and we've had sex. I feel like I should tell him I'm going to be dating someone else but I'm open to something with him if he wants that. should I do that to be courteous? what if I don't? if I don't I will just put on Facebook I'm in a relationship and maybe that's better? I have no idea how to go about this. I like the first guy a lot, the second guy is just available at the moment and I don't want to miss out while waiting on the first. I want to do this in a way where the first guy knows I would rather be with him, but gets the message I'm not going to just wait for him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You are in an exclusive sexual relationship with the first guy. He has made it clear that that's his understanding and expectation of your current relationship, and to date, you seem to have said nothing to make him think otherwise. Plus, it's also the societal "default" expectation with someone you're sleeping with, unless it's obviously not that way, such as a groupie sleeping with a rock star or something.

    So, IMO, you are obligated to either let your guy know that you aren't seeing enough of each other and you want a non-exclusive relationship with him until such time as you can resolve those issues, OR you need to break up with him. If you don't do one of those two things, you are CHEATING on him, and you can fully expect him to be hurt and angry when he finds out, which he is almost certain to do sooner or later.

    Try to imagine the roles were reversed, and you thought you were exclusive with a guy, and he went and slept with other girls. How would you feel about that?


What Girls Said 1

  • Does guy two know about guy one? If not then good. If so then you should assess if he is real or competing for you, as this can magnify his motivation to sway your feelings from the first guy to himself. Then sit down and write out a list of positives and negatives about each. Also write a scenario of what your future may look like with each one. Then decide if the first guy is worth skipping the second one for. By doing this you can decide which one is better for you and fits your view of your future better.