What should I do about my 12 year old cousin?

She's upset now because her 14 year old boyfriend dumped her for not having sex with him (and they've only been dating for a month). She thinks no other guy would want to date her because she's flat chested, has a flat butt, and abstinent (you know like the purity ring thing). I don't know exactly what to say to her. I don't want to say something stupid and cause her to sleep around for 'love'.

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Thank you guys much for the advice! Now I have a new problem...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your cousin is smart for not having sex with him. It's only been a month, he's clearly just a douche interested in her vagina, and she's way too young for sex. No REAL guy will mind if she's flat chested (and she's 12, she'll grow more -_-) or anything about her butt. A guy who loves her will love her for her personality (which, hell, even that's not fully developed and likely won't be for many more years).

    She shouldn't sleep around, she shouldn't just date casually, but she needs more confidence in herself and she needs to not even take dating at her age so seriously. Don't go too far, but don't think you've found the "LOVE OF MY LIFE FOR EVER AND EVER!" at that age. That's just not logical. Most guys at that age are all hormones at that point and haven't grown up either. She needs to focus on school and save dating, serious dating, for later in her life.

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What Guys Said 6

  • You're right that she shouldn't have slept with that guy. If she is not willing to do something, then she shouldn't feel guilty or feel pressured into doing it. If the guy can't understand that she doesn't want to sleep around, then it was right of him to leave.

    Try to comfort her. Tell her that every person is beautiful, including her. There are many things besides phsyical beauty that are important. A caring and kind personality is a very valuable trait. If she can develop that, that would be really great. She's only 12 years old. She can't expect to look like a model.

    A kid of 14 years old is in no way able to love her, provide financial stability, care for her, etc.

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  • Usually a girl like that tends to appreciate a long-term relationship more as they grow older in such a custom. Unfortunately for her, we boys also tend to be immature under the age of 19.

    I don't get why we make such a big deal over a woman's chest or butt, or whether she puts out or not. Rest assured, she will find someone eventually. She is still young after all; and with all honesty, it's too soon to expect something serious at that age.

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  • All you have to say.

    "Youre f***ing twelve. Grow up. Literally."

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  • That is really messed up and sad. She is only 12! She will mature physically and intellectually as she gets older! Maybe show her some examples of happy couples in a healthy relationship?

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    • And most importantly teach her to stay away from guys like that.

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    • Wow, how long did she date that jerk?

    • 30 days.

  • you tell her that she's way to young for any of that stuff anyway

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  • She's just 12, she has MANY years ahead of her. Good for her to not give in and have sex with someone when she's that young... At that age if all the boy wants is sex - he doesn't love her, or even care about her, he's just using her.

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    • That's hard for her to grasp because they were friends in middle school.

What Girls Said 6

  • what what wahaaaaat?

    sex+12?

    I say send the girl to become a nun.. she probably hasn't even started pubery, oh god...

    TELL HER TO GO PLAY WITH HER DOLLS...

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  • She is WAY too young to worry about sex it is probably for the better.

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  • She's a strong girl and I think she'll be fine.

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  • shes 12 are you serious her body hasn't even develpoed yet.she made the right choice,losing your vcard that early is crazy and she probably doesn't even have the hormones to want to.most guys are like that from an ealy age and she isn't even a teenn yet she's got nothing to worry about

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  • How are you people so calm about this? she is 12! I would lock her up!

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    • Why? She's not boy crazy. She hardly cares about dating. She's just having an insecure moment.

    • SHE IS 12!

    • 12 year olds can be insecure. And remember, that jerk was 14.

  • Your cousin is only 12, why in the rush?

    She has a whole life a head of her! Plus she is still growing into a women.

    Tel her that she is still young, there is no need to worry about one break up. IF that dude really like her, then he shouldn't be asking for your cousin to sleep with him, and the worst part of everything is that they are both not an adult!

    IF she doesn't want to risk being a mom at a pre-teen then she should wait until the right guy comes along.

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    • No, I think it'd be worst if he wasn't a minor, otherwise I think he would have manipulated her into sleeping with him (or wouldn't care for her consent at all).

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