Having dated online for some time I notice a lot of girls would just disappear without notice. It's only a first date so I assume no click.
So lately I have been on a "strictly coffee" basis. But if I wanted to do something more the thing is I have gotten tired of girls just flat out disappearing after a date without notice. I live on my own and can't afford to be shelling out money left and right to a bunch of strangers looking for freebes.
So how many girls would be offended at "going dutch" when I don't know the person yet? I wouldn't mind paying for a date if I knew that they were not going to be another girl pulling a disappearing act but it's been so common. They're nice to my face but then I get in touch with them later and I get no response back.
Most Helpful Girl
Not at all offended if we go dutch on the first date. Life is expensive, I live on my own and am fully aware of the cost of things. It's not unreasonable for the first few dates while you are still trying to figure out the person, that you expect them to pay for theirs and you yours.
Definitely talk about this during the date. Some girls get highly offended as it's old tradition that guys are to pay. But honestly, it is ridiculous to expect the guy to pay every time, when you might not even see the guy again. Back in the day, the guy paid because typically the guy worked and the girl didn't. Now a days, that's not so true.
It's definitely a nice gesture to pay for the girl, but I wouldn't be offended if you didn't. Most of the coffee dates I went on, I paid, and I had no malice for the guys who didn't. In fact, most didn't pay and I was fine with that.
Now my current boyfriend paid for our dinner (I paid for my tea and he paid for his coffee when we initially met). But as the date went on he paid for dinner, and continues to pay. But I buy groceries and make him dinner all the time so we are even :)
Like you said, dates are expensive. Especially if you are going out with different people trying to get to know them. So a girl gets upset you didn't pay, well life goes on. Obviously she doesn't share the same views as you do. Find a girl who doesn't care if you pay or not. Sounds to be like that would be a better match. Or maybe make it clear that you don't mind paying for dates once you two are in a relationship, but before then you would like to go dutch as it gets expensive after a while.
Any girl who puts up a fight on that reasonable request isn't worth your time.