guys: the long-term game?

So recently I've noticed a pattern in (some of) the people I've been dating: for one reason or another, guys want to keep me in their lives long term but they won't fight for me...

There was the guy who got scared when we started dating, didn't make a move, assumed I wasn't interested because I didn't make one, and that was that...

There was my very recently ex-boyfriend who I dumped because he wasn't doing his part to make our LDR work, but who maintains contact w me because he wants to get back together when he moves to my city.

After I dumped him, I took up with an old flame who I broke things off with last year because he was interested in more than I was...now we have an understanding that we're in an ongoing open relationship of sorts: we'll always be around each other (for like the next ten years), date other people, we'll never commit to each other, but will have periods (like now) where we see each other frequently and have a lot of amazing sex. The word that seems appropriate here is "lovers." He has told me he wants to keep me around always, and is glad I'm leaving for a year in three weeks so it doesn't get too serious. (I am not in a place to want to be in a relationship with him, and I'm very happy with this "free" arrangement.)

I don't get what it is with these guys: if you like me that much, why not just go for it? Or do these guys just not like me that much?


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What Guys Said 1

  • First guy was just a little awkward and bad at picking up signals.

    Second guy can't handle a long distance relationship at the moment, maybe work or something similar? Or maybe he wants to start your new relationship off on a good foot where you can actually see each other face to face.

    Third guy, you're not looking for a long term thing, and you left him for loving you too much, so why do you expect him to want something long term?

    In all of these guys it seems like you've either broken it off at one point or didn't do anything about it. I don't see why you expect these guys to fight for you when you're not fighting for them back? I don't think there should be any metaphorical fighting at all, really.

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    • Fair enough, I have done a lot of rejecting. But I give them opportunities, & if thy make the effoet, they could have it, but they don't...but then I hear a lot about the long term thing btwn us, from ewch of em.

    • Exactly Stark -

      Women want us to want through fire for them, when they won't even lift a finger.

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