We had sex...now what? we aren't dating!

I really like this guy and want to be in a relationship, we finally had sex for the first time and now things seem different and we Haven't hung out since... does he want a relatioship?

Updates:
we have still been talking just not hanging out in person
He asked me to the movies :) I had sex with him because I like him and we hung out all the time... He had a death in the family .. He's been there for them! Soo thanks all the people saying don't have sex before a relationship. It can be hard but it does work out

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you want a relationship, you MUST get the relationship BEFORE you have sex. That's when you have leverage to get a reluctant guy to trade away his "free agent penis" for a steady relationship. If he's had sex with you already, your leverage with him is mostly gone.

    Also, and this may not apply in your case, but if you have sex with a guy too quickly, he will assume that you have sex with OTHER guys just as quickly, and outside of a relationship, and he won't respect you anymore. He'll still happily bang you for a while, but any desire to make you his girlfriend will be long gone. Just because he wants sex, and will happily have it with you, doesn't mean he won't hold it against you if you let him.

    While I can't say for sure that you've completely ruined your chances with this guy, the chances that's true are pretty high, and would explain why he isn't hanging out with you anymore. It sucks you had to learn your lesson this way, but hopefully you DO *LEARN* the lesson and learn it well.

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What Guys Said 6

  • He most likely doesn't want a relationship if he hasn't spoken to you in days.

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    • we have been texting and snapchatting just not hanging out in person

    • That's not as bad. He may just be nervous or something. Give him a little more time before worrying.

  • sounds like you got played he f***ed you and either the sex was bad or he just wanted a one time deal if you REALLY want him keep engaging and try to hang out more...

    or ask him outright if he wants a relationship with u...

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  • yes he must

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  • Sounds like he just wanted to get into your pants. Him not hanging out with you since is your sign that he was just interested in you for sex.

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  • I don't think he wants a relationship with you. If you wanted a relationship with this guy then you should have waited before having sex. That's my opinion.

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  • If you want a relationship, why did you f*** him already?

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    • Her best move is to keep f-cking him and get him to like and care about her enough that he wants a relationship, girls work backwards, they want the relationship first

    • lol Are you him?

    • @update: Sure. It does sometimes. Usually it doesn't. How's it working out for you?

What Girls Said 3

  • Sounds like he just used you for sex. That's why women who want relationships shouldn't have sex BEFORE they get in a relationship with the guy. I mean come on, it's common sense.

    Having sex with a man will NOT make him want a relationship. Too many women think that by giving it up, it will make him want her when in reality, if he just wanted the p***y then once he gets it, why would he stick around?

    Don't get me wrong, I don't know this guy obviously. I'm just basing this opinion off of the information you gave here in this question. Even if you still "talk", that doesn't really mean anything. I'm not trying to be mean so I apologize if it's coming across that way, I'm just calling it like it typically is when women sleep with the guy too soon.

    BUT, don't be too discouraged from my answer. See how the next few weeks go and if he offers to see you again. If he does not, then more than likely he just wanted the sex and that was it. You can't make him have a relationship with you though, he either wants it or he doesn't. And if he doesn't, then you should just use this as a learning experience and move on to a man more suited to your needs and someone who wants the same thing as you.

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  • Who typically initiates hanging out before you had sex?

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  • No. Don't contact him. leave him alone. He will come back. Trust me.

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