How can I change the relationship to dating?

I am talking to this college football player and we have hung out a couple of times. The first time we hung out we had sex and the next day he text me saying "I like you a lot." We hung out again and the same thing happen but we haven't went out anywhere. I'm confused if I'm becoming more of a friends with benefits or could we actually date in the future?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Put the whole sex argument aside for a moment. The main focus is you wanting to start dating in a more traditional manner. If you like the sex, why stop. If you want to slow it down, tell him.

    Since you want to date, TELL him. "Hey, how would you like to go get dinner sometime?" or more forward, ask him directly what he means by "I like you a lot". Right now it means he enjoys the sex. Twice hanging out, twice in the sack, that's golden. I'd like any girl a lot who I had a fun time with but that doesn't mean I had a bigger connection.

    Ask him what he thinks of Dating. Would he like to go somewhere, do some activity.

    If he is willing (or better yet, excited) to go do something date-like with you, then BAM! you're dating. If instead, he prefers to go back to your/his place and get naked, then you know his thoughts also.

    You can test this by proposing a date which ends up with no possibility of sex afterward. Like a lunch date between work shifts or before work/school etc. Or meeting for brunch on a weekend before you have plans to hang out with some other friends of yours.

    Best of luck, and ignore anyone who says you're easy for having sex so quick. If you want it, go for it. Just understand that what you think and he think from it could be different. So talk.

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What Guys Said 6

  • You slept with him too soon, so the relationship is leaning towards FWB, just lean back a little, minimize the conversations to texts or phone calls for some time so he starts wondering what the f*** happened, and when he becomes a little bit more intrigued by your sudden blaseness, tell him you'd like to do some cool things together, prehaps hell even ask you out on dates himself.

    hey can you check out some songs for me on YouTube, message me for details.

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  • I think the pattern is set..the 'dates' will be only quick sex from now on...

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  • Does hanging out ever involve other people or like ... eating ... or anything other then hooking up?

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    • No just talking and hooking up.

    • Agree with Vendrix. If you were out of school, his behavior would definitely be saying 'you're just a hookup'. Given you're in school, his behavior is PROBABLY saying that, but its not as clear, so go for it (a non sex doing stuff together hangout) and see.

  • Sounds like you are just a f*** buddy. If you want a 'dating' relationship - don't put out so quickly.

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  • Most doods probably aren't guna want a relationship with a girlie who bent over after hanging out one time. It just gives off a bad vibe. Buuut you might have a chance to date him. Purpose a date but don't have sex with him. If you ever want to find out if a dood likes you don't have sex with him for a good long while. If he sticks around, he definitely does

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  • You are not really anything at this point. If I had to put a label on it maybe friend with benefits? If you wanted to date the person or have a relationship this was the wrong way to try to start one.

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What Girls Said 2

  • The fact that you had sex with him the first time you hung out pretty much stomps any chance of you two becoming something genuin. A guy wants to feel like he has something with you that is special that he had to work for. You didn't make him work at all so there is challenge for him. He already got what he wanted from you so easily that any effort that may come about in a relationships is going to throw him off big time. Don't have sex with a guy the first time you hang out, or even the second or the third! Make him see that you are something worth waiting for and working for. You deserve more than being someone's friend with benefits. Don't give your whole self to a guy unless you know that there is something amazing between the two of you emotionally, spiritually, and mentally before you go all the way physically. A really good guy is going to respect that and value it. <3 hope this helps!

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  • You put out the first night? And then again the second? Yeah, you're just an easy lay. Sorry. "I like you a lot" means "I like that you put out so easy and I think if I say this to you, you'll continue to put out for me." So...there you go.

    Try not putting out the next time you see him and see if he sticks around. Then we can talk.

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