For online dating sites, should guys message girls? Or simply Wink, etc and let them message if interested?

So weird question... if a guy sends a message to a girl he likes on an online dating site, chances are he will not get a reply unless she has some interest too. Therefore, is it sufficient for them to just send a wink, click yes, etc. to save time, knowing that if the girl is interested at all she will message him? Or does him sending the first message actually contribute to the odds of her taking notice and/or making her more interested?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've talked to several women who have used these sites and they all say the same thing. It is rare that a woman receives a message that is thoughtful and interesting. Most guys send sexual/vulgar messages or they send generic boilerplates like "hey how are you".

    Also, don't wink. Just put on a pair of balls and send an awesome message.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I honestly think your profile should do the talking, if a girl stands out to you message her... but winking seems like you are just spamming every decent looking girl.

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  • You don't know how many people are clicking yes on her, so if you want to stand out you should send a message. And that message shouldn't just be a wink, because then she will assume that you just like her body or are just looking for sex. I like what kheserthorpe said about finding her interesting and wanting to know more, that shows that you are looking for a girl with personality not just looks.

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  • Message her. Otherwise, you'll likely be overlooked. Read her profile and if you're interested, send her a message and go from there. Just make sure its not just "hi, I liked your pictures." If she says she likes the same kind of music you do, mention that.

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What Guys Said 2

  • There are no 'girls you like' on online dating sites. You don't know any of them.

    She will most likely not bother responding to a wink.

    Send a quick message saying you found her profile interesting and would like to get to know her more.

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  • I always message only and avoid winks, etc. just get to the point and start asking them about themselves

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