How do I get motivation to workout after this?

I'm such a late bloomer 22 and not even kissed. On top of that I need to loose 30 lbs to be at a good weight for me. I'm kind of tall so the weight balances out and I only look "a little overweight" according to a very blunt guy friend of mine.

However, I've been on dates from pof all first dates so a total of 4 with four different guys. They ALL rejected me and were jerks on the date even though I talked to them via text or phone and they had seen my pics. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

Here's a tid bit of what these guys said during the date, and they were all different guys, so something is wrong with me.

-"When are you meeting your friend" (while looking at the watch for the second time) - 2 guys did this

- After I talked about a random creep msging me to become his boss on pof the guy I was on my first date ever really with replies "Ya you should take him up on his offer"

- "You try to get intouch with your high school good friend and over a two hour coffee you find out you have nothing in common its pointless" (we were having coffee for 2 hrs at the point when he said it)

-"See ya later" - 3 guys said this

-(shakes hand) before and after the date

Yeah so before my last date which was about 3 weeks ago I was so into working out and I have acne too even that improved. Now I've started eating junk again, its hard for me to loose weight with thryoid but now I've really stopped caring. I feel like no guy ever wants to be with me and loosing 10-15 lbs isn't going to make a difference and in order to loose even that much weight I have to be veryyyyy disciplined because of my medical condition.

One of my friends who pretty much just dates online has success and tbh I think I'm better looking than her. The last guy she went on date with recently basically told her how he wanted to be with her longterm and told her to delete her dating profile because she doesn't need the other guys! Meanwhile I repel guys.

I've tried so damn hard. Read dating books, went online, asked for friends to be set-up (apparently none of their guy friends are single or are much older). No guy friggin wants me!

On top of that me and my "best friend" broke up because she constantly flaked this year so we got into a huge fight and he blamed me even though she was the one at fault. None of this is motivating me to workout like I used to.

I don't know what to do or just give up. Can anyone relate to me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds to me like none of these guys were interesed after meeting you in person, and one of the reasons I have problems with online dating personally is everything is based upon a visual and a self written summary. Sometimes there's just no attraction and no connection after meeting in person.

    I think you're striking out for two reasons. 1. You're picking the wrong guys. These guys are obviously more interested in looks and are probably quite shallow, or are interested in the typically one thing women get tons of email about on dating sites: sex.
    2. Something turned them off. Attitude, stories, personal habits you can't control? not your fault and not someone you want anyway. If they don't like you it's not going to work. Rejection happens a lot you should just keep trying. Internet dating is like playing roulette with a pistol sometimes.

    Don't give up if you're serious, On another note a lot of times when I quit looking I usually met someone shortly after. But don't give up for yourself. Especially don't give up because of some guy who rejected you.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Look there's two types of guy and they both use a different head, the bad guys think with their d***s and will only go for a girls body, and the otherone will think with his head, if a guy is bragging and behaving like look I'm awesome and cool because I try to fit in with the cool people like a status bitch those guys will end up getting a cheating wife because they f*** every slut they can find, the giod guys mostly are a bit shy or not really have the confidence to talk to you but thry will look at you but if you look back at them they'll turn their head like they didn't stare at all but but you can sometimes see it, if you see it mostly those guys are a bit scared of the other gender so you can smile when you walk past him, if he's into you he would smile too that means he saw you smiling and made him happy. You can try to say hi to him the next day, make him think of you the whole day (a guy who likes you and saw you smiling at him will have a great day) and the day yu say hi he will say hi back with a smile, big chance he doesn't know what to say so just ask him some easy stuff like what's your name, what lessons do you follow, and how his day was it'll break the ice a bit and he would be a little bit more lose and able to talk to you and ask you some simple stuff. If you find a guy like that he would love you for who you are and what you deserve because I bet you're a great girl, I would definitly hang out with you. Don't think a guy doesn't like you, but be glad bad guys don't like you. The right guy will be there one day, but don't be blind because a guy is a bit obvious in body language (google body language if a guy likes you, girls actually make it a bit harder to seebut play with your hair and smile a lot every guy likes that

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  • Your body is not the reason those guys were jerks. They were born jerks.

    It sounds at least 2 of the 4 guys you met on pof were duds. You should ask for a refund, lol.

    In any case, what happened on those dates seems to be something personality-related rather than to do with your body. That still gives them no excuse to be anything other than gentlemen. After all, they agreed to the date.

    A guy who won't be a gentleman is a waste of your time, just as a women who is rude and conceited is a waste of my time.

    You can't let yourself be judged by dudes who are the bottom of the barrel. Their opinion counts for nothing. Zilch. Nada!

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  • "just keep swimming, just keep swimming" - Finding Nemo. Figured it was relevant since you were on POF.

    Do yourself a favor... When it comes to working out.. stop focusing on anything but today. Just be more consistent with your weight management. Don't work out everyday for 2 weeks really hard and then stop going... Work out today... Maybe tomorrow.. if don't go tomorrow go the day after. Be patient and give yourself time. Just like breaking habits, making them takes time and consistency. Who cares if you miss a day or cheat once, make a better decision next time.

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  • I'm the same way.. only I'm a male. I'm 22 like you, I'm 6'1" and 162 lbs. I'm nowhere close to overweight, I have a slender and toned body like a basketball player. I don't smoke or drink or anything, I have a stable job and I'm taking college courses. Girls always tell me how friendly I am and always tell me how much they love my deep voice and my height. However when it comes to dating... I'm always friend zoned. I've never even been ON a date before. The closest thing to a date I've ever had was a girl that I knew online for a few years, we met up and went out and after the "date" was over, she claimed that she thought I was joking when I used the word "date" and claimed she viewed it all as just a friendly thing. Send me a friend request if you'd like to, maybe we can talk and share some insight.

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  • how many guys have you asked out? or are you the typical woman who sits and waits for men to approach her?

    I like women who make the first move

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  • I'm so sorry that you're experiencing these difficulties in dating... but don't give up! Persistence is the key... There's someone for everyone :)

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  • i'm 25 and still haven't had a girlfriend or been in a relationship, you don't have to be rude with responding to me, I swear I'm being honest with you, you are not alone

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  • The sexiest thing about any person is their mind. Learn to love yourself and stop obsessing over the vessel that gets you from point A to point B. And my guess is you're giving an unrealistic impression of yourself while trying to date online.

    People do it so often I stopped doing the online dating thing. They enjoy taking a picture from way up high or some obscure angle making themselves look like an entirely different person. Then the added fatality is they also pretend to characteristically be an entirely different person and when you meet them it's such a shock that it turns you right off. I've literally walked into a date, turned on my heels, then walked right out.

    I hate having people try and fool me into believing something that isn't real and most people say the same thing. The internet is only a good place to meet people if you have the capability of being fully honest about yourself and those who are insecure are never honest online.

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    • But that's what shocking I'm actually really honest. I tell guys that I'm average/curvy and the pics I send are like off my phone or off a fb album a friend posted which is just how I take pictures. I don't do those weird angle/ or selfie shots. I know I'm photogenic even my friends say so...so maybe I should have just tried taking pics that make me look uglier.

What Girls Said 5

  • You're talking about online dating. It's not natural, you're more likely to find yourself on a date with an a**hole when you've never met in person. And you don't want to be with those guys anyway so who cares if they didn't like you. Sure you're not perfect but there's not a person out there who is. We're all majorly flawed in many ways but that's what makes us human.

    Why don't you just increase your social outings without any romantic pressure. Take up weekend/evening courses/classes. Go to social events or join societies. Many work places have sports and social clubs that take trips away and go to events. These are the perfect opportunities to meet new friends. The more friends you have the more likely you are to meet a decent man without any nasty surprises. Work on being the person you want to be and the guys will come along in their own time. You're only 22 and you've already gone on more real dates than I have. I tend to just end up with guys without the formal courting. I'd suck at dates, they're not easy.

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  • For a very long time I struggled with my body image physically and emotionally, and it wasn't until three years ago that I finally realized that every one is made in God's own image and that every one is unique in the own way. I know that you may not feel pretty but I bet that you are. You have to first love and accept yourself for you and then you will be able to go out into the world with full confidence. This new found confidence will shine through for everyone to see. Remember God always loves you!

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  • I am still single and much older than you. A guy friend was blunt with me saying I should put on make up to attract guys. Seriously I couldn't be bothered to do so as I hate make up and prefer natural way. As much as I want to , I know I can't rush tnings. Those guys you had met are rude and not sincere, yes those experiences could bring you or anyone down but donot give up., it is their fault to be have in tthat manner. Continue to improve on yourself.

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  • As long as you have a pretty face the body doesn't matter. You probably just need more confidence. I doubt it is your weight.

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  • I think you would become a bit more attractive, if you find a cause in your life. What makes you passionate about living life or keep going, regardless of a guy in your life? Because they can't be the only thing or everything that will make you happy forever. Guys come and go.

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