Why is it some women don't date guys with kids but have kids of their own?

Pass up really good guys with a kid(s), and fall for the loser because he has none... But you have kids yourself.. Why is that?.. And since when did having a kid(s) become a disease?..


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmmm I'm honestly not sure. I've never heard of that in my life! She would be a total hypocrite and so wrong for acting like that!

    It's not that having kids is a disease, it's that dating someone with kids can sincerely be a pain in the ass. I'm sorry, I hope that doesn't offend you, but I'm just being honest. A lot of people are not even ready to be parents or to be playing a parent's role/having to be a role model because there's a child around. Hell, most of the people having these kids weren't even ready! So it's pretty irritating when you find a great guy who has children and they naturally critique you as a 'mommy figure'. Men and women may say they don't, but we all know they do! If they are good parents, their child will come first but that doesn't mean they are desensitized towards companionship. I think all moms/dads with children consider if the datee would be a good 'mommy or daddy figure' because the kid is not leaving their life and sooner or later they will want companionship from the RIGHT person. Generally, that can be aggravating. Even if the datee embraces the situation, at the end of the day, they have absolutely no legal rights to that child. Things may not work out and they are attached to some kid they'll never see again. As a female, you have to worry about baby mama drama because the mother rightfully so feels replaced in a family unit ESPECIALLY if she's single. If he is your average guy, he may not even have enough money to provide for his children and wine and dine the female. Which could really become annoying if you want to go out and do fun things that cost money. And I hate to say it, but sometimes kids are just outright bratty and rude. It's a phase nonetheless, but it makes things really awkward and uncomfortable for the woman or man their parent is dating because they have to put up with a bad ass kid's behavior.

    Just being sincere! I hope you can appreciate that

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    • Of course I appreciate the honesty and am not offended by any of it... I asked this question in order to get people perspective of the situation and see if it was the same as mine... Your answer was great and very informative... Exactly the type of feedback I was looking for... Thanks a million tasteofgrace!..

    • thanks for ba! :)

      Good luck finding a woman who understands your situation :)

What Girls Said 9

  • Why is it some women don't date guys with kids but have kids of their own?

    Likely the same reason why some 30s+ guys don't date 30s+ gals, some ugly guys don't date ugly gals, or some fat guys don't date fat gals. That reason probably being that having a trait doesn't necessarily mean finding it attractive in a partner.

    And since when did having a kid(s) become a disease?.

    Probably since the beginning of civilization when gals with kids and no partner were looked as as whores,sluts,used, etc. In my opinion it only recently starter becoming a disease for both genders.

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    • Very good answers... Thanks for that feedback udolipixie... Reality check at its best!..

  • I've never heard of women WITH kids feeling this way. I know I won't talk to a guy with kids but I don't have any myself.

    My mom once told me of a time she turned a guy down because he had a new baby and she felt like she was done with that stage of raising kids (her kids were between 6-12) and didn't wanna deal with new born trouble (crying all night, diapers, bottle fed, etc.). So maybe that's a reason also.

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    • Yheah jenni_ms... I definitely feel your mom on that one... Someone with a newborn shouldn't be worrying about getting into a relationship anyway... He shoulda been thinkin bout his priorities... Thanks for your feedback...

  • Some people don't want any more children or perhaps they don't want to take care of other peoples' kids. The second one is hypocritical but when you're hypocritical you run the risk of not dating anybody. If they're willing to take that risk, then it doesn't really matter.

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    • Redsmartie I guess I never really saw it as taking care of the others kids... There is a lot of sense in that though even if the kids aren't permanently placed with the parent... This situation would be more understanding if both adults have children... Probably why everyone finds this particular situation so odd... Thanks for your thoughts

  • my opinion on this is that men who have children and are not with their spouse will leave you too and pregnant .

    women don't like dating men who leave there family as in they take of their children but are no longer with their spouse you see the picture . we fear that you will get us pregnant and also leave us

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    • Thank you for answering and sharing your thoughts eveline.. I totally respect your opinion and its true, stuff like that does happen.. Not every situation is like that.. Nowadays some woman have the same lack of respect for their spouse as men are thought to have.. What if this guy did the best he could to keep the relationship and family together, it was her that broke it all up because of her actions?. Here we have a man with all the qualities a woman desires,but doesn't get a chance...

    • well time will tell just stop hoping you find some one if you are hoping

    • Thank you eveline... I was hoping but I'm patient... I'm a true believer of the term "if its meant to be,let it be"...

  • maybe because they don't think they can handle taking care of their kids plus x many more? unfortunately, young kids (that aren't your own) are often seen as unwanted baggage. :/

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    • I think everyone's situation is different though... Why not get to know the person and their situation before making that assumption?.. Just asking in general skinandbones, I thank you for answering and sharing your thoughts btw...

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    • Very true... I totally understand now... Getting people's perspective is a great way to gather information and see things for what they really are and not just what's played out in your own mind... I thank you bunches again skinandbones

    • glad I could help :)

  • she's got her own baggage and that guy might have baggage too.

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    • Very true... Straight and to the point... Thanks for your thoughts abundantlyrich...

  • because maybe she doesn't want more kids in her life?

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  • I have never heard of that. I couldn't possibly think of why someone would be such a hypocrite.

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    • Oh believe me notsureofanything!.. It's happened... Lol... Not sure why myself, but we both can also agree on what that person can be described as...

  • Because they already have kids and don't want to be your baby mama on top of that. I mean why do you think? Common sense.

    Or they're just hypocritical.

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    • Beebo nobody's askin anyone to be a baby momma!.. They have a mom and she does a good enough job at it... It's about the companionship... Just because parents called it quits doesn't mean it should be the end for them in terms of having a love life... If she has a child it is a bit hypocritical on her part... Don't see the common sense in your answer and I'm sure anyone with kids reading this would agree... Thanks for your OPINION

What Guys Said 3

  • Some girls avoid it but I have read other single parents will look mainly for a single parent because they feel that person will relate to them better.

    But what you're describing is also common in other areas. Many girls will look for a guy who has stuff they want and think they deserve it too. They'll look for a guy with a house and try to move in. They'll look for a guy who has money and try to make him go to expensive places for her. So they'll have a dramatic issue with their ex and have a kid and assume every single parent is in the same boat and avoid them. I have talked to single moms online and not many are able to avoid bringing up their ex. I would not assume though that someone is a loser because he doesn't have a kid. I expect as I get older to see more single parents. It's the ones who are in their lower 20's and younger who are more likely to have had kids irresponsibly.

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    • Good answer theguyoverthere great feedback... Thank you for sharing your thoughts...

    • Wasn't at all trying say a guy without kids is a loser, sorry if the question came out wrong and it seemed I did... In this case, she dated two guys without kids since and the relationships failed because the guys themselves were losers and had no respect for the woman she is... All they wanted was a piece of the pie and had no intentions of giving her say the respect I would have given her...

    • What she is saying then is that she would never appreciate what you have to offer if you two date then. You'd be taken for granted in a relationship with her.

  • I think people are free to set whatever kinds of standards they want for the opposite sex. And the opposite sex is free to not go out with them even if they do meet them.

    Basically, by putting guys with kids as a no no, yet you have kids of your own, you are restricting yourself, but if you find a guy who has no kids and doesn't mind that you do, then it's no issue.

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    • Very true shadowscapes... Can never argue honesty and ones right to make their own decisions... Thanks for sharing your thoughts...

  • People have a hard enough time taking on their own responsibility never mind having the desire to share someone elses

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    • Didnt think of it that way but it makes sense straightfreak... Thanks for sharing your thoughts...

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