Where do I meet guys? How can I get a date?

You always hear about how easy it is for women to get dates, etc. but I don't have that expirence. I've never had a boyfriend and I'm 20 years old, I hate the whole club scene and would never do that, but how else do I meet a good guy?

I never get approached, I even put my pic up on a dating site b.c I thought maybe I'm not attractive, but I got lots of responses from good looking guys

so I don't know, how come I never get approached? Not at my university, mall, beach, etc. Where can I go to meet a nice guy?

I'm so frustrated


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you live in a culture where guys aren't supposed to approach girls during the daytime?

    I venture to guess that, that's the case.

    I live in a culture like that and I too am not a club going person.

    But I have approached a few girls, a total of three.

    Two because I got the gut feeling that they really liked me and wanted me to approach them badly; so it was a combination of my gut feeling and their body language.

    But the third one was a girl I had also seen in my college and she never once gave me any impression that she wanted me to approach her; but she was and is gorgeous looking - but once when I was studing in my study hall she came in and this time had two female friends (I had always seen her alone before) and she started sending out signals like crazy; even had her friend walk behind her so the friend could observe me if I was checking out the girl that was sending the signals; and once the girl walked by me by herself and looked into my eyes for a few seconds, which she had never done before.

    I approached her eventually and talked to her a little, and in front of her friends, but she was such a nervous wreck that I thought I was bothering her and even that I had misread the signals (which, though, I don't think) ...don't know how I'm gonna handle the situation during the next semester.

    But if your not willing to approach a guy yourself (meaning being the first to talk to him), then your best bet is to send out a sh!t load of signals, and even have a friend of yours observe the guy to see if he is checking you out. And then you'll have to cross your fingers, and if he finally approaches (no guarantee - I'm very introverted and extremely shy, so approaching the third girl was a big step out of my comfort zone) then please, please, please, don't be nervous and make him feel like he's welcome.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Mlle.,

    Go Get your Guy. Straight up.

    Good guys are all around, some of us are Shy. You have to understand, part of what makes a good man is manners... Notice God and Good aren't that far apart. Now, before my Momma and my Old Preacher start beating the Holy Bible, I am gonna tell ya, that we good men are there for the taking... but I would never approach a Mademoiselle who I knew wasn't comfrotable with me. Not ever.

    I AM one of the good guys, was in the ARMY, and I can tell you, here to defend, not to take, to my grave. Wether I be 45 or 145, that's the way it's gonna be. My wife, she's a good Lady, I would never leave her. Of course, a man is looking; we can't help that. But there ain't no way I am leavin' my wife's sweet bed or her supper table, not for any of those high flapper babes, or big California Cuties. Not happenin'. Not by a damn long stretch.

    Go bake a pie, bring it to a man you like. Put a summer dress on, and bring him some lemonade. Believe you me, he will notice you. Remember always, men think in the moment, women always think about tomorrow.

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  • Most relationships don't start with someone walking up to you at your university, mall, beach, etc and asking you out. Most relationships start through mutual friends, at mutual gatherings. You meet, you chat, some ice is broken, and THEN maybe something else happens. Nobody likes to be rejected, so if you're not in a place that's typically designated for "advertising" yourself, you're not likely to get approached (and unless you're looking to be "picked up", you're not going to get the kinds of guys you want).

    So, since most of us meet people THROUGH other people, you need to create situations where you have to interact with others. Join a club, a volunteer group, some other sort of organization, make new friends. Expand your social circle, and you'll expand your chances.

    I know that's way easier said than done, believe me.

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    • smart answer :>

      +1 to this~

      its true nowadays finding a decent guy is impossible as the old fashioned way, getting picked up is easy enough but its never a good idea as those kinds are only after your body and typically not serious, the best way really is through a circle of friends, and more often than not your friends would help find one for you, its easier to get to know them as well before doing anything so its a good concept to work with, and much less stupid mistakes as well :p

  • ask a friend to hook you up. maybe ask a guy out. join a dating site. maybe go out to club or bar at least to get the satisfaction of a guy approaching up to you.

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  • Try approaching a guy for a change... you're getting responses from all of these guys right?... did it ever cross your mind for YOU to ask THEM for their phone number?

    Nice guys are everywhere, in fact, there's an over-abundance of them... that's why questions like this coming from women make me sick...

    It's 2013, you're an early 20s University student... THERE ARE NO EXCUSES FOR YOU!

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  • Do you ever initiate conversations with guys in these places? If a guy is focused on doing anything or getting anything done we tend finger tunnel vision and not pick up subtle female hints...so come say hello to us!

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  • Start getting involved in activities and hobbies that interest you. Doing things that make you happy and that you're interested in (unless it's video games) makes you an interesting person. People like to date interesting people.

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  • Date me. I'll come pick you up around 6.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Join an extra curricular campus activity of your interest, there are guys there , and just put yourself out there

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    • I've done that, I've done it all :/

    • Show All
    • you don't need a make over to get guys. As long as you are assertive and try to start conversation with a guy you will find one soon enough. You don't have to change yourself that much

    • Make overs make girls feel more confident, as a man you would never understand

  • Go to a bar

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  • Join a club

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  • Start a conversation yourself. You are getting responses from guys, that's great. You're a step ahead of me. I've tried online dating, didn't work out. I'm average-looking with a lifestyle that not many people like though so that's probably why. But just go out and talk to guys. You can even get their number. Say you both like watching your local hockey team and you happen to be going to a game with your friends, tell him “Here, let me get your number, my friends and I are going to a game on Friday, you should come!” Probably a bit forward but that's just one idea. The main point being, guys won't know you exist unless you smile at them, walk up and say hi. Or return their messages on the dating site.

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