Insecurities/negative thinking about the dating world and the opposite gender. How do I change it?

Has anyone gone through a stage in their life where they don't trust the opposite gender; or dating in general?

I had a break up in February that I'm pretty much healed from. I realized my faults in the breakups as well as hers. But it triggered some unrelated thoughts about dating in general.

I see friends cheat on their girlfriends. Or girls emotionally/physically cheating. Divorces.

Maybe it's an insecurity of mine or something, but I don't trust women (saying this because I DATE that gender-not saying women are responsible). I think it's natural to have a knee-jerk reaction of not trusting the opposite sex. Maybe I don't feel good enough that they will be faithful. I have a negative image of the dating world that makes me scared to enter it. All in all I know I need to get over this.

And possibly sucks more because my ex started dating someone a month and a half after the break up. It feels tough to get back in the game and sucks she is already gone.

Who has dealt with these insecurities/thoughts? I'm open to any kind of advice, experiences, quotes, etc that can shed some light!

Thanks!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have been through this. I feel at times like it's my fault things went wrong but as I've probably had it rougher than you I can tell you this: the negative feelings will pass with time. I have spent a couple of years at a time being single, and happy about it. Yeah, someone hurt me so much that I let them get to me and affect my life, but at the same time I'm happy without relying on a relationship or someone else to make me happy.

    I spent a lot of time saying this, and I know it's a horrible generalization and thing to say but it's how I felt when all I could remember was how many people she slept with while we were in a relationship. "all women are bitches, all bitches are ho's."

    You don't really change it, you just try to learn from your past mistakes and when you're not feeling so angry/insecure at the whole dating world you'll be ready to get back in the game. Just make sure you feel ready for dating otherwise you're wasting your time.

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What Girls Said 1

  • try to get to know people before making judgments, most people are pretty decent when you spend the time to get to know them.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Divorced 15 years ago, I'll never trust again. Dating is a fools game like playing Russian roulette with a grenade.

    Don't waste your life and energy, it's not you, you are fine. You just live in an unfair environment toxic to decent men. Save yourself the pain go MGTOW.

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